


If Wishes Were Fishes

by Evaine



Category: Seven Brides for Seven Brothers (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-20
Updated: 2017-02-20
Packaged: 2018-09-25 17:28:37
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 60,862
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9834494
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Evaine/pseuds/Evaine
Summary: Twins Kate and Kayla Cantrell return home to the Sierra Nevadas upon the death of their grandfather.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Please know that this was written back in 1984, as I recall. I had no editors. I used a small electric typewriter. I had no idea about the use of italics. But I do remember that I loved writing this. And I've learned a lot since then. *LOL*
> 
> When I began transcribing this from paper to computer, I made the conscious decision to leave everything as it was. No editing on my part. That just about killed me! This is the original in all it's questionable glory. 
> 
> From the time I was a little girl, whenever I would wish for something, or indeed anything, Mom would tell me, "If wishes were fishes, pigs might fly." So, in honour of my wonderful mom, Evelyn, I dedicate this story.

**If Wishes Were Fishes**  

 

Chapter One

            “I just can’t believe it!”  Kayla said for at least the tenth time that morning. Her green eyes were swollen with tears shed time and time again since the phone call the night before.

           “I just wish we could have been there.”  Kate clenched the steering wheel of her red Mustang until her knuckles turned white.  Unlike her sister, she had been unable to release her grief with tears.

           Kate and Kayla Cantrell were on their way to their childhood home, a place they had not been in the four years since their high school graduation.  The evening before, the phone had sounded in their San Francisco apartment, announcing the sad news of their grandfather’s sudden death.  It had been old Sam Cantrell who had brought the girls up when they had been orphaned at the tender age of six.  He had been so proud of his twin granddaughters, and had uttered not one word of protest when they had decided to head to the city to make their marks on the world.  He understood that a ranch in the Sierra Nevada Mountains might not hold the attraction of San Francisco for two young, ambitious women.  Now he was gone, and both of his granddaughters regretted that they had not been there for him as he had been for them most of their lives.

           “Did Adam say anything else when he called?”  Kayla asked as they finally approached the small town of Murphys. The Cantrell ranch lay almost ten miles on the other side of town.

           “Only that one of them would stay at the ranch until we arrived and they’d give us whatever help we needed,”  Kate replied. 

           The McFadden family were the closes neighbours to the Cantrell ranch, their land joining Sam’s on the western boundary.  A large family of seven brothers, the McFaddens always seemed to be there to help.  When the Cantrell barn had burned years ago, Adam Sr. and his three oldest sons had been the first to arrive and evacuate the horses that were in danger of being caught in the inferno.  When Sam had been incapacitated by a broken collarbone, it was Brian McFadden, the second brother, who had taken over until the old man was finally able to function once again.  When Kate had taken a bad fall from her horse while riding alone in the high country, it had been McFaddens who led the search party, and Crane, the third brother, who found her unable to walk due to a sprained ankle.  And when Sam Cantrell had succumbed to a sudden heart attack, it had been Adam Jr.’s wife, Hannah, who had found him while making one of her weekly visits.  She made it a point to visit Sam at least once a week, not wanting the old man to feel lonely and neglected.

           “The place hasn’t changed much, has it?”  Kate observed as they passed through Murphys and headed towards the ranch.

           “I’d have been disappointed if it had,”  Kayla said, pulling a small mirror from her purse and endeavouring to repair the ravages of her make-up that her tears had caused.  “You know, I hadn’t realized how much I’ve missed it until right now.” 

           “I know what you mean,” Kate agreed.  “This is always going to be home, no matter where we live or for how long.  I guess it’s ‘cause our roots are here.”

           The sisters fell silent, each thinking back to the simpler times of their childhood.  Life then was school, helping their grandfather work on the ranch, weekly dancing lessons in Murphys, riding out on picnics.  They hadn’t missed their parents after the first few months.  After all, at six years of age, one’s memory dims rather quickly, and their grandfather showered them with so much love and affection that the void of the tragedy was quickly filled.  Even when they were grown and busy with their careers; Kate with her dancing on television variety shows and live theater musicals and Kayla with her ballet, the days of their childhood were never forgotten.  Pushed to the backs of their minds at times, but never forgotten.

           “Oh, Kate, I don’t know if I can handle this!”  Kayla said shakily as the car came to a stop in front of the large farmhouse that they had grown up in.

           “Sure you can,” her twin said pointedly.  Kayla had always been much more open with her emotions than herself.  Her tears and laughter came much easier than Kate’s did.  Maybe it was because Kate was the elder twin by five minutes and had always felt responsible for her sister, setting a good example by her reticence.  “Well,” she sighed.  “Let’s get this over with,” she said firmly, heading up the walkway to the house, Kayla close behind.

           As they approached the porch steps, the door swung open and a young man emerged, a subdued but welcoming smile on his familiar face.

          “Why Daniel!  I almost didn’t recognize you.”  Kate greeted with a small smile of her own as she climbed the steps to meet the middle McFadden brother.

           “Hi, Kate?”  The young man was slightly confused as he looked from one sister to the other.  It was a situation that was not new to the Cantrell sisters.  There were not many who could tell them apart.  Both wore their auburn hair long, past their waists, little make-up and today were dressed in jeans and sweat shirts.

           “That’s right,” she chuckled tightly, gripping his extended hand. Only Kayla knew of the pain she was experiencing at this moment.

           “I was just getting some lunch ready,”  Daniel said conversationally as they entered the house.  “Would you like something?  I can easily fix more.”  It seemed to Kate that he was doing his best to make this moment of arrival easier for them and appreciated it greatly.  She remembered Daniel as a flip teenager, two years her junior, and was slightly surprised at the change in him.

           “I think a cup of coffee is all I can handle right now.”  Kayla told him, the unsteadiness of her voice telling of the struggle she was having to keep her grief from exploding into tears and sobs.

           “Same for me,”  Kate echoed softly, gazing around at the familiar furnishings of the homey living room.  She could still smell the aroma of her grandfather’s pipe tobacco lingering in the room.  Her eyes filled with tears, but she quickly blinked them away.  She could not give in yet.

           “Adam took care of everything yesterday,”  Daniel said in response to Kate’s question once they were seated around the kitchen table.  “He figured that if you wanted something different it could be changed, but it might be easier if someone set the wheels in motion to begin with.”

           “I’m sure everything is fine,”  Kate assured him.  She had done worse in her lifetime than trust a McFadden.  “But I guess we should talk to him to make sure.”

           “He said to tell you that he’ll go into town with you to the funeral parlour if you’d like.  Just let him know when.”  Daniel was trying to be businesslike, but Kate sensed the underlying sadness in his manner.  Sam Cantrell had been a good friend to the McFaddens.

 

           “Adam, what’s bothering you?”  Hannah asked for the third time.  She had watched him pace back and forth ever since they had come to bed, and it did not take a genius to figure out that something was on his mind.

           “Aw, honey, I don’t know!”  He collapsed on their double bed and heaved a great sigh.  “I guess Sam’s death really got to me.   He was always so good to us, especially after Dad died.  He kept us on our feet until I was able to take over.  I’m gonna miss him.”  His brown eyes filled with incredible sadness.

           “What about the girls?  How did you find them?”  Hannah probed, knowing that there was more.  It was only after his meeting with the Cantrell sisters that he had become so perturbed.

           “Not quite what I expected,”  he admitted, finally beginning to undress and get into bed.  “Mind you, I don’t know if I expected a total change or for them to be exactly as I remembered them.  Outwardly, they’ve become quite citified.  Sophisticated I guess is a better word.  Kate more so than Kayla.  She was so cool and in control of everything that I had to remind myself that this was the tomboy who was in and out of trouble with the changing of the wind.  I know Sam’s fondest dream was that one or both of them would come back and take over the ranch, but I don’t know.  It’s probably too soon to think about it anyway.  It just seems a shame that they never came back once they left.  Even for a visit.”  He reached across his wife and turned out the bedside lamp.

           “Maybe they’ll surprise you,”  Hannah offered, cuddling up to her husband’s warm, accommodating form.

           “Maybe,” he echoed, but did not sound convinced.  He felt instinctively that an upheaval was on the horizon.

 

           Kate awoke early, before the sun had barely risen.  Quietly, she grabbed her jeans and sweatshirt and crept from the room she shared with Kayla.  Her sister had been unable to sleep in her own the night before and had commandeered the second twin bed in her room.

           Before leaving the house, Kate set the coffee to perking, then headed off for a long walk to clear her head.  Too many conflicting emotions had been at war within her since the previous day.  She had not thought it would be so hard to return to Carbon County.  Seeing Adam McFadden the night before had been the final straw. 

           She had hero-worshipped him as a young girl and the look in his eyes had almost destroyed whatever control she was managing to maintain.  It was almost an accusing look, condemning both her and Kayla for leaving the ranch in the first place.  On top of everything else, it had hurt.  Grandad had understood, not knowing the whole story, so why couldn’t Adam?

           The whole story.  It seemed so long ago, yet at this moment, the hurt was so fresh that it could have happened yesterday.  She had really been so young four years ago.  Nineteen and freshly graduated from high school.  She remembered clearly, the day she had taken notice of Brian McFadden as a man.  Up until that day, she had thought of him as only one of the brothers.  The ‘McFadden Lads’ was what Grandad used to call them.

           She had been sitting on the front porch reading when he rode up late that afternoon.  He had been up in the high country for the past few days and was dusty, rumpled and unshaven, but that hadn’t kept his animal magnetism from bursting upon her full force.  If he’d noticed anything different in her flustered manner, he hadn’t shown it.  He had never shown her anything more than tolerant, brotherly affection when it came down to it.  Of course, Kayla thought she was nuts when her twin confided in her.

            The weeks passed and Kate had been unable to make Brian sit up and notice her as she wanted.  Then it was almost time for the girls to leave for San Francisco and dancing school.  Time was running out and she knew she had to do something.  Anything.  So, summoning all her courage, she had approached him.  She knew he would be out checking fences along the boundary of their land and planned the easiest way to ‘accidently’ run into him.  It had been almost too easy, she realized in retrospect.

           Casting aside all her pride, she admitted her feelings for him, certain that once he knew, he would whisk her away to some magical place and claim her as his.  Unfortunately Brian McFadden was not one to be led.  He had not been so cruel as to laugh at her, but the hurt was as deep as if he had.  She had made some flip remark, wheeled her horse about and galloped as fast and as far away as she could. 

           Finally, she reined her mount to a stop and slid from it’s back, tears streaming down her face.  She collapsed on the mossy ground beneath the stand of trees and gave into the pain of rejection.  She cried until her sobs were dry and wracking and still the pain persisted.  Suddenly, she heard her name called in surprise and a moment later, comforting arms were around her.  It was Crane, her best friend in the world after her twin.  The tears began anew as he tried in vain to coax her into telling him what the problem was.

           How long they sat on the ground she never knew, but it was long enough for her to make another of the biggest mistakes of her life.  She was certain that it had taken Crane by as much surprise as it had herself.  One moment she was sobbing into his chest and the next she found herself kissing him, quite willingly.  Wits scattered to the four compass points, she let herself enjoy the pleasurable, new sensations that coursed through her body, temporarily healing the wound caused by the brother of them man in whose arms she lay.  Brian was forgotten as she discovered things about herself that she would never have dreamt.

           It was only upon arriving home as the sun was setting that she realized the enormity of what she had done.  Rejected by one brother, she had fled straight to the love-making of the other.  She locked herself in her room, refusing to come out even for her twin.  She had never known despair so dark.  Thankfully, they left for San Francisco three days later and without her seeing Brian or Crane again.

 

           “Kate, what does one wear to a funeral parlor?”  Kayla asked plaintively late that afternoon as the girls prepared for the first of their coming ordeals.

           “Oh, wear your grey dress,” he twin replied, her mind on other, more important things.  She looked over she shoulder at Kayla and was instantly contrite when the green eyes, so like hers, filled with tears.  “I’m sorry!”  She exclaimed, hugging her sister tightly.  Kayla would never survive the next few days if she kept snapping at her in this manner.

           “Katy, tell me it’s not an open coffin!”  This was Kayla’s greatest fear.  One she would not be reassured about with any amount of promises.

           “Of course it’s not,”  Kate scolded affectionately, pushing all her own worries to the back of her mind.  Kayla needed all her support now.  “Now, c’mon Kayla.  You’re a Cantrell, and Cantrells don’t cry in public.  Grandad wouldn’t want you to, you know.”

           “I know,” Kayla acknowledged with a sniff.  “It just seems like I start crying just for the sake of it.  I can’t stop!”  She pushed her auburn hair off her face in a gesture of exasperation.  “I feel like a total wimp!”

           “It’s natural,” Kate assured her.   “Now go on upstairs and get dressed.  We have to leave soon.”  She urged.  Once Kayla had left the room, she sank down on the sofa, unmindful of the creases she could be putting in her navy blue suit.  She did not know which she dreaded more, doing the funeral parlor or meeting either Brian or Crane.  If she had been the type to pop tranquilizers, she would have downed a bottle by now.  At least a bottle, she amended.

           At the funeral parlor, the girls were met by Joe Brewster, Murphy’s mortician.  Kate could not quell a small smile as she remembered jokes from her childhood at his expense.  He led them to the room in which Sam Cantrell’s lifeless body lay in its coffin, then left them tactfully to themselves.  Once again, tears began to trickle down Kayla’s cheeks, but this time she dashed them angrily away.

           “I’m not going to cry anymore.”  She told her sister in a firm voice.

           Slowly at first, then as a steady stream, the people of Murphys and the surrounding area came to offer their condolences.  Sam Cantrell had been a well-liked and respected man in the small community and would be sorely missed.  Throughout the evening, Kate and Kayla kept up their brave fronts and greeted their old neighbours calmly and graciously.  Even the appearance of Adam with his wife and two youngest brothers could not shake their equilibrium.

           “The others will be coming along soon,” Adam told Kayla when she asked after the rest of his family.  Kate felt a cold knot form in her stomach at his words.  There was no denying it, facing Brian and Crane was going to be the hardest thing she had ever done in her twenty-three years of life.

           The night seemed to go on forever from that moment and Kate’s nerves were stretched taut.  The iron control she had kept herself under for the past two days was slipping.  Finally, giving into the urges she had fought all day, she left Kayla in Hannah McFadden’s capable company and quietly left the room.  At the back of the old house that was now the funeral parlor, a small chamber had been arranged as a coffee and smoking room.

           “Can I get you a cup of coffee, Miss Cantrell?”  Joe asked, getting hurriedly to his feet as she entered the room.

           “Please,” she smiled wanly, sinking down on the single worn sofa.  Scattered along the walls were chairs of various shapes and sizes, all of which her unoccupied.

           “You just call if you need anything,”  Joe said, handing her a Styrofoam cup and smiling.  After a few more polite pleasantries, he left her alone with her thoughts.

           “Oh, hell!”  Kate sighed under her breath and dug into her purse to find the emergency package of cigarettes whose pull she had fought all day.  With a deep feeling of satisfaction, and some guilt, she inhaled the smoke and felt herself begin to relax.  Why did bad habits seem so good, she wondered.  Probably because they were bad, she decided.

           “Katy Cantrell sneaking a smoke.  I guess some things never change.”  The drawling voice that she remembered every inflection of stunned her into immobility.  After a long, silent second, she finally managed to force herself to swivel about.

           “Hello, Brian,” she greeted the tall form lounging in the doorway, her heart pounding painfully.

           He had not changed much over the past four years.  He still wore his dark hair longer than average and his blue eyes held that unmistakable devil-may-care glint that haunted her dreams even now.  The strong, carved features of his face had grown more rugged with maturity, but his mouth still curved ever-so-slightly into a small smile of overt sensuality that no woman could ignore.  He was right, some things never change, she thought wryly, gathering her startled wits.

           “Kayla said you were hiding out in here for a few minutes,” he explained, coming into the room and settling himself on the arm of a nearby chair.  “How are you doing?”

           “I’ve been better,” she understated ruefully.  “You?”

           “About usual,” he shrugged slightly.  “It’s been a long week.”

           “Amen to that,” she agreed.  She inhaled deeply one last time from her cigarette before stubbing it out.  “I guess I’d better get back inside,” she said, needing the buffer of other people between herself and the attractive man who sat so close to her.  She was amazed that she could walk so naturally when in reality her legs had all the solidity of jello.  It really was not fair that he could affect her in this manner and remain so calm himself.

           “Kate, just remember, if you and Kayla need anything, we’re just a phone call away.”  Brian told her seriously as they re-entered the laying-in-state room.

           “Thank you, Brian,” she replied with a small smile and promptly stepped into a tall, slim, familiar figure.

           “Hello, Kate.”  His voice was hushed and calm.

           “Hello, Crane.”  She met his blue gaze bravely and knew instantly that he remembered their last meeting with as much clarity as she herself did.

 

 

Chapter Two

           Kate stared at the patterns cast by the moonlit tree branches outside her bedroom window.  How long she had lain in bed, tossing and turning, she had no idea, but she knew it was a long time since she had turned in.  At last, admitting to herself that sleep would not be forthcoming, she arose from her bed and moved to curl up on the window seat. Laughing ruefully at herself for taking up her bad habit once again, she lit a cigarette and gazed out into the early morning darkness.

           The previous evening had been a trial unlike anything she had gone through in her life.  As if the all-encompassing grief she felt for the loss of her grandfather was not enough for her to cope with, upon meeting the McFaddens again, her emotions were thrown into a turmoil.

           All evening she had been aware of Adam’s disapproving glances.  It was obvious to her that he did not trust her or Kayla.  Could it be only because they had not returned to the mountains?  She didn’t feel that it was any of his business.  It had been between themselves and Grandad.  What right had Adam McFadden to pass judgement?

           Brian had been perfectly charming to both herself and Kayla, treating them with the same brotherly affection she remembered from four years before.  She was certain that he had forgotten, or at least pushed into deep memory, the scene of the day she had made such a fool of herself.  She could not deny, however, that her feelings were still the same.  One look at him had told her that.  She wanted him as much, if not more, that she had as a teenager.

           Crane’s presence had not exactly helped matters.  Outwardly, he was as he had always been, quiet, concerned for herself and Kayla, expressing pleasure at seeing them again, despite the sad circumstances.  But, he had been Kate’s close friend for many years and she knew him.  He had not forgotten their unexpected love-making anymore than she had.  Something lurking in the back of his solemn blue gaze told her that something was going on.  What, she didn’t know.  That it concerned herself, and by extension Kayla, she was certain.

           Sunk deep in thought, Kate watched the sky lighten, heralding another beautiful mountain day.  Hardly the type of day one would associate with a funeral.  It should be raining, she thought wryly, a cold grey  drizzle of a day.  However, this was the kind of day that Sam Cantrell had loved, so maybe it was right that the breeze be warm and the sun bright.

           The chickens began to cackle and the roosters to crow as the sun broke through the trees.  Kate sat up with a start.  How could she have forgotten!  After living on a ranch for so many years, she should have remembered that there were chores to be done.  Maybe Adam was right and she had become too citified.  Quickly she dressed in jeans and her oldes sweatshirt and slipped quietly from the house so as not to awaken her sister.

           “Hi guys,” she greeted the occupants of the chicken pen, bucket of feed in hand.  This had been her chore from the time she had first arrived at the ranch.  Kayla got the lambs and she got the hens, she remembered with a wry smile.  Whistling slightly off-key, she scattered the chicken feed, amused at the birds scrambled for their breakfast, then proceeded on to the lamb pen and the horse stalls.

           “Tomorrow I promise I’ll take you for a gallup.”  She told the horse in the final stall.  This was her own horse, given to her by her grandfather on her sixteenth birthday.  Nine years old now, Gabe was still the spirited black gelding she had adored.

           “He hasn’t been ridden in a couple of weeks, so he’ll be pretty frisky,” a familiar male voice warned with just a hint of amusement. 

           “You startled me!”  Kate whirled about and accused.  Crane gave her a maddening grin and shrugged.

           “I thought you knew that one of us would be coming over to do the chores.  We’ve been taking turns.  Today is mine.”  He explained.

           “You still startled me,” she told him sulkily, her lack of sleep making her grumpy.

           “What’s left to do?”  He ignored her peevishness and she was reminded of the many times he had glossed over her bad moods when they were youngsters.  Maybe that was why they had been such good friends as teenagers.  He tolerated just about everything she did or said.

           “Just to toss a couple of bales of hay into the paddock,” she replied to his question, realizing that he was not about to give her the satisfaction of an argument.

           “Have you and Kayla given any thought to what your future plans might be?”  Crane made nonchalant conversation as he helped her pull the hay bales from the loft and haul them to the paddock.

           “We’ve talked a little about it,” Kate admitted.  “Up ‘til now, we haven’t made any concrete plans.  We both have some commitments back in the city we have to decide about; Kayla is up for a part in a ballet and I have a few things cooking.  Right at this minute, I don’t even want to think about going back to San Francisco.”  She sighed heavily and raked her fingers through her long fall of shiny hair.

           “And I thought you’d become a real city girl,” Crane teased.  She glared at him.

           “How about some breakfast?”  She invited once the chores were completed.  Thanks to Crane’s relaxed manner, she finally began to feel at ease in his company.  “McFadden breakfast hour has long since passed.”  She added, glancing at her watch.

           “Don’t mind if I do,” he accepted.  “It’ll be a pleasant change to have a civilized meal.”  He settled his well-worn baseball cap on his head as they moved from the barn into the bright morning sunlight.

           “You mean Hannah hasn’t taught you guys manners yet?”  Kate demanded with a chuckle.  “I got the impression that she was a no-nonsense type of lady.”  She gave her companion a laughing glance from the corner of her eye.

           “There are some things only God can do,” Crane replied solemnly.  “And I think he’s given up on us in this case.”

           Inside the house, they moved about quietly upon discovering that Kayla was still asleep.  Crane began to prepare the coffee while Kate busied herself with the bacon and eggs.  It was a pleasant meal the two of them shared.  Kate refused to let her thoughts dwell on past happenings, or the ordeal that awaited her later this day, preferring to let Crane bring her up to date on the McFadden family and their continuous escapades.

           “I thought you had given that up,”  Crane accused when Kate lit a cigarette after finishing her meal. 

           “I have.  Any number of times,” she told him with a small shrug.  “This last time I lasted about four months, but this week was just too much,” she explained.  “I guess I don’t handle pressure very well.”

           “I wouldn’t say that,” he disagreed, a sudden unfathomable look entering his blue eyes.  Kate felt the easy comraderie they had shared slip away and found that she could no longer meet his gaze.

           “I don’t know what you mean.”  She was angry with herself for suddenly seeming so confused.  He raised a sandy eyebrow in reply.

           “I’m curious, Kate,” he said, his tone slightly cynical.  “Why didn’t you or Kayla ever come back?  San Francisco isn’t that far to come for a visit now and then.”  He’d put her on the spot and he knew it.

           “Things just didn’t work out so that we could,” she said lamely, searching frantically for a way out of this conversation.  How could she tell him that he was a big part of the reason they hadn’t returned before now.  “Grandad understood.”

           “He’s not asking the question.  I am.”  There was a hardness in Crane’s expression that Kate had never before seen, kindling the embers of her temper.

           “The only answer you’re going to get, Crane McFadden, is that I had my reasons.”  Her chin raised stubbornly, eyes blazing with anger, she wished she had enough nerve to throw something at him.

           “Good morning,” Kayla greeted sleepily, entering the kitchen before he could reply.  She seemed oblivious to the tension that fairly crackled between her sister and Crane.  “I think I slept in.”  She observed with a sheepish grin.

           “You’re entitled,” Kate said, forcing her anger behind a façade of calmness.  Kayla did not need to be drawn into this battle between herself and Crane.  “Would you like me to make you some breakfast?”  She offered.

           “Miracle of miracles!  This doesn’t happen very often.  Of course you can make me some breakfast,”  Kayla accepted teasingly, casting a conspiratorial wink towards Crane that did not go unnoticed by her twin. 

           “One egg or two?”  Kate asked dryly.

           “Well, I’d better be going.”  Crane got to his feet.  “I still have chores to do back at the Circle Bar Seven.  I’ll see you later, but if you need anything, call.”  This last was directed towards Kayla and once again, Kate firmly resisted the desire to throw the frying pan at his head.

           “Thanks, Crane.”  Kayla smiled prettily as he turned to leave.

           “No problem.”  He raised a hand in farewell and sauntered down the back path, heading towards the fields, oblivious to the glaring stare that followed him from the kitchen window. 

 

           Hannah wiped her eyes and took a deep breath to compose herself.  She was going to miss Sam Cantrell dreadfully; they had become close friends over the past two years.  The finality of the lowering of the coffin to its final resting place had brought home to her with a resounding thud that Sam Cantrell would no longer be there when she needed to talk to a non-McFadden.  There would be no more companionable cups of coffee in the late afternoon, no more laughing over the antics of a family of young men and no more Friday night old movie fests.  She took another deep breath.

           “You okay, honey?”  Adam asked solicitously, his own eyes suspiciously moist.  She smiled shakily up at this craggy face.

           “I’ll be fine,” she reassured him.  “I’m going to go and suggest to Kate and Kayla that they stay for supper at our place after the reading of the will.  Brian and Daniel are headed into town and Evan and Ford offered to take Guthrie over to Sonora for a burger and a movie, so it’s not as if there’ll be a crowd.”  She explained.

           “Good idea,” Adam agreed.  “Crane said that the lawyer has to have me and him there along with the girls.”  He shook his head in puzzlement.  “Crane’s up to something, I’m sure.  He knows more than he’s telling.”

           “He’ll tell you when he’s ready.  He always does, sooner or later.”  Hannah smiled at her husband’s mild indignance.  Adam always worried when he felt he should know something and he didn’t.  Leaving him to round up the McFadden contingent, she walked over to the Cantrell twins who were just saying goodbye to the minister.

           “Hi, Hannah.”  Kate greeted as she approached. 

           “How are you doing?”  Hannah asked, making note of Kayla’s red eyes and streaked mascara and the slight whiteness about the corners of Kate’s mouth.

           “We’ve seen better days,” Kate told her ruefully.  “I really wish we didn’t have to go through this stupid will-reading today,” she sighed.

           “Amen to that.”  Kayla echoed.

           “Once it’s done it’ll be over with,”  Hannah comforted.  “That’s what I came to talk to you about.”  She voiced her plan and was pleased when the sisters agreed.

           “We’ll just go home and change first, okay?”  Kayla sniffed rather inelegantly, which brought grins to all three faces.

           “So, we’ll see you in about an hour, then,”  Hannah gave each girl a quick hug and returned to her husband’s side.

           “All set?”  He asked, and she nodded.  “I wish I knew why I feel so apprehensive about this whole thing.”  He handed her into the family jeep, a frown creasing his forehead.  Hannah bit her lower lip thoughtfully.  Adam’s premonitions were usually valid.  Hopefully this time he was wrong.

 

           “Kate, I’ve made a decision.”  Kayla announced.  Her twin paused in the zipping up of her jeans and turned towards the bedroom doorway.

           “About?”  Kate was surprised at the determined look on her sister’s face.  The past four days had seen Kayla distressed and weepy-eyed.  This was actually a pleasant change. 

           “My future.”  Kayla entered the bedroom and settled on the bed, legs crossed under her, Indian-fashioned.  “I decided that I want to stay here.  I’m going back to San Francisco to finish out the run of my current production and then I’m coming back here.   I’ve faced the fact that I’m not quite good enough to be a prima ballerina and I think I might be able to run this place decently.”  She shrugged in the elegant manner that had always been hers.  “If you’d stay we’d have a much better chance of succeeding.  I don’t know that much about ranching, you know.  And I’d much rather have you with me than back in the city, but that’s a decision you’ll have to make.  It’s just that Grandad built this place up and I’m not going to be the one to lose it.”  Kayla’s voice was calm and steady as she spoke and Kate could not hide a smile.  Cantrell cussedness always seemed to come through when it was needed.

           “Well, kiddo, you sure sound positive about this,”  Kate checked her reflection in the mirror with a quick glance.  “I must admit I’ve been thinking along those same lines myself.”  She pulled her sister off  the bed and arm in arm they headed off downstairs.

           “And?”  Kayla urged her sister to continue with what she had been saying. 

           “And, I guess you’ve got the right idea,”  Kate admitted.  “I think Grandad would have wanted us to stay.”  She hugged her double in a sudden burst of affection.  “We’ll do it.”

           “Now, let’s go get this stupid will-reading over with.”  Kayla grinned and opened the front door, obviously feeling more lighthearted that she had for a while.  Kate followed more slowly.  She had not told her sister everything.  The fact that Brian McFadden was here, not in San Francisco, had helped her make her final decision.  She was not a teenager anymore and she was going to make him sit up and notice.

 

           “Would you mind repeating that in plain English?”  Kate stared at the lawyer, unable to believe what she had just heard.

           “Please, Mr. Hughes,” Kayla added, slightly more composed than her sister.

           “It is very simple, ladies,” the lawyer said in a dry, businesslike voice.  “All of Mr. Cantrell’s holdings are yours in actual fact.  However, for the next two years you are under the trusteeship of Adam and Crane McFadden.  The final condition of your inheritance is very simple.  You must remain on the ranch and work it for a profit or it reverts to the McFadden family.”  He spread his hands in finality.  “Is that clear enough for you, Miss Cantrell?”

           “Plenty clear.”  Kate was angry and did not choose to hide it.  “It means that we’re at the mercy of them.”  She jerked a thumb towards the silent brothers. “For two years!”

           “Kate, relax.”  Kayla laid a hand on her arm in an attempt to calm her.  “It does make some kind of sense when you stop to think about it.  Grandad didn’t know for sure if we’d want the ranch and if we did want it, he wanted to make sure it was what we wanted.  Do you follow me?”  She chuckled self-conciously, realizing the mangle her thoughts had become when put into words.

           “Listen, Kayla, I don’t need any watchdog checking my every move.  I know how to run a ranch, contrary to popular belief, it seems.”  She lit a cigarette in agitation.

           “Do I take that to mean that you want to stay up here?”  Adam asked quietly.

           “Unfortunately for you, yes!”  Kate glared at him.

           “I’m just as unhappy about this as you are,” he told her, obviously keeping a tight rein on his own considerable temper.

           “Well, there’s not much we can do about it, is there?”  Kayla stepped in to make peace.  “We’ll just have to make sure we turn a profit.  Every quarter, right Mr. Hughes?”  She smiled at the lawyer who was busy repacking his briefcase.

           “That’s right,” he confirmed, then looked over at Kate.  “Miss Cantrell, would you walk to my car with me?”  He asked politely.  She sighed and nodded.

            “Thank you, Stan.”  Crane spoke for the first time since the reading of the will.  Adam and Kayla echoed him, Adam shaking his hand with a rueful smile.

           “I’ll be in touch with you about the paperwork and all the other formalities,” the lawyer said, taking his leave, a silently raging Kate at his side.

           “There is one more thing, Miss Cantrell,” he said when they reached the end of the walkway and his car.    “A codicil, a postscript, to your grandfather’s will that he wanted only you to be aware of.”

           “What else could there possibly be?  Everything seems pretty cut and dried to me,” she fumed.

           “The codicil states that should either you or your sister marry within the next two years, the clause concerning the loss of the ranch would be null and void.  The trusteeship however, is iron-clad.  Nothing changes that.”

           “What in God’s name was Grandad thinking about!”  Kate demanded in despair.

           “I imagine the future of his granddaughters,” Stan Hughes offered wryly.  “He instructed that only you be made aware of the final codicil.  In speaking with him about it, he seemed to be of the opinion that you could handle it better than your sister.  At the time she was involved with someone not of his liking, I understand.  He wished no headstrong decision on her part,” he explained.

           “So he made one of his own!  Wonderful!”  Kate threw her hands up in exasperation.

           “If you need me for anything, here is my card.  Feel free to call at any time.”  He tipped his hat and climbed into the car.  Kate watched as he gunned the engine to life and drove down the dirt roadway that led from the McFadden ranch house to the highway, then turned on her heel and walked slowly back inside.

           “Katy, you okay?”  Kayla asked, meeting her just inside the door, a concerned look on her face.

           “I’m furious!”  Came the hissed reply.

           “Kate, I’ll say it again, I’m just as upset about this as you are,” Adam said reasonably.  “It never crossed my mind that Sam would do something like this, but as Kayla said, it does make some sense.”

           “Maybe, Adam, maybe.  But that doesn’t mean I have to like it, does it?”  Kate demanded.  She took a deep breath in an effort to calm her jumbled and turmoiled thoughts.

           “Kate would you like a drink?”  Hannah emerged from the kitchen, drying her hands on a dish towel.

           “That I would.”  Kate smiled gratefully, her unruly emotions finally coming under control.

           “I figured as much.  Kayla?  Guys?”  She glanced around the room, her calm manner easing the tension in the air. 

 

           Kate leaned against the porch railing and gazed out over the rolling pastures that lay between the Circle Bar Seven and the Cantrell ranch.  If she weren’t careful, one day it could all be Circle Bar Seven land.  She wished she knew what had gone on in her grandfather’s mind when he had this will drawn up.  She might feel differently about the conditions of the will if she didn’t sense disapproval from both Adam and Crane.

           “Beautiful sunset, isn’t it?”  Hannah’s question broke into her revery. 

           “They always are,” Kate replied with a small smile as the dark-haired girl came to stand next to her.  All through supper, Hannah had endeavoured to keep the conversation on an even keel, striving to keep away from the subject of Sam Cantrell and his will.  She had realized that it wouldn’t take much to set either Kate or Adam off and did her best to forestall any more arguments or accusations.  For that, Kate had been grateful.  She really disliked losing her temper in public. 

           “You know, Kate, your grandfather and I had become pretty good friends since I married Adam,”  Hannah began tentatively.

           “He wrote quite often about you,” Kate told her.  “I think you reminded him of my grandmother.  I never knew her, but in some pictures I’ve seen, there is a definite physical resemblance.”

           “I never knew that,” Hannah marveled in a soft voice.  “I’m flattered.”  She was silent for a long moment, as if she were reliving some special time, then with a small sigh, returned to her original line of thought.  “What I wanted to say, Kate, was that Sam never intended for you and Kayla to be hurt.  He never told me about the will or any of that, but I do know he only wanted what was best for the two of you.   Every time one of you appeared on TV, he’d be glued to the set and when you’d get a new job, he was always so proud.”  She laid a hand on Kate’s shoulder.  “I just wanted you to know that he never condemned you and Kayla for not coming back.  He loved you both dearly and whatever you did was fine by him.”

           “Oh, Hannah!  Do you have any idea how guilty I’ve felt?  Kayla wouldn’t come home unless I did and something always seemed to come up so that we couldn’t.  I miss him so much and I just wish I could tell him one more time how much I love him!”  The tears that she had denied herself throughout  the past days coursed down Kate’s cheeks, Hannah’s kindness breaking down the barrier she had erected around her grief.  After all the shocks she had received, it was only natural that she finally give in with her characteristically volatile way. 

           “C’mon, let’s take a walk,” Hannah suggested, slipping an arm about the sobbing girl’s shoulders and guiding her down the porch steps. 

 

 

Chapter Three

           “You’ve been awfully quiet this evening,”  Crane commented, refilling Kate’s after-dinner coffee.  Hannah and Kayla were busy cleaning up in the kitchen and Adam in the barn doing the last of the chores, leaving the two of them alone in the McFadden living room.

           “I’ve had a lot to think about,” she told him, her tone cool.  He raised a sandy eyebrow in reply and sank onto the sofa.

           “Come to any conclusions?”  He asked, tone bland.  He was giving nothing away by voice or actions.  Again, Kate began to feel confused.  This was a Crane McFadden she didn’t know.

           “You knew about this, didn’t you?”  She accused suddenly, a light dawning in her mind.  “Grandad told you about what he was going to do.”  She watched him for a reaction, but was disappointed.  His calm would not be ruffled.

           “He did speak to me about it.  Asked my opinion as a matter of fact,” he admitted easily.

           “And what did you tell him?  That it was a good idea, I suppose.”  Kate could not keep the resentment from her tone.

           “Actually, I told him I thought he was carrying the whole thing a bit too far.  You and Kayla don’t need babysitters.  As I remembered, you don’t take kindly to being watch-dogged.”  He smiled in wry amusement.

           “So why did he do it?”  She demanded.

           “You know as well as I do, Kate, that your grandfather always did exactly what he wanted to and damn the consequences.  Sort of like his granddaughter,” he chuckled.  “He used to ask me to help him with his paperwork and give him some financial advice.  Advice that he chose to take or ignore depending on his current mood.  I guess he had his own reasons for drawing up his will the way he did and we’ll probably never know them.”  He shrugged and sipped at his coffee, watching her over the rim of his mug with an unwavering blue gaze.

           “I just wish…”  Kate let her words trail off and stared into the fire that burned cheerily in the stone fireplace.

           “Remember what my mom always used to say,” Crane grinned.  “If wishes were fishes, pigs might fly.”

           “She had me looking for flying pigs for months.”  Kate told him, suddenly brightening.  As usual, her mood changes were swift and sudden, mercurial, leaving the unwary breathless and at times confused.  “Kayla and I even checked all the pigs in the barnyard for wings.  We had so many wishes to wish at that age.”  She shook her head ruefully at the memory of two small girls searching for imaginary creatures.

           “I don’t think we ever outgrow wishing,”  Crane observed thoughtfully as the front door opened.

           “I just wish Guthrie would learn to put things away in the tack room,”  Adam declared, entering the house.  Kate and Crane exchanged glances and burst out laughing.  “What did I say?”  Adam’s expression was a picture of puzzlement.

           “It’s good to hear laughter,”  Hannah said, coming in from the kitchen with Kayla.

           “At least we know that there’s been no blood shed in our absence,”  Kayla offered wryly, much to everyone’s surprise.  One just didn’t expect the quieter of the twins to make remarks of that sort.  “Well,”  she defended herself, “I remember a certain argument over a baseball mitt that had Crane ending up with a bloody nose and Kate with a black eye!”  She grinned smugly.

           “Crane McFadden, do you mean to tell me that you actually hit a girl?”  Hannah demanded incredulously.  The idea of gentlemanly Crane doing such a thing was absurd to her.

           “I was all of eight years old, Hannah,” Crane said, unable to hide the blush that crept up his cheeks, much to Kate’s delight.

           “And I ended up with the mitt, didn’t I?”  She reminded him, only to embarrass him further.

           “And Crane ended up not being able to sit down for a week after Dad heard about it,”  Adam added amusedly.

           “Well, she asked for it!”  Crane protested, then began to laugh, sinking lower into the sofa as he did so.  “But I did get her back for that.  Remember the peanut butter sandwich filled with chili peppers?”

           “It was a long time before I’d even look at peanut butter again,”  Kate agreed, laughing along with him.

           “They were terrible to each other,”  Kayla told Hannah.  “All-out warfare.  But just let anyone else try and pull something on one or the other.  Talk about closing ranks!  Crane and Kate would take on all comers and win more times than not.”  She shook her head wryly at the memory.

           “That’s what best friends are for,”  Kate explained, and met Crane’s suddenly serious gaze.  They weren’t children anymore, and there was more between them than a baseball mitt and a doctored peanut butter sandwich now.  They had come a long way from those carefree childhood days, and somehow she didn’t think they would ever again share the closeness they once had.  It was a sobering and somehow sad thought.

 

           “Are you going to be okay up here for the next little while?”  Kayla asked her sister a few days later as they stood in front of the General Store in Murphys waiting for the bus into San Francisco.  The younger girl was headed back into the city to fulfill her commitment to the ballet company that had hired her as a featured performer for the run of their current production.  The run would be over in a little over two months, at which time she would return to Carbon County and take on her share of the ranch responsibilities.  That she was worried about leaving Kate alone in such a volatile situation went without saying.  She knew Kate’s temper all too well.

           “I promise I’ll count to ten whenever I think I’m going to explode,”  Kate grinned.  “And I won’t pick fights with Adam or Crane unless I have to.”

           “Don’t pick fights with them at all.”  Kayla ordered with an exasperated sigh.  It wouldn’t surprise her if Kate actually enjoyed her arguments with the McFadden brothers, and there had been many in the past few days.  If it wasn’t about the horses, it was about the repairs the barn needed.  If it wasn’t about Kate’s capabilities to make decisions on her own concerning the ranch, it was about McFadden pigheadedness.

           “Here comes your bus!”  Kate pointed down the street and the subject of arguments was quickly forgotten.

           “I’m going to miss you!”  Kayla told her sister, eyes misting over in spite of herself.

           “You’ll be back in no time, you’ll see.”  Kate assured her, enfolding her in a hug that threatened to strangle both girls.  There was not time for further emotionalism as the bus arrived and Kayla prepared to board.  She gave her twin one final, swift hug and climbed into the bus, Kate’s admonishments to take care of herself ringing in her ears.  She only wished that someone could take care of Kate while she was in the city.  Who knew what mischief she could her into on her own?  As she settled into her seat for the long ride, she found herself feeling sorry for Adam and Crane.  They would have to deal with Kate on their own for the next little while, and she was willing to bet that it wasn’t going to be easy.  Reluctantly, she waved good-bye to her sister as the bus pulled away.  It was going to be a long two months.

 

           After seeing Kayla off, Kate acknowledged that she was feeling lonely and somewhat depressed.  She was really going to miss her sister.  Kayla was her other half; the half that always thought before speaking; the half that never made snap judgements; the half that could keep her temper under control; her thinking half.  Or, as Grandad used to say, “Katy is the blazing campfire and Kayla the moonlight that shines down on it.”  Yes, she was going to miss Kayla, a lot.

           Thinking to cheer herself up a little, she decided to treat herself to a late lunch over at Murphys Hotel.  Foregoing the dining room, she opted instead to have a hamburger and a beer in the bar.  Hands thrust deep in her jeans pockets, she presented a dejected picture as she entered the bar.

           “Hey Kate!”  Daniel McFadden’s voice startled her out of her revery.

           “Hi, guys,” she greeted, going to the table he shared with Brian.  Even the sight of Brian could not bring her completely out of her doldrums. It helped, but it did not cure.

           “What’s the matter, kiddo?  You look pretty down in the dumps.”  Brian pulled her into a chair between him and Daniel and motioned for the waitress to bring over another beer.

           “I just put Kayla on the bus for San Francisco and I feel sorta lost,”  Kate admitted, her cheeks colouring in embarrassment.  “So, I thought I’d come in here for a bite to eat before heading home.”

           “That was our idea too.”  Daniel told her.  “We were doing some errands for Hannah and got hungry.”  He chuckled.  “Of course, we get hungry doing most everything.”

           “I seem to remember that from the old days,”  Kate agreed.  As always, she had become totally aware of the man who sat beside her.  It just wasn’t natural the way Brian could make his mere presence felt by just sitting there.  She endeavoured to concentrate fully on the tale Daniel was telling about his memories of long ago, but part of her mind was consumed with thoughts of Brian.  The way his blue eyes would flash when he was issued a challenge, his cocky grin, the gentleness he had shown with his younger brothers when they were little.

           After finishing his meal, Daniel excused himself and disappeared to meet up with his band.  They were to perform at the dance the week after, and they still needed a lot more rehearsing, he explained.  Kate was not sure if she should be thankful that he had left her alone with Brian, or scared at being one on one with the man who occupied so much of her thoughts.

           “Have you come to accept the terms of Sam’s will at all?  After having time to think about it, I mean?”  Brian asked when they had each been served a fresh beer.

           “Accept it?”  She gave him a startled emerald look.  “No, I can’t honestly say that I’ve accepted it at all.  It still makes me mad every time I think about it, but I think I can try and live with it.” She shrugged and lit a cigarette, much to his amusement.  “Of course, as long as we keep the ranch in the black we don’t have a problem, do we?”  Sarcasm was apparent in her tone of voice.

           “Kate, you know that Adam and Crane only want to help you,” he reasoned.  He had been present at more than one of her set-tos with his brothers.  “You can’t honestly think that they’d plan to take the ranch away from you and Kayla?”  He demanded when she hesitated.

           “Oh, of course not,” she said hastily.  “Brian, you know me.  I just don’t like being told what to do.  Especially by your brothers.”  She sighed heavily.  “Some things don’t change over the years, do they?” 

           “No, they don’t,” he agreed.  “Just try and remember that Adam and Crane only have your best interests at heart.  Sam wanted things this way, and I guess he had his reasons.  I also don’t think that we should question them.”  He fixed his McFadden blue gaze on her and her stomach began to flutter uncontrollably.

           “Look, can we drop the subject?  It’s still a pretty tender one with me right now.”  She smiled hesitantly at him and was relieved when he smiled back.

           “So, tell me about this mare you want to breed.  The one Adam and Crane aren’t so sure about.”  He changed the subject to one less touchy.  “I’ll give you the professional opinion,” he grinned. 

 

 

Chapter 4

           “Kate, we have to talk.”  Crane’s face was set in uncompromising lines, and she knew she was not going to be able to side step this one.

           “Come on in, I’ll fix some coffee.  Even if you don’t want any, I think I’m going to need it.”  She motioned him into the house.  In the past week and a half, she had been able to avoid open confrontations with both Crane and Adam by using any excuse she could.  She was trying her best to fulfill the promise she had made to Kayla the day of her twin’s departure, but it was getting harder with every passing day.

           “Okay, Crane, tell me what’s on your mind.  I think I’m ready.”  Kate lit a cigarette and leaned back in her chair at the kitchen table.  Something was definitely amiss.  She could tell by the way he refused to meet her gaze directly and the fashion with which he toyed with the full coffee mug in front of him.

           “We have a problem.”  He stated after a moment.

           “Tell me something I don’t know,” she said wryly.  He shook his head slowly, and her heart jumped to her throat.  This was serious.  “What.”  Her voice was not much above a whisper.

           “There’s no easy way to say this.”  He sighed in obvious regret.  “Katy, there’s no way the Bar C is going to make a profit this coming quarter.”  Each word was like a physical blow to the Cantrell girl.  Her worst nightmare had come true.

           “Are you sure, Crane?”  For once she had no desire to battle him.  Finally he met her eyes across the table and she saw sympathy and concern in their blue depths.

           “I’ve looked at everything in every possible way and some ways that aren’t possible and I can’t see any way around it.”  He took a sip of his coffee before continuing.  “It seems as if your grandfather made some long-term investments that took up most of the working capital.  There won’t be any return on them for a while, unfortunately.  From what I can gather, Sam expected to run in the red for a few months,” he explained in a business-like yet gentle voice.

           “I guess he just didn’t expect to die,” Kate said hopelessly.  “Damn it, Crane!  Isn’t there anything we can do?”  She dragged one her cigarette angrily.  It just wasn’t fair!  Nothing was going right for herself and Kayla.  She fought back tears of anger and frustration.

           “I spoke to the lawyer this afternoon,” Crane told her.  “The will is pretty specific.”

           “So, Kayla and I lose the ranch to you.”  In spite of her iron control, two tears slipped from the corners of her eyes and rolled down her pale cheeks.  “Unless…” She stopped the thought before it could be completed.  There was about as much hope of her or Kayla getting married within the next month and a half as there was of Christmas coming in July!

           “Katy, do you really want to stay up here and settle down?  Are you certain it’s what you want?”  His eyes fairly bore into her as he asked the questions.  She nodded firmly.

           “Positive.  Can you doubt it after the past weeks?”

           “Well then,” he took a deep breath. “If you were to marry, you wouldn’t lose the ranch.”

           “And just who am I supposed to marry?”  She demanded hopelessly and reached to light a fresh cigarette.  His hand reached out and stopped her.

           “Me.”

 

           “Crane, I don’t think that’s a very funny joke.”  Kate pulled her hand away from his angrily and lit the cigarette.  Her eyes fairly spit green fire as she glared at him in a cold fury.  How dare he!

           “I wasn’t joking,” he told her, quietly serious.  “I meant what I said.”

           “Are you completely off your rocker?”  Kate could not believe that he was actually serious about this.  Of all people, he was the last person to indulge in a crazy idea like marriage.

           “Think about it logically,” he urged calmly.

           “Logically!”  She exclaimed, not in the least calm.  “You sound like goddam Mr. Spock from Star Trek!  People don’t get married because it’s logical, you know!”

           “There aren’t too many people in your position, are there?”  He countered and she fell silent.  He did have a point.  She bit her lip anxiously as he continued to explain.  “I haven’t lost my mind, so stop looking at me like that.  The only way that you and Kayla can keep the ranch as things stand now, is for one of you to get married.  Agreed?  Good.  Now, I know that Kayla hasn’t got the first idea that such a condition even exists, thanks to Sam’s machinations.  Therefore, the responsibility for doing something about the situation rests entirely with you.”  He got to his feet and poured himself another cup of coffee, refilling hers as well at her nod.

           “That still doesn’t explain why you decided to offer yourself up on the sacrificial altar, as it were,” Kate observed.  “Think about it.  Us married?  We can’t even stop arguing for a day at a time!  And the most important thing, Crane.  We don’t love each other.”  This last was stated with quiet finality.  He looked at her for a long moment, then sighed deeply, shaking his sandy head regretfully.

           “Kate, I came to the conclusion a long time ago, that marriages such as my parents’ and Adam and Hannah’s don’t come along every day.  They are in fact rare.  The most anyone can hope for in this day and age is companionship and mutual respect.  That I think we can achieve one way or another.”  He gave her a small smile that was meant to reassure but failed.

           “Since when did you develop this pessimistic view of life?  You certainly don’t sound like a McFadden.”  She lifted a quizzical eyebrow.

           “Life experiences tend to temper one’s view of life as well as one’s expectations of said life.”  He told her wryly.

           “What about a family?  Surely you’d expect to have one?  You can’t be that pessimistic about life.  That I won’t believe,” she said pointedly.  Crane’s eyes caught her gaze as he looked up swiftly from studying the depths of his coffee cup.

           “I’ve thought about that,” he admitted, his expression suddenly closed and somehow became more forbidding in its stoniness.

           “Well, that’s a relief,” Kate said hastily, not liking this turn of conversation at all.  It brought back all too many memories for comfort.

           “Okay, look.  This is how I see it.  You’re in danger of losing the ranch.  The only way out is for you to get married.  I made my offer.  If you accept, I think we could be reasonably happy with a little work.  At any rate, if you do accept, then we have to make it look like it’s the real thing.  Even to our families.  See, there’s this little thing known as fraud that we really don’t want to get involved in.  You think it over and let me know what you decide sometime tomorrow.   The way I see it, if we’re going to go through with it, the best place to begin is the dance tomorrow night.  How does that sit with you?”  Crane was totally businesslike now, and it confused Kate.  In fact, this whole think confused Kate.

           “It doesn’t sit very well, if you want the truth,” she said with a trace of belligerence.

           “Do me a favour, and just think about it for a while,” he urged, his impatience with her becoming obvious.  “I’m going to head home now.  I don’t really think there’s any more to discuss.  You’ve got my offer.  Please think about it calmly and logically.”

           “Yeah, calmly and logically,” she echoed, following him to the front door.  “Crane, I must admit, you have a hell of a way to liven up a boring evening,” she commented ruefully.

           “Just think seriously about it,” he repeated and opened the door.  “I’ll talk to you tomorrow.”  He smiled briefly and tightly, then was gone.

           “Dear God, Crane, I wish I knew what was going on in your mind,” she sighed, closing the door behind him.  “Marriage!”

 

           Sleeping was impossible.  No matter how hard she tried, Kate could not seem to find a comfortable position that was conducive to achieving that desired state.  All that Crane had said kept running through her mind, and oddly enough, each time it did, it began to make some kind of warped sense.

           The bottom line was that they were going to lose the ranch, and through no fault of hers or Kayla’s.  And she did not want to lose the ranch.  It had been her grandfather’s dream to have his granddaughters return to the ranch he had built up and settle down.  She couldn’t just let that dream die!  Grandad had left it up to her.  She was the one to whom that damned codicil had been directed, not Kayla.  He had been counting on her to make the right decision for herself and her sister.  Kayla was so looking forward to returning to the ranch once her stint with the ballet company was completed, and Kate could not deny her that.

           As she stared up at the ceiling through the moonlight, she racked her brain in an effort to figure out why Crane had made that out-of-left-field proposal of marriage.  His claim that he couldn’t expect anything more than the type of marriage he described didn’t quite ring true with Kate.  She thought she knew him better than that.  No McFadden would ever settle for second best, of that she was certain.  Surely it couldn’t be because he wanted to help her out, but then again, maybe he felt responsible for the position she found herself in.  It was his family that would inherit the ranch, something they didn’t want, they claimed, so maybe it was his way of making restitution?  That didn’t make any sense at all, she decided.

           What would marriage to Crane be like, she found herself wondering.  They would probably fight from sunup to sundown and then have another go around just for the hell of it.  The idea of it made her chuckle into the darkness.  On the other hand, there had been a time when they had been close, despite the fighting.  If only she had never been so foolish as to fall in love with Brian and run off to Crane when she had been rejected, they might have had a chance.  Now, she didn’t think there was a hope in hell.  But he did.  Why?  It was almost worth saying yes just to figure that out, never mind that she would be saving the ranch.

           “What am I going to do?”  She whispered helplessly, rolling over and clutching her pillow to her, tears sliding down her cheeks.  If only it were Brian instead of Crane.  If only Grandad hadn’t made those investments.  If only he hadn’t died.  If only, if only, if only!  Her thoughts were full of if onlys which deep down inside she knew were worthless.  As Mrs. McFadden had been fond of saying: ‘If wishes were fishes…’.   Unfortunately, there was no such thing as a flying pig.

 

           It was later than usual when Kate finally sat down at the kitchen table for her breakfast.  Due to her insomnia the night before, when she had finally fallen asleep, it had been deeply and she had slept right through her alarm.  Consequently, the chores were late as was her morning meal.  Not a good start to the day.

           In the early morning hours, Kate had come to a decision.  It had been a tough one to make, but after much agonizing thought and reflection, it was the only way out she could think of.  Now, she just had to find a way to break the news to Crane.  Glumly, she pushed away the remains of her half-eaten breakfast and lit a cigarette.  She had absolutely no appetite.

           “Kathleen Cantrell,” she said aloud, getting up to put her dirty plates in the sink,  “you have an absolute talent for getting yourself into situations that any normal person would run from screaming.”  She sighed in self-disgust and turned to gaze through the window at the sunny morning.  Well, it certainly looked like she wasn’t going to  have to wait any longer to inform Crane of her decision, for he was just disembarking from the jeep.

           “I didn’t expect to see you quite so early today,” she greeted, opening the screen door for him to enter.

           “I promised Daniel I’d help him set up this afternoon,” he explained with a small smile.  “Besides, the quicker this is settled, the better it will be for both of us.”  He gave her a look that spoke volumes of quiet determination.

           “Can I get you a cup of coffee?”  She asked, suddenly unsure of herself despite her earlier decisiveness.  Something deep in his blue eyes made it hard for her to remain firm.

           “I wouldn’t mind a cup,” he accepted, slipping into the same chair he had occupied the night before.

           “I know it’s probably a dumb question, but I suppose nothing has changed since last night?”  Kate asked hopefully as she poured out two mugs of coffee.

           “Sorry Katy, can’t say that it has,” he replied sympathetically.  She looked closely at him and shook her head in slight disbelief. 

           “Crane, there’s something I don’t understand about this whole thing.  It’s not only my life that’s going to be thrown into total chaos, to expect the best, but yours too.  Yet you seem to be totally unconcerned about the whole thing and how it’s going to affect your life.  You’re bizarre, Crane,” she accused with a slight chuckle.

           “Thank you very much,” he returned wryly.

           “Why Crane?  Why all the concern for me and none for yourself?”  She stubbed out her cigarette and waited for a clear answer.

           “I don’t have anything to be concerned about.  I came to my decision and can live with it.  How about you?  Come to a decision?”  He sipped at his coffee and watched her over the brim of the mug.

           “Yeah, I guess I have,” she admitted with a sigh.  “But there’s one thing we have to make real clear.”  She bit her lower lip nervously and a blush rose to tint her cheeks an attractive pink.

           “And what would that be?”  He pushed his baseball cap higher on his head and rested his chin on his clenched fist.

           “Well,” she began hesitantly.  “It’s just that, well, if you’re ready to screw up your life by marrying me…well, that’s an awfully big sacrifice.  And I don’t think you should be denied one of the things that I know means a lot to you.”  She was beet red by this time, and lit another cigarette in her nervousness.

           “What’s that?”  He asked, eyebrows raised.

           “A family,” she said softly, unable to meet his gaze.  He began to speak, but she silenced him with a wave of her hand.  “I know it’s going to be hard going, Crane, and I really wish that we could come up with another way.  But, the way I figure it, either we go it the whole way, or we don’t take the plunge at all.  I won’t do things by half.”  She finished firmly, eyes blazing and chin lifted defiantly.

           “Katy, you’re going to make a wonderful McFadden with an attitude like that.”  He smiled.

           “Well, that’s one thing I have in my favour.”  Kate quipped with a slight giggle betraying her tension.

           “Katy, there are a lot of things in your favour that you haven’t even discovered yet,” he told her seriously.  “Now let’s get down to making a game plan for tonight.”

           “Right.”  She agreed, appreciative of his businesslike attitude.  “Tell me one thing before we start.”

           “Sure will.”  He finished his coffee and got up to pour himself another.

           “How come you call me Katy so often?  You haven’t done that since we were kids in grade school.”  It had been bothering her ever since she had returned to the mountains.

           “Because everyone calls you Kate,” he answered and nothing she could say would make him admit to anything more.

 

 

............. Chapter 5

           “Hannah, will you kindly tell me something about women that I have yet to figure out?”  Adam slid into the chair beside his wife, looking terribly perplexed, his eyebrows knitted together in a pensive frown.

           “I’ll try, but only if you tell me what woman has you so worried about her,”  Hannah replied with an amused smile, turning away from the dance floor she had been watching with interest.

           “Well, it’s Kate.”  Adam admitted.

           “I should have guessed.  What has she or hasn’t she done this time?”  Hannah was getting used to her husband’s soliloquies on the subject of the unfathomable Kate Cantrell.

           “Have you been watching her at all tonight?”  At her shrug, he motioned towards the area where the girl in question stood in close conversation with Crane.  “This has been going on ever since they got here.  I just don’t understand it.  Two days ago they were at each other’s throats!”  His brown eyes were filled with bewilderment at the strange behavior being exhibited by Kate and his brother.

           “Maybe they called a truce?”  Hannah suggested.

           “Get serious, will you?  Ever since that girl returned to Carbon County the only person higher on her hate list than Crane has been me.  Normal people don’t go through such a radical change in a matter of a few hours.  I mean…good grief!” He stopped in mid-sentence, his face an image of shock.

           “What?”  Hannah followed his gaze, her own eyes widening into two pale blue pools of surprise.  “Heavens!  He just kissed her, didn’t he?  And she let him!  You’re right, something is definitely puzzling about her behavior.” She began to chuckle in amusement.

           “I’m glad you find it so funny,”  Adam said sulkily.  “Personally, I’m worried.  Do you think we’re seeing the start of something serious?”  The thought seemed to dismay him somewhat, and he wasn’t certain why.  Something just wasn’t right about the whole thing.

           “Is it our business?”  Hannah countered, once she had recovered her habitual aplomb.  “From what I understood, they had always been good friends before the girls left for the city.  Isn’t it only natural that they drift back together now, considering the circumstances?  One kiss does not a long-term relationship make,” she offered philosophically.  “Besides, it’s a woman’s perogative to change her mind about things.  Maybe Kate finally realized that Crane isn’t the enemy she thinks.”  She shrugged, willing to forget the whole subject.

           “Wonderful!”  Adam sighed ruefully, laughter dancing in his brown eyes.  “I guess that leaves me all alone on the black list.”

           “You can handle it,” Hannah assured him with a wicked little smile.  “You’re a big strong boy.  Now come on, Daniel’s playing our song, and I would like to get romantic with you.”  She got to her feet and pulled him to his.  With a smile that she knew all too well, he drew her into his embrace and they moved onto the dance floor, all thoughts of Kate and Crane disappearing from their minds.

 

           “It looks like we have Adam all worried about us,” Kate observed a little shakily.  She was not about to admit, even to herself, that the one small kiss he had just bestowed upon her had done strange things to her equilibrium.

           “He likes to worry,” Crane chuckled, not noticing her distress, if distress was the proper word to use.  “It makes him feel needed, I think.”

           “Crane, are you sure this is going to work?”  For not the first time that day, she was struck with a myriad of misgivings about this whole cock-eyed plan they had concocted.  She agreed with Crane, however, that if his family or Kayla had any idea of what really was going on, they would be so upset that the whole idea of the marriage would go down the drain.

           “Trust me.”  He replied with assurance.

           “Yeah, right,” she sighed and cast her gaze out around the large dance hall until it fell upon Brian who was surrounded by a group of his friends, most of whom were female, she noticed sourly.  They could have been so good together, if he’d given them half a chance.  But, she couldn’t think about that.  It was to Crane she owed her loyalty now.  After all, she intended to marry the man.  But that did not stop her from wishing that things could have been different.

           “Daniel’s band is pretty good, isn’t it?”  She decided that it was high time that they got onto a safer and much less worrisome subject.

           “He wants to make a career out of it,” Crane replied, obviously content to let her lead the conversation where she wanted.  “Adam’s not too crazy about the idea, but I think he’ll do alright.”

           “If Adam had his way, I’m sure that every last one of you would stay on the ranch until you were old, grey and ready for a rocking chair,”  Kate chuckled wryly.  “Your brother can be awfully overbearing about things like that.”

           “It comes from trying to raise the family single-handedly.  He only wants what’s right for all of us, so you can’t fault him for getting carried away sometimes.  I’ve learned to work around it over the years.”  He grinned, almost smugly.

           “Yes, you have become quite devious over the years,”  Kate accused teasingly.  They both fell silent, their attention turned towards the activity that surrounded them, and Kate found herself wondering why her attitude towards him kept changing with every passing minute.  She was either angry at him, puzzled by him, amused by him or attracted to him.  It confused her, and she didn’t like that feeling one bit.  Was the rest of her life going to be in such an upheaval?  Why had she ever agreed to go along with this crazy scheme?  Because of the ranch and hers and Kayla’s dreams for it, she reminded herself.  It was the only way out. 

           “Hey Kate, come on and dance with me!”  Evan urged, appearing in front of her seemingly out of nowhere.  It was obvious that he was having a great time, for his face was wreathed in smiles, his eyes dancing with merriment.

           “Sure will!”  She accepted instantly.  She loved to dance, and had not had a chance to in the past weeks since leaving the city.  Taking his extended hand, she let him spin her out onto the dance floor and promptly forgot about all the trials and tribulations that were facing her.  When she danced, all else faded from her mind, to be replaced by the sound of the music and the feel of her body moving in perfect conjunction with it.

           “You’re awfully good,”  Evan commented breathlessly when the song was over.

           “I did make my living at it.”  Kate reminded him with a chuckle.  “And besides, having a good partner helps immensely.” She had been pleasantly surprised by his abilities on the dance floor.  “I had no idea that there was a dancer in the McFadden family.”

           “We all have hidden talents,”  the teenager laughed, pleased by the praise.  “Shall we have another go-round?”  He asked as the band struck up a new song.

           “You bet!”  She accepted enthusiastically, too much aware of a certain pair of blue eyes that was following her every move.  It did fall into the plan, she supposed, but that did not stop her from feeling very self-concious.  What had she let herself in for?

           In spite of everything, Kate had to admit, by the time the evening was over, she had enjoyed herself.  The dance had brought back many memories of her teenage years, most of them good.  And dancing with Evan had been fun. More than she expected.  She really had missed her dancing and it had been a joy to indulge again.

           “You look happy, Kate,”  Hannah commented as the band prepared for the last song of the night.

           “I am,” the redhead responded with a quick grin. She liked Hannah and sensed that over the coming months the could become good friends.  She began to say something to the McFadden girl, but was stopped by a hand on her shoulder.  She looked up into Crane’s smiling face.

           “It’s the last dance,” he informed her. “Let’s go.”  His eyes twinkled with suppressed merriment.

           “Crane, you are so charming when you choose to be.”  Hannah teased as Kate gave him an exasperated look.  He only grinned wider in response and led his chosen partner out onto the dance floor.

           “Sometimes I could really smack you hard!”  Kate told him, not certain whether to be angry or amused.

           “I know.  You’ve done it on occasion,” he reminded her with a lift of one sandy eyebrow.  “And probably will again,” he added ruefully.

           “With just cause!”  She retorted, then fell silent as his arm went around her and they began to dance.  Once again, she was filled with conflicting emotions.  Inexplicably, she was drawn to him while resenting his very touch.  It must have to do with the formidable McFadden charm he and all his brothers possessed, she decided.  If only it were Brian, she thought longingly, her gaze wandering over to the subject of her thoughts.  She would gladly have switched places with the pretty blonde he had such a good hold on.  Gladly.

           “Katy, look at me.”  Crane commented suddenly, breaking her train of thought.  Surprised, she looked up and a moment later found herself being thouroughly kissed.  “Good girl.”  He observed, releasing her after what seemed an eternity.  “That ought to set a few minds to working overtime.”  He grinned, pleased with himself.

           “Right,” she agreed, a trifle breathlessly.  Including mine, she thought silently.

 

           “Kate, what’s going on back there?”  Kayla’s voice demanded, remarkably clear over the long distance line.  Kate felt as if her twin was sitting right next to her and could imagine the perplexed look in the face that was so much like hers.

           “What are you talking about?” She answered the question with one of her own.

           “Brian called the other day and said that something was going on between you and Crane.  I want to know what you’re getting yourself into!”  Kayla was firm, and Kate knew she would not rest until she knew exactly what was going on.  Still, she tried to hedge.

           “I didn’t know that Brian was in the habit of calling you,” she said, unable to ignore the small stab of pain that shot through her.

           “He’s not, he usually writes about once a week,” Kayla said impatiently.   “Now what’s going on?”  She demanded once again.  Kate’s heart sank.  Brian was writing Kayla regularly.  Whatever hope she had held that he might notice her one of these days died a painful death.  She was still little Kate Cantrell, a close friend, almost a kid sister.  She realized at that moment that there was not a chance of her love for him being reciprocated, and that she had done the right thing in accepting Crane’s unorthodox proposal.

           “Well,” she took a deep breath and willed away the tears that threatened.  She had to be careful.  No one knew her as well as her twin sister did, and Kayla would be quick to spot anything that did not sound sincere.

            “Will you spit it out!  This is long distance,” Kayla reminded, exasperation edging her tone. 

            “Well, Crane and I have been seeing a lot of each other lately.  What with the ranch and all, you know how it is.  Ever since the dance a couple of weeks ago, I sort of began to notice him in a different light,” she explained, hoping she sounded sincere enough to fool Kayla.  “We always were close as kids, you know.”  She took a deep breath.  This was going to be the hardest of all.  “Aylie,” she said, using the baby name for her sister she hand not used in years.  “I think I might be falling in love with him.”  There, she had said it, and a bolt of lightning had not fallen from the sky to strike her dead, nor had the floor opened up to swallow her.

           “Really!”  Kayla was incredulous.  “I thought you couldn’t stand him?”

           “Things change,” Kate told her wryly.  She hated lying to her twin, but there was no way around it.  If they wanted to keep the ranch, this was the only way to proceed.

           “How does he feel about you?”  Kayla asked, obviously very interested.  “I mean, do you think he feels the same way?”  Kate could imagine her sitting on the sofa in their old apartment, all curled up, a small smile on her face, listening intently to what she had to say.

           “I think so,” Kate admitted.  “As a matter of fact, I think he might be contemplating asking me to marry him.”  She waited for the gasp of surprise that came over the line as she knew it would before continuing.  “Just certain things he’s said recently, and the way he’s been acting about the ranch makes me think he’s pretty serious.” 

           “Yeah, Brian did mention something like that,” Kayla said thoughtfully and Kate started.  Crane must have been laying some groundwork he hadn’t told her about.  Just wait until she got a hold of him!  “What will you do if he asks?”  It was clear that Kayla thought his whole thing was wonderful.

           “Honestly?”  Kate could feel her face becoming redder with every passing second.  God, she hated this!  “If he does ask me to marry him,” she paused, gathering her courage.  “I’ll say yes.”

           “Katy, that’s wonderful!”  Kayla was totally thrilled with this news.  And with reason, Kate thought truthfully. What sister wouldn’t be excited at the prospect of her twin getting married.  Kayla didn’t know that it was only a plan to keep the ranch.  And she never would, she vowed silently, knowing how devastated the other girl would be.  “Damn, I have to go to the theatre now or I’ll be late for the matinee performance.   Listen, you call me if anything happens.  I want to be the first to know.  Oh, Katy, I’m so happy for you!”  Kayla bubbled in her excitement.  She bade her sister a quick goodbye, and the phone went dead in Kate’s hand.  Slowly, she returned the receiver to its cradle and stared glumly at it for a long while.

           “Well, there’s no turning back now,” she said aloud with a heavy sigh.  “Grandad, I certainly hope you knew what you were doing when you drew up that damned will!”  She glared at the picture of Sam Cantrell that sat in a place of honour on the fireplace mantle.  Of course, he only kept smiling in reply. 

 

............. Chapter Six

           “I figured we’d better do this thing right,”  Crane told her as they sat outside the Circle Bar Seven ranch house in the jeep.  Darkness was just falling and the night creatures were beginning to make themselves heard.  It was the time of day that Kate normally loved, but today she had no time to admire the sunset or the coming of night.  She had just called Kayla to tell her that she and Crane were going to get married, and of course, her twin had been totally thrilled with the news.  It had been hard for her to keep up the pretense, but chain-smoking her way through the conversation, much to a watching Crane’s amusement, she had succeeded in sounding like a happy bride-to-be.  Maybe she should have become an actress instead of a dancer, she had thought wryly when she hung up the phone.  She was getting much too good at this play-acting.

           “What are you talking about?”  She asked, turning from her contemplation of the brightly lit house to face him in the semi-darkness.

           “Here, I picked this up in Sonora the other day.”  He held out a small box.  Kate stared at him in stunned surprise.  If what she thought was in that box was in that box, she could very easily throttle him.  Hesitantly, she took it from him and opened it slowly.  She had thought correctly.  Inside was nestled a small but beautiful diamond engagement ring.

           “How the hell did you afford this?”  She demanded angrily to cover up her confusion.

           “Are we starting money arguments already?”  He asked with an amused grin, not phased in the least by her attitude.

           “Crane!”  She glared at him.  “There was no need for this!”

           “Listen, I told you we were going to do this right, and since I had a bit of money saved from tutoring some of Evan’s classmates last year, it seemed the right thing to do,” he explained calmly.  “Try it on and se if it fits,” he suggested, ignoring the fiery glances she was giving him.

           “Sometimes, McFadden…” She began to threaten, but trailed off as she slid the ring on the finger it was designed for and found that it was a perfect fit.

            “Sometimes I even amaze myself,” he observed lightly with a shake of his head.  “Now, I don’t want to hear another word about it.  What’s done is done, and done well, if I do say so myself.”  He gave her a pleased smile that she couldn’t help but respond to.

           “Thank you,” she finally said.  “But there really was no need, you know,” she added in spite of his admonitions.  He raised his eyes to the sky in an expression of exasperation.  “Well, I guess we’d better break the news to your family,” she suggested.

           “I hope you’re ready for this.  They’re going to be a little surprised, you realize,” he warned.

           “I can’t wait!”  She exclaimed wryly.  She sat in some bemusement until he came around to her side of the jeep to open the door for her in the gentlemanly fashion she had come to know well in the past weeks.

            “Are you okay?”  He asked her solicitously as they walked slowly up the pathway that led to the house.

           “I’m fine,” she replied, unable to keep the slight tremble from her voice.  In response, he put an arm about her slender shoulders and smiled down at her.

           “Don’t worry, we’ll make it work,” he promised, which reassured her only somewhat.  Her stomach still indulged in the same acrobatics that it had performed all day long.  Tonight was the point of no return.

           It was a normal after-dinner McFadden scene that met them when they entered the house.  Hannah, Evan and Guthrie were in the midst of what looked to be a wicked game of Monopoly, Ford had his nose buried deep in a book as was usual, Brian was busy cleaning his rifle while discussing something with Adam, and Daniel was in his chair, strumming quietly on his guitar.  All was normal for the moment, Kate thought ruefully.

           “Hi guys, you’re just in time for coffee,” Hannah greeted, looking up from the game board she had been studying intently, a smile on her pert features.

           “I could use it,” Kate replied, thinking of what was to come and worrying.

           “You two missed a great supper,” Evan told them with a grin.  “Hannah’s roast was better than usual.  I had three helpings,” he chuckled.  Eating was one of his favorite pastimes.

           “Hey, what’s up?  You guys look funny.”  Trust Guthrie to be the one to notice that something was up, Kate thought wryly.  Out of the mouths of babes.

           “You tell them,” she gave Crane a nudge in his side, a little harder than was necessary, and grinned in spite of herself at the glare he gave her.

           “Tell us what?”  Adam eyed them suspiciously.  Seven pairs of eyes looked at them expectantly, and Kate felt herself beginning to blush.  Lord she hated this!

           “Kate and I are going to get married,” Crane announced and bedlam broke loose.

           “You’re what!”  This from Adam, whose jaw dropped open in shock.

           “I knew it!  Alright!”  Brian let loose with a loud whoop.

           “That’s marvelous!”  Hannah hurried over to give Kate a tight hug.

           “Well, I’ll be damned!”  Daniel shook his dark head in disbelief and gave them a wide grin, accompanied by a loud chord on his guitar.

           “Congratulations!  That’s fantastic!”  Ford dropped his book and followed Hannah in giving Kate a hug, albeit a shy one.

           “This is great!”  Evan claimed with a happy laugh.

           “And he gave you a ring?”  Guthrie’s sharp eyes missed nothing, it seemed.  “Hey, this is okay!”  He grinned hugely as he bounced up and down on the sofa in his excitement.

           “Hey, everybody, calm down!”  Adam shouted over the noise.  “Come on, I want to hear the plans these two have made.  Guthrie, you’re going to break the couch if you don’t relax,” he warned.

           “Give it up, Adam,” Crane advised, moving to his eldest brother’s side.  As Kate watched, the brothers exchanged a long searching look.

           “Are you two sure about this?”  Adam asked seriously, a frown knitting his brows together.

           “Yup.”  Crane replied with a small grin.  They exchanged another long look, then Adam reached out and enfolded the younger man in a hug of great brotherly affection that Kate could not help but be touched by.

           “We are going to have the most fantastic wedding that Carbon County as every seen,” he promised the newly engaged couple, and she heaved a great sigh of relief.  If Adam believed them, the rest of the family would be easy.

           “Can I kiss the bride?”  Daniel asked her, drawing her attention away from the brotherly scene.  She chuckled and nodded in shy embarrassment.  Oddly, the butterflies she had been experiencing all day had all but disappeared.

 

            “Kate, I’m so happy for you and Crane,”  Hannah said feelingly.  The two young women had taken themselves off into the kitchen to prepare a new pot of coffee, leaving the male members of the family to discuss the upcoming nuptials.  “You know, there was a time when I wondered if he’d ever find the right girl.”  She shook her dark cloud of hair.  “It only seems right that it be you somehow.”

           “Why?”  Kate felt guilty at having to deceive her friend.  She busied herself by taking out coffee cups and placing them in a tray. 

           “Well, it’s no secret that there have been women he’s been interested in over the years, but even when it seemed as if one of them might be the one, something always happened to screw it up.  Fortunately, he never seemed to take a long time to get over it.  And I don’t know, but – don’t laugh now – none of them seemed to be quite what Ford would call McFadden material.”  She gave Kate a wry look, and the Cantrell girl laughed.

           “And I am?”  She demanded.  Odd, but she had never really thought of Crane as having been involved with other women until now. 

           “Oh, yeah,” Hannah grinned.  “You temper is as bad as Adam’s for one thing.  And then there’s that something extra that I’ve tried to figure out ever since we were married.  I don’t know quite what it is, but it’s got McFadden written all over it.”  She shrugged helplessly.

           “I know exactly what you mean.”  Kate nodded.  She wasn’t so sure that she had it, but if Hannah thought she did, she was not going to disabuse her of the notion.  “Han,” she stopped, suddenly, unsure of the idea that had just struck her.

           “What?  Come on, you can tell me.”  Hannah smiled gently.

           “Well,” Kate swallowed nervously.  “I just wondered.  Well, Crane says that we’re going to do this wedding up right, and so, I thought that Kayla of course would be my maid of honour, but I’d be really happy if you’d consent to be my bridesmaid.”  She smile shyly, her cheeks colouring prettily.

           “I’d be honoured,” Hannah said with pleasure.  “But only if the wedding is fairly soon,” she amended with a small laugh.  Kate gave her a puzzled look.  “You see, I’ll be showing soon.  Kate, I’m going to have a baby!”  Her blue eyes shone luminously with happiness.

           “Oh, Hannah!”  Kate enfolded the McFadden girl in a tight hug, unaware of the tears that prickled at the backs of her eyes.  “I’m so thrilled for you!”

           “You mustn’t say anything,” Hannah told her, returning the hug with equal fervour.  “Nobody knows yet.  Not even Adam.”

           “Not even Adam?”  Kate echoed in surprise.  Hannah shook her head.

           “Nope.  I was going to say something tonight when you guys got here, but something else came up,” she laughed.

           “We spoiled it for you!”  Kate exclaimed in guilt.

           “Oh stop!”  Hannah giggled at the look of dismay on the redhead’s face.  “It’ll keep for a day or two.  Kate, don’t look so upset!”  She dissolved into laughter, which after a moment, Kate joined with.

           “What’s so funny?”  Crane demanded, entering the kitchen.

           “Nothing.”  The girls responded in unison and began to laugh even harder.  He gave them a quizzical look and left the room, scratching his head in bemusement. 

 

............. Chapter Seven

           “Don’t you dare lecture me!”  Kate glared at Crane, fury written all over her face.  “I’ve had quite enough of McFadden logic for today!”  She sat down heavily in the fireside chair, her mouth one thin line of anger.

           “He’s right, you know,” Crane said quietly, taking off his glasses and rubbing the bridge of his nose tiredly.

           “Adam is always right!”  Kate exclaimed in sarcastic exasperation.  “He can do no wrong as far as any of you are concerned.   I’m sorry, I don’t think he’s as all-knowing as that!!”  She lit a cigarette and blew the smoke out quickly, a sure sign of how deep her anger was.

           “Kate, will you please calm down.  This isn’t solving the problem any.”  He fixed a serious blue gaze on her.

           “Crane, if we’re in the red now, does it really make sense to take out a loan to buy cattle that we really don’t need?”  She asked, unwilling to give up the argument.

           “You have to start upgrading your stock now, or else a year or two down the road, you’re going to be left with second-rate cattle,” he explained for not the first time that day.  “And as far as the loan goes, by the time you have to start paying it back, some of Sam’s investments will have come to maturity and there will be no shortage of cash.  Kate, will you think about it logically for once, and not so emotionally.  Adam doesn’t say these things just to see how mad you’ll get.  He knows that already.  Every time he says black, you say white, no matter what the colour is in the first place!”  It was plain to Kate that he was nearing the end of his rope with her as well.  She had to give him credit, he had kept his temper admirably while she and Adam had slugged it out for the better part of two hours that afternoon.

           “Our cattle is not second-rate!”  She returned stubbornly.  “And if I didn’t think about things logically, please tell me why we’re getting married in two days?  She gave him a saccharine-sweet smile.

           “Because I’m a certifiable idiot!”  He exploded, getting to his feet and stalking out of the house before she could think of a suitable reply.

           “The more things change, the more they stay the same,” she observed aloud, grabbing the nearest object and throwing it after him in anger.  It was the ashtray, but luckily, the door had closed behind him before it reached its intended destination.  “I hate both of them!”  She shouted into the silence that followed and promptly dissolved into tears.

           The past weeks have been a real strain on her.  Due to the circumstances, she had spent more time than usual at the Circle Bar Seven and consequently more time pretending that this marriage was all she’d ever hoped for in life.  That, coupled with having to live with the realization that Brian would never return her feelings and knowing that she would have to spend the rest of her life with someone she didn’t love, was wearing her nerves to a frazzle.  Admittedly, Crane had been very supportive, understanding the pressures she was under, but that didn’t stop her from having all her habitual arguments with him and his brother.

           She cried for a long while.  Crying for the unfairness of it all.  For the total happiness she would never achieve.  Crying out of frustration and hopelessness.  Much later, totally drained, she slept, curled up in the chair beside the fireplace.

           It was dark when she awoke.  Wiping her tear-stained cheeks, she stared into the darkness, thinking over the events of that afternoon, beginning with the suggestion Adam had made.  Now, once she had reflected calmly on the matter, she acknowledged that he may have had a point.  She, to be honest with herself, did not know enough about cattle to deny that what he had said was the truth.  After all, he and Crane had spent their lives raising cattle while she had never really paid that much attention to her grandfather’s explanations on the subject.  She was going to have to swallow her pride and admit she was wrong.  To both brothers.

           That brought on thinking about Crane and the terrible way she had acted towards him once Adam had left.  As usual, he had only been trying to help, and she had jumped all over him, saying awful things.  They had been doing too well lately, not really having the horrible arguments that had been the norm.

           “Aw, hell!”  She cursed and jumped out of the chair, ignoring the complaints of stiff muscles and feet that had fallen asleep.  She hoped she would find Crane at the McFadden house.  She was not too keen on searching the countryside for hi, but if she had to she would.  Once Kate Cantrell set her mind to something, she would not stop until hit had been finished.  Grabbing her jean jacket, for the mountain nights tended to become cool, she hurried out the door, never thinking to turn on a single light.

           “You’re going to break your neck running around in the dark like that,” a quiet voice observed and she skidded to a stop.  A very unelegant stop.

           “How long have you been there?”  Hesitantly, Kate moved to share the porch swing that Crane occupied.

           “All along,” he admitted.  “I was too mad to think about heading home and inflicting myself on my poor unsuspecting family, so I sat here for a while and got comfortable thinking about things.”  He shrugged.

           “Well, I’ve been doing some thinking too,” Kate said, deciding to take the bull by the horns.  There was nothing to be gained by hedging at this late date.  “There are two things I have to say to you, and I would appreciate it if you let me say them without interrupting.”  She waited until he nodded in the moonlight.  “First of all, you and Adam were probably  right about the cattle, and I’ll go along with whatever you think is best.  I’m sorry I got so upset about it, but you have to admit, I did warn you about my temper.” She looked away from him, unable to meet his gaze in the faint light offered by the almost full moon.  A small glitter caught her attention and she found herself looking down at her left hand, where the small diamond had found what little light there was.

           “And secondly?”  Crane prodded when she hesitated.

           “Secondly?”  She twirled the ring she still had not become used to wearing.  “Well, I was thinking, that you said we could make this marriage thing work, if we tried.  And to be honest, you’re the one doing most of the work.  I’ve been absolutely horrible to you today, and I know I haven’t been an exact joy over the past weeks.  Crane, if you want to call it off, I’ll understand.  There must be another way around that stupid will.”  She had not meant to sound so forlorn, but once she had begun, it was hard to stop.

           “Katy, we’re going to do some serious talking now.  And we’re going to be completely honest with each other.”  He took her hands and forced her to turn and face him before he continued.  “First off, we both know that we’re not in love with each other, and that’s a point in our favour.  I know you care about somebody else, and you know that I’m pretty skeptical about this whole love thing, so we’re going into it with our eyes wide open, and no preconceived ideas to live up to.  More importantly, we have a friendship that goes back a long way. That can be built on.”

           “You mean it’s sort of like the song says, ‘what’s love got to do with it’?”  Kate asked, once she had recovered from the discovery that he knew how she felt about his brother.  Not that it really should have surprised her.  Crane seemed to know everything these days.

           “On the nose.”  He laughed slightly and tweaked the end of her nose gently.  “Secondly, I understand, more or less, how you feel about Adam, me, you and the ranch.  It is your ranch, and I intend for it to remain that way.  It’s only natural that you want to make the decisions you think are right.   However, both Adam and myself have been given a responsibility to see that you don’t’ get yourself into trouble, and we were brought up to accept such responsibilities and take them seriously.  Do you understand what I’m saying?”  He have her a searching look and she nodded.

           “I think so.”  What he was saying made sense, but she also knew that there was no way she would ever be able to stop arguing with them.  She had a suspicion that he realized that as well.  “But Crane, are you sure this is the right thing to do? I mean most times, I think we’re doing right, but sometimes,” she shrugged, at a loss for the proper words.  “I just don’t want you ruining your life for me.”

           “Kathleen, I’m not going to say this again.  It’s my decision, and I’m not that much of an idiot, what I said earlier not withstanding, to ruin my life. Will you please believe that?”  He gave her hands a gentle squeeze to add emphasis to his words.

           “Crane, how come most of the time you’re as good to me as you ever were when we were kids?”  Kate wished fervently for a cigarette, but she had left them in the house in her hurry to fine Crane.

           “I’ll tell you that when you tell me the real reason you never came back to Carbon County,” he told her cryptically.

           “Like I said, most times,” she repeated wryly and he laughed in obvious amusement.

           “Are you feeling better now?”  He asked.  “You must be, you’re getting back to your usual feisty self,” he observed.

           “Crane, will you do something for me?”  Despite the darkness, there was not mistaking the mischief that lit her green eyes.

           “If I can.”  He knew better than to totally commit himself, it appeared.

           “Would you put your arms around me, hold me and tell me everything you know about raising cattle?”  She gave him a wide-eyed, innocent look and a sweet smile, trying to keep the giggles from welling up in her throat.

           “You think you’re funny, don’t you?”  He accused, laughing himself.  “Well, just for that, I’m going to do exactly that.  Come here.”  He arranged her so that she leaned up against his chest, his arms wrapped about her shaking shoulders so that she could not escape and began to tell her about cattle, oblivious to the giggles that finally consumed her.

 

           “Kate, it’s beautiful!  How did you do it?”  Kayla twirled about in her bridesmaids dress, as graceful and beautiful as a ballet dancer should be.  She was so excited for her sister, that not even the long bus ride from the city on the day before the wedding could dampen her high spirits.

           “I just put on my most innocent face, tried on the dress myself and knew exactly how it would look on you,” Kate explained in amusement.  It really had been that easy, despite Hannah’s worries.   Her sister-in-law-to-be could not believe that Kate and Kayla were that identical until she had put on the dress and seen for herself.

           “I had no idea that you were going whole hog on the wedding.  I was expecting some simple little dress that I would be able to wear for the next five years.”  Kayla spun about again, entranced with the way the folds of the dress billowed about her.

           “If I’d had my way, that’s how we would be doing it, but Crane, Hannah and Adam ganged up on me and I lost.”  Kate shrugged.  It still bothered her that the McFaddens had been so adamant on the subject, Crane especially.  He knew the real reason behind the wedding, but claimed over and over again, that Sam would have wanted his granddaughter married in style, so in style she would be married.

           “Well, in spite of that, I love the dress.”  Reluctantly, Kayla began to divest herself of the sea-green creation.  “Now I want you to model yours.”  She insisted.

           “We don’t have much time before we have to leave for the rehearsal,” Kate hedged, looking at her watch.  Butterflies were beginning to form in her stomach and the palms of her hands were damp with persperation.

           “You know, I was thinking back to the old days on the bus trip up here.”  Kayla sank down on the bed and gave her sister a winsome smile.  “It only stands to reason that you and Crane would fall in love.  You two were such a pair back then, with all your fighting and arguing.  But you know, whenever the chips were down, the two of you were thicker than glue.  I guess that infatuation you had with Brian passed as quickly as it came, huh?”  She wrinkled her nose attractively.

           “It would appear so,” Kate replied, turning away to busy herself tidying her dresser.  “Luckily for you.”  She couldn’t stop the hurt that she felt at the mention of her name.  No matter how hard she tried to put him out of her mind, it was impossible to forget the sparkle in his blue eyes or the curve of his lips as he smiled that lazy smile she loved so much.  Once again, she cursed herself roundly.  She owed her allegiance to Crane now.   She couldn’t think of Brian and make this marriage work.  And she was going to make the marriage as much of a success as she could.

           “Yeah, I guess we seem to have started something,” Kayla blushed prettily.  “I dunno,” she sighed.  “I like him I guess.  We always have fun whenever we’re together it seems.  And he really is awfully cute and sexy.”  She rolled her green eyes expressively.

           “It runs in the family,” Kate told her wryly, hating every minute of the charade she was forcing herself to play out.  “Come on, we’d better get a move on or we’ll be late, and I’m late one more time this week, either Adam or Crane will murder me.”

           “Oho!  They’ve discovered another of your bad habits, have they?”  Kayla teased.  Suddenly her eyes misted, and she flung her arms about her twin.  “Oh, Kate!  I’m so happy for you!”

           “Thank you Kayla,”  Kate whispered, choking back sobs of her own that threatened.  Her sister must never find out the truth about this marriage, she vowed, no matter how difficult it would be.

 

............. Chapter Eight

           Kate stared at her reflection in the mirror, alone for the moment in the back room of the church.  That couldn’t be her!  She had looked good in her lifetime, but never as good as this!  Her wedding dress was simple, but beautiful in its simplicity.  Styled as an ancient Greek floor-length toga, it emphasized her tall willowiness.  Her long hair had been left loose, it’s only adornment a single white camellia tucked behind one ear.  Kayla had done an expert job in applying her make-up so that it accentuated her large green eyes, making them the focal point of her face.

           “Are you ready, Kate?”  Hannah asked, slipping into the room followed by Kayla, both girls smiling with pleased affection.

           “I guess so,” she replied with a deep sigh.  She could not deny that she was nervous.  She was petrified if the truth be known.  Her knees wanted to knock together frantically, and she had to remind herself not to chew off her demurely applied lipstick.

           “I guess this is it.”  Kayla came to give her a gentle hug.  “Grandad would be proud,” she whispered.  “I certainly am.”  She kissed her sister’s cheek softly and dashed away a sentimental tear.

           “Don’t worry, honey,” Hannah said fondly.  “You’re marrying one of the sweetest guys on earth,” she reassured the shaky bride.

           “So he keeps trying to tell me,” Kate quipped wryly, trying to lighten the mood a little and put herself more at ease.  It did not work.

           “It’s a go out here.”  Young Guthrie popped his head around the door and grinned an impish grin.  He was very proud of himself in his post of ring bearer.

           “Okay.”  Kate took another deep breath.  She was about to pass the point of no return.  Oddly, at that moment, a sort of peacefulness came over her.  It had been made obvious to her that Brian McFadden was a lost cause as far as she was concerned, so the most important thing in her life at the moment was to keep the ranch.  If by marrying Crane McFadden the problem would be solved, then so be it.  Crane wasn’t so bad after all.  The strains of the Wedding March sounded from outside the room, signaling the start of the ceremony.

           “You’re beautiful,” Hannah told her, just before exiting the back room behind Guthrie.  Kayla smiled once again, her eyes suspiciously moist, and following the McFadden duo.

           “Okay, Kathleen.  Head up.  This is your day.” She told herself firmly as she left the room and began her walk down the aisle.

           Every head in the church turned to follow her progress.  It seemed as if all of Murphys had turned out for the wedding, but they were only a blur of faces to the girl in white.  She kept her eyes focused on the altar at the end of the aisle and endeavoured to stop her hands from trembling too noticeably.  Finally, she turned her gaze to meet they eyes of the man who waited for her, very handsome in his dark tuxedo.  He smiled reassuringly and her lips curved in response, despite the butterflies that were doing acrobatics in her stomach.

           “You’re doing just fine, Katy,” he said softly as she came to his side.

           “I’m nervous as he…” she began but stopped when he took her hand and gave it a quick squeeze.

           “We are in church,” he reminded, and she grinned, feeling her old self.  She hadn’t been sure what to expect from him, but it appeared that he was the same old Crane she’d known for years.

           “We are gathered here today, to celebrate the joining of Kathleen and Crane…” the minister began the ceremony and she took another deep breath.  This was certainly it. 

           “Do you Kathleen…”

           “I do.”  Her voice was breathless and slightly unsteady.

           “Do you Crane…”

           “I do.”  His voice was firm and sure.

           “Who gives…”

           “I do.”  Kayla’s voice rang out proudly.

           “I know pronounce you husband and wife.  What God hath joined, let no man put asunder.  Crane, you may kiss your bride.”  A light, gentle kiss and she was turned to face the congregation, her only anchor to the real world the calloused hand that held hers.  The strains of music signaled them to begin their walk back up the aisle.   It was over.  She was Mrs. Crane McFadden. A married woman.   It was too late to change her mind.

           “Oh Lord,” she murmured and clasped her husband’s hand tightly.  She had a feeling that her troubles had only begun.

 

           “I didn’t know getting married was so much hard work!”  Kate observed to Evan as she sank down into the empty chair at his side.

           “Let’s just say I’m glad it’s you and not me,” he agreed with a chuckle.

           Adam had insisted that the wedding reception beheld in the main dining room of Murphys’ Hotel.  Sam would have agreed, he told Kate when she made her numerous and frequent protests.  The party was in full force and Kate felt as if she had danced with every man Murphys had to offer.  She loved to dance, but right now, her feet were aching from her new shoes and her head pounding after the long day that was only promising to get longer.

           “Evan, I think that if anyone else wants to dance with the bride, I’m going to have to disappoint them.  I’m exhausted!”  She took a long, grateful sip from the glass of water he pushed towards her.

           “You’re not supposed to be exhausted on your wedding night, Mrs. McFadden,” he informed her teasingly, pleased when she blushed in response.

           “And you’re not supposed to know about things like that!”  She retorted in embarrassment.  She was having enough trouble trying to reconcile the fact that she had promised her husband a family with the realization of what that would entail.  At the moment, she didn’t think she could go through with it.  Not tonight at any rate.

           “Sitting down already?”  Crane asked, joining them at the table.  Kate only glared at him in response.  He should be wearing her shoes, she thought sulkily.

           “Evan, get lost for a moment, will you?”  Crane looked pointedly at his younger brother, who complied, flashing Kate a wicked grin at which she could only shake her head ruefully.

           “No subtle hints for you, huh?”  She gazed tiredly up at him.

           “Not for Evan.  He wouldn’t understand subtlety if he tried for a million years.”  He grinned and took the chair his brother had so hastily vacated.  “Look, kiddo, I’ll make you a deal,” he proposed.

           “What’s that?”  Kate asked warily.  His last deal had seen her marry him that afternoon.

           “We’ll take one last turn about the dance floor and then get out of here.  You look totally wiped out,” he observed solicitously.

           “I’d be insulted at that, but I’m too tired,” she chuckled.  “You’ve got yourself a deal,” she agreed and let him lead her out into the crowd of people who were still partying at high speed.  Adam had promised the finest wedding that Carbon County had ever seen, and he certainly had delivered.

           “Did I tell you how great you looked today?”  Crane asked softly as she moved into the circle of his arms.  Thankfully the song was a slow one, and she could lean on him for the most part.

           “Not in so many words,” she replied, laying her aching head on his shoulder.

           “Well, I heard someone tell Hannah that Murphys had never seen a lovelier bride, and I have to agree.”  His breath stirred her hair ever so slightly as he spoke.

           “Thank you.”

           As they danced, Kate mused on the difference between dancing with her husband and dancing with Brian.  Yes, she had danced with her new brother-in-law, and alternately hated and loved every minute of it.  Loved the way it felt to be held in his arms after all these years of only dreaming of it, and hating it because she was betraying the silent promise she had made to herself and to Crane.  She cursed her racing pulse and the guilt that consumed her.  It was going to be very hard to put this man out of her mind.  With Crane however, she felt totally comfortable and at ease.  Her heart did not pound so hard that it was almost painful, and her mind carried on no argument with her emotions.  It was as if in Crane’s arms, she had nothing to fear, nothing to worry about, and she enjoyed the feeling.

           “Crane, I…”  She could not finish the statement she had been about to make.  Could not admit these feelings to him.

           “I know, you want to get out of here,” he finished for her, smiling down at her with an indulgent air.  “Guthrie.”  He called to his nearby young brother who was instantly at their side.  “We’re going to head home, but don’t tell anyone until we’re long gone, okay?”

           “Sure, but are you sure you want to go?  The party’s till going strong.”  The boy’s blue eyes were dancing with excitement.   Like all the McFaddens, he loved a party.

           “Kate’s tired,” Crane explained simply.  “and I’m none too energetic at the moment.  Tell Adam that we’ll pop over before going off to San Francisco.”

           “Will do,” Guthrie agreed with a shrug, and Kate and Crane exchanged amused grins.  The endurance of youth.

           “Let’s go then,”  Crane put his arm about Kate’s shoulders and unobtrusively led her from the room. 

 

           Kate sank thankfully into one corner of the sofa, closing her eyes in exhaustion.  It had been the longest day of her life.  Once she and Crane had reached home – the Bar C ranch house they now shared – he had ordered her upstairs to get out of her wedding finery.  That was one order she didn’t argue with.  Her greatest want at the time had been to get out of her torturous shoes.  Now, changed into her favorite sweatsuit, she waited fro him to bring her the hot cup of tea he had promised would be forthcoming.

          “Here you go.”  He returned to the living room, carrying a tray that held two mugs and the teapot.  “How do you feel now?”  He asked sympathetically, taking a seat on the other end of the sofa.

           “Like I just finished taping five Shirley MacLaine specials in row,” she replied wryly, taking the mug he handed her.

           “We watched that with your grandfather,” Crane remembered with a smile.  “He was so proud of you.  Told us that you were a better dancer than she could ever hope to be.”  He chuckled at the memory.  “He made us all come over for supper and then parked us in front of that TV set and threatened us all with death if we dared disturb his viewing.”

           “Sounds like Grandad.”  Kate agreed with a small grin of her own.  “He came to the city one time to see Kayla in a ballet.  I was his ‘date’.  Kayla had a small solo, and when it was over, he stood up and gave her a long standing ovation.  He was the only one in the theatre to do so, of course.  We were both, Kayla and I, so embarrassed.”  She sipped gingerly at the hot tea, her eyes taking on a faraway look.   “Afterwards, Kayla admitted that secretly she had been very touched at his display.  I guess in his eyes we could do no wrong.”  She shrugged tiredly.

           “You’ve got that right.”  Crane agreed.  They both fell silent for a while, remembering there own special memories of Sam Cantrell, until Kate stretched and winced as her toes curled.

           “Sore feet?”  Crane asked knowingly.

           “I should have known better than to wear new shoes without breaking them in first.  Some dancers have a simply awful time finding shoes that fit properly in the beginning,” she explained, reaching down to massage a foot.

           “Here, swing your legs over here.”  Crane patted one of his knees.  “These fingers can work magic, I’m told.”  He grinned with a touch of wickedness.

           “By whom?”  His new wife demanded, doing as he had told her.

           “Ah.  I’ll never tell.”  He quipped and began to massage her feet in a most effective manner.  Uttering a small sigh of relief in spite of herself, Kate settled further down on her spine, relaxing under his ministrations.

           “Where were you after those all-day rehearsals I hated?”  She demanded teasingly, closing her eyes in total contentment.  The way to her heart must be through her feet, she decided in an absurd turn of thought.

           “A phonecall away,” he responded, in an odd tone of voice that she had not the will to question at the moment.

           “Kayla promised us front row seats for the day after tomorrow,” she changed the subject.  The couple were headed to San Francisco for a few days as a sort of honeymoon, as much as Kate hated the expression.  “She said that even someone who doesn’t know ballet at all will enjoy this show.”

           “She doesn’t think much of my cultural leanings, does she?”  Crane chuckled, pausing to sip at his tea.

           “Don’t stop now!”  Kate protested, then smiled as he returned to his work.  “All she remembered was that you used to give the both of us a hard time about our dancing lessons.  Prissy stuff, you used to call it, if I recollect right.  Anyway, she says she’s going to let us stay at the apartment while she stays with one of her girlfriends from the show for the three days we’re there.  She doesn’t want to horn in on us, I suppose.  Anyway, she wants us to call her as soon as we get in tomorrow.  She’s taking the early morning bus back, so she’ll be there long before us.  You know Crane, I could really have used you as a personal masseur long before this,” she murmured, her voice becoming more and more fait as she hovered on the edge of sleep.

           “I’m glad I’m appreciated for something,” he offered wryly.  “Look, why don’t you head up to bed?”  He suggested, and her eyes flew open instantly, her whole body stiffening.  She had completely forgotten that this was supposed to be her wedding night!

           “I’m not tired!”  She countered hastily, and was shocked when he began to laugh, not unkindly.

           “Katy, sometimes you jump to the wildest conclusions.”  He shook his blond head in amusement.  “I put my stuff in the guest room,” he reassured her.

           “You didn’t have to!”  She interrupted before he could continue. 

           “Kate.”  He glared at her and she fell silent.  “There is no reason for you to be so noble right away, you know.  I have no intention of forcing myself upon you.  Too much has happened in the past few weeks.  We both need some time to get used to this marriage before we go any further.  Besides, you’re the one who is so determined that we have a family.”  He raised a sandy eyebrow.  “You wait until you’re ready and then we’ll take it from there.  Okay?”  He patted the bottom of her bare feet softly.

           “Sometimes, Crane McFadden, you’re so noble that it makes me ill!”  She told him with a smile to soften the harsh-sounding words.  She could not tell him how grateful she was to him for understanding her reluctance, or at least accepting it.

           “I know, Brian says it’ll be my downfall one of these days.”  He told her ruefully.  “Now go on. Get up to bed.  I’ll make sure all the lights are out.”  He made shooing motions with his hands, and she stifled a relieved giggle.

           “Okay,” she agreed, and got to her feet.  The, surprising herself, she bent over and gave him a swift kiss.  “Thank you.”  She said softly, then turned to go up the stairs, her heart light.

 

           “And you talk about Crane being noble!”  Kate exclaimed aloud, throwing off the blankets and getting out of bed.  It was nearing on four-thirty in the morning, and she doubted if she’d had one full hour’s sleep since she’d gone to bed.  Feelings of guilt plagued her, refusing to let her get any rest.  It was no use putting off the inevitable.  One day she was going to have to sleep with him again.  She couldn’t live with herself if she didn’t become more than a wife in name only.  Her sense of honour and duty had been instilled within her at an early age by her grandfather.  She had promised Crane a normal marriage and that was what he was going to get.  It would only get more difficult with the passage of time.

           “How do you manage to do this to yourself?”  She muttered, turning on her bedside lamp and proceeding to tear apart the top drawer of her dresser.  “Because you know that if the roles were reversed, he’d do exactly the same,” she answered herself.  Poor Crane, he’d given up a lot to help her, so the least she could do was see to it that he didn’t lose out on too much.

           “As if you think you’re some hotshot between the sheets,” she scolded herself with an amused laugh.  She’d only ever made love to a man once, and that had been to the man who was now her husband!  She might not be a virgin, but she was certainly innocent enough to pass for one, she thought.  She had to treat this lightly, or she’d never go through with it and then she’d never get any sleep.

           “And all you have are pajama tops and tee-shirts.  Some sexpot you turned out to be Kathleen Cantrell!”  She closed her drawer in frustration.  “This will have to do.  I hope he isn’t too fussy.”  Quickly she changed into the garment she had grabbed from the mess of clothes in her top drawer and turned to the mirror to brush her hair.  “It’ll be dark,” she reassured her reflection, not realizing that the silky pajama-style top was as flattering to her a  slinky negligee would be to Marilyn Monroe.  With her long coppery hair flowing over her shoulders and down her back, she presented an attractive and vulnerable picture.

           Her heart pounding wildly in her ears, she left her bedroom and crept quietly down the hallway, barely daring to breathe.  Catching her bottom lip between her teeth, she slowly opened the door to the guest room and paused as she caught sight of the form stretched out on the bed, only half covered by the blankets.  Dear Lord, this was going to be the most difficult thing she had ever done in her life!  Tossing off a quick prayer to whatever gods protected those such as herself, she entered the room and closed the door behind her.  She moved to the bed, and stood looking down at the man who was now her husband.  He looked so peaceful and boyish as he slept, his blond hair a tousled mess, his face half-buried in the pillow.  In a burst of affection, she reached out to touch his bearded cheek gently, causing him to stir in his slumber.  Silently scolding herself for being so frightened, she made her next move.  Holding her breath, she manoevered herself onto the bed beside him, and slid under the covers, a blush flooding her cheeks when she realized that he slept completely nude.  This won’t do, she told herself firmly, you’re not a schoolgirl now.  Closing her eyes and indulging in one more silent prayer, she raised a hand to touch his cheek again.

           “Crane?”  She hated the way her voice caught in her throat as she whispered his name.  He stirred once again, and one blue eyes opened slightly, then closed slowly.  It was obvious that he was not really awake, which suited her just fine.  She ran her hand over his chest, marveling at the silky feel of the hair under her fingers.  “Crane?”  She said his name softly once more, and he responded by placing his own hand on the curve of her hip.  She shivered slightly at the touch. 

           “Cold?”  He murmured, still half asleep, and gathered her closer to the warmth of his own body.

           “Warming up,” she answered truthfully in the same low tone.  She brushed her fingertips over his lips, amazed by the sensuousness of her action.

           “Katy.”  Something in the soft, caressing way he said her name caused a warmth to curl in the pit of her stomach and spread out through the rest of her body.  He raised himself up on his elbow and gazed down at her with eyes still heavy with sleep, a hot blue fire kindling in their depths.  She twined her arms about his neck and pulled his head down to receive her kiss, all hesitancy gone from her mind.

           It was a kiss she would remember for a long time, and she had the fleeting thought that he wanted it so.  Ever so slowly, his mouth moved on hers, coaxing her lips open, teasing her with his tongue, bringing her to life with a skill she had never dreamt of.  As he took full possession of her mouth, a small moan escaped her.  That one kiss should send fluid flame coursing through her, shocked her.  She arched her back, needing to feel the full length of his sinewy frame along every inch of her now-trembling body.  From where it lay along the side of her neck, caressing the underside of her jawline, his hand moved to the top button of her nightshirt.  Almost lazily, he undid all the buttons until he had free passage over the whole of her body.  She luxuriated in the feel of his rough hands on her tender skin, moaning again as his touch, feather-light, passed over her breasts.  Her memories of that day long ago had not prepared her for the torrent of sensation that his hands and mouth produced as they traveled over her.  Giving in to instinct, she let her own hands trail over his lean frame, and chuckled throatily when they found particularly sensitive spots that caused him to gasp.  The tables were turned as she followed the trail of her hands with her lips, teasing him with intermittent nips on his burning skin.  After what seemed an eternity of sensation after sensation, she managed to gasp out his name to which he responded by taking complete possession of her, slowly and gently.  Pleasurable shudders flooded over her as she matched her rhythm with his, meeting his every thrust with a fervour that equaled the passion she had aroused.  At the last possible moment of semi-sanity, her mouth clung to his, stifling the moan of ecstasy they shared as their intense arousal peaked in a singularly shattering moment.

           They lay entwined for a long while, and Kate found that she had never experienced a feeling such as the one she now found, exhausted but content in her husband’s arms.  She could not believe that she could be so aroused by a man she did not love.  She had always thought that love and good sex went hand in hand, but now she was forced to rethink her ideas.  Not that she was doing so very clearly, for her body still felt the burning of his lips on it.  It really wasn’t fair that she hadn’t fallen in love with Crane.

           “Dammit Kate!”  Suddenly she was alone in the bed, shocked into total awareness by his quick departure.  Her eyes followed him as he donned his robe and went to stand by the window, a dark silhouette against the brightening sky.

           “What’s wrong?”  She asked, hurt and confused by his actions.  She gathered the bedclothes about her, conscious of her nudity, and sat up on the bed, waiting for him to answer.

           “That wasn’t supposed to happen,” he told her, a touch of anger in his tone.  His back was rigid as he stared outside and she shivered in spite of herself.  Had she totally ruined their chances for a  successful marriage, she wondered.

           “It had to sooner or later,” she said in a shaky voice, her mouth suddenly dry.

            “I should never have let it happen, but I was too damned out of it when it started, and by the time I realized what was going on, it was too late to stop it.”  She could detect the guilt in his words and searched for something to say to make him feel less so.

           “Well,” she sighed, unable to stop the tears that welled up in her eyes.  It had been a long day, and a longer night, her emotions ready to be touched off by the slightest thing.  “It happened, and it happened well, even if I do say so myself.  And I didn’t figure that it would get any easier if we waited, and I just wanted to do the right thing, after all I did promise you a real marriage.  I just thought…”  Her control lost, she broke down into quiet sobs, wishing the floor would open up and swallow her.  She had done the wrong thing in coming to him.  It was obvious to her that even if she was ready to admit that at least one part of their marriage could be a success without love, he was ready for no such thing.

           “Katy, don’t cry!”  He protested, and a moment later, she was in his arms, sobbing as if her life were over.  “Katy, it’s my fault.  I feel as if I’ve taken advantage of you.  I know how you feel about this marriage, and I know that you really were not ready for this part of it.  I just wanted you to wait until you felt more at ease about the whole thing before you welcomed me into your bed.  Please, Katy, stop crying!”  He sighed heavily.  “Kate, I don’t want you to feel obligated to make love to me.”  He told her, forcing her to look at him, in the dimness of the early dawn.

           “Well, I certainly don’t want you to feel obligated either!”  She returned angrily.  “I didn’t realize that I would be so distasteful to you!  I wasn’t the last time!”  Her hurt had turned to outright fury.

           “Kathleen Cantrell McFadden, if you think that was distasteful to me, you have a thing or two to learn,” he advised, a small grin tugging at the corners of his mouth.  How dare he make a joke out of this!  She endeavoured to free a hand from the folds of the bedclothes in order to slap him, but realized that to do so would expose her to his now laughing eyes.

           “You certainly sound as if it was.”  She settled for words instead of actions.  To her surprise, he took her face between his hands and stared at her for a long moment.

           “I’ll show you how distasteful it was,” he told her, silencing her protests with his lips.  She tried to turn away, but his hands would not let her move her head in any direction.  After a moment, her traitorous body got the better of her fighting instincts and she found herself kissing him back with all the fervour she had previously displayed.  Her mind told her that she hated him right now, but her body was giving off a totally different story.

           “Forget about everything,” he commanded gently, his lips never leaving hers.  Her hands crept up to his shoulders.  She knew she had to give in.  “Third time lucky,” he quoted, laying her back on the bed, and she was lost.  She could not stay angry with the man who was eliciting such a wild, abandoned response from her.  Already her breath was coming in ragged gasps, and she ached to feel his skin against hers.

           “We have a lot of time before we leave for the city,” she observed breathlessly, as his robe dropped by the bed and she let her senses take over.  That they were both playing with fire was her last coherent thought.

 

Chapter Nine

           Kate yawned her way into the kitchen, drawn by the savory smell of cooking bacon and brewing coffee.  She realized that it was late in the morning, but frankly, she didn’t care.  Knowing Crane, she was certain that he had been up for quite a while, doing all the chores that needed to be done before they left for San Francisco.

           “Good morning, sleepyhead,” he greeted, turning away from the stove to give her an amused grin.  “I thought you were never going to move out of that bed.”

           “The thought crossed my mind, believe me,” she responded, taking her customary seat at the kitchen table.  “But I decided that I needed a cup of coffee.”  She reached for the mug he handed her and sipped at it gratefully.

           “Breakfast will be served in about two shakes,” he promised, returning to the stove.

           “Do you have to be so damned cheerful?”  Kate demanded sourly.  She was never at her best in the morning, preferring to be left alone until she had time to wake up.

           “It’s just my happy-go-lucky nature,” he retorted with a laugh, and she had the feeling that he was enjoying her grouchy state.  She glared at him over the rim of her coffee mug, but forbore to respond, knowing that it would only bring further teasing.

           She watched him as he moved about the kitchen, seeing him in a new light after all that had happened in the wee hours of the morning.  In the cold light of day, she found it hard to reconcile what had passed between them.  It wasn’t right that she should have enjoyed his love-making so much.  They didn’t love each other!  The whole situation was absurd, but she realized that all he would have to do was touch her, an she’d probably melt into his arms.  On the other hand, she could start an argument with him at the drop of a hat, she was sure.  She was so mixed up!

           “Good morning!”  The greeting from the back door shocked her out of her revery.

           “What are you doing here?”  She demanded of Daniel as he sauntered into the kitchen.

           “Didn’t Crane tell you that I was going to be staying here while you two are living it up in the city?”  He grinned and took a seat at the table.  “That coffee sure smells good, brother mine.”  He gave his brother a wide-eyed look.

           “No, he didn’t tell me,” Kate ignored his broad hint and pursued the original subject.

           “Hey, you just got up,” Crane accused, “and you didn’t appear to be in the mood for talk.”  He set a plate in front of her and a mug of coffee in front of his brother, then took his own chair settling in with his own breakfast.

           “Late night, huh?”  Daniel grinned mischievously, and Kate felt herself begin to blush furiously.  Her brother-in-law laughed delightedly at her discomfort, while her husband just shook his head ruefully.

           “What else haven’t you told me?”  Kate looked at Crane suspiciously.  He gave her back, look for look, and grinned smugly.

           “Many things, my dear, many things,” he replied cryptically, eyes dancing merrily.

           “A little bit of mystery is good for a marriage, they tell me,” Daniel offered.  It was easy to see whose side he was on.

           “And did they also tell you that it’s not nice to get a wife riled over breakfast?”  Kate asked sweetly, toying with the eggs on her plate, a wicked thought entering her mind.  The imp that resided within her, never far from the surface, took control

          “Not everyone is blessed with a  wife such as you,” Crane told her, ignoring the warning signs and giving his brother a conspiratorial wink.

          “Aren’t you the lucky one?”  She smiled brightly at him, just before a large piece of egg went sailing into his face.

           “Egg on your face, Crane?”  Daniel was quite amused.  A moment later, another piece of egg landed under his left eye.  “Okay, I’m getting out of here.  I’ll be in the barn if you need me.”  He beat a hasty retreat through the back door.

           “Kathleen.”  Crane said warningly, wiping his cheek.

           “Isn’t a bit of unpredictability good for a marriage as well?”  She asked, and launched another piece of egg across the table to catch him full on the forehead.

           “You’re asking for trouble, Kate,” he told her, getting to his feet.  Anticipating that he would try and make a grab for her, she arose from her chair as well, moving around the table, ensuring that it would constantly be between the two of them.

           “I like trouble, Crane.  You always told me that.”  She grinned saucily at him, feeling quite protected by the expanse between them.

            “Girl, your moods change with the wind!”  He exclaimed in slight bemusement.  “Put that plate of toast down.”  He commanded laughingly, entering into the spirit of the thing.

           “I won’t!”  She threw a piece at him which he dodged with ease.

           “If I get ahold of you, you’ve had it,” he warned.

           “I’m really scared, Crane,” she retorted, sure of herself.  She made a break for the living room, but he was quicker than she.  He caught her with one hand and dragged her into the vise-grip of his arms.

            “Scared now?”  He asked, looking down into her face with dancing blue eyes.  Mutely, she shook her head, bright hair cascading about her.  “Now that I have you, what shall I do with you?”  He wondered aloud, his grip on her never lessening.

            “Let me go?”  She suggested, struggling in futility.  When she was a child of seven, she had been able to take him on in a fight and hold her own, now, however, it was obvious that he could gain the upper hand with ease.

           “Nope, I don’t think that’s what I want to do,” he said thoughtfully, amused by her struggles.

           “It would be the wisest thing to do.”  She endeavoured to convince him, feeling a dangerous lethargy begin to creep over her.  It was becoming increasingly hard to breathe properly, and scenes from the previous night kept flashing through her mind.

           “I don’t always do the wisest thing, and you know it.”  He bent to claim her with a kiss that sent her legs to shaking and her heart to pounding uncontrollably.  All thoughts of struggle fled from her mind as she arched her body to fit into the curve of his, aware only of him.

           “That wasn’t fair,” she accused in an unsteady voice when he released her after what seemed an eternity.

           “I know,” he responded with a pleased grin.  “Get upstairs and get yourself ready to go.  I’ll go tell Daniel that the coast is clear.”  He swatted her on the behind and pushed her gently towards the living room.

           “You really don’t play fair,” she repeated and left the room slowly.  She was going to have to gain some control over her dangerous responses if she wanted to keep her sanity.  How long could her physical side deny what her mind kept trying to tell it.  She did not love Crane McFadden!  She should not be responding to him in this wanton fashion!  It wasn’t right; it wasn’t natural; it wasn’t what she’d expected.  She cursed him, silently raging, all the while feeling the imprint of his hands and lips all over her body.

 

           Kate was relaxed.  More relaxed that she could remember being since the death of her grandfather.  She puffed languorously on her cigarette and took a small sip from the glass of wine she held.  The best thing about the apartment that she and Kayla had shared in San Francisco had always been the balcony, which afforded a spectacular view of the bay and surrounding area.

           “What are you thinking about?”  Crane came to join her on the balcony, fresh from his shower.

           “About how nice the past few days have been.”  She smiled a little shyly.  “I didn’t think they would be, you know,” she admitted.

           “Getting away from everything is sometimes the best thing to do,” he observed, leaning up against the balcony railing and following her gaze out towards the bay.

           They were silent for a while, which suited Kate just fine.  She thought of how well they had got along since arriving in the city.  During the day, they were like the youngsters they had once been while she guided him about the city that she had lived in for years, showing him all the interesting things she had discovered in that time.  The evenings were taken up with supper at restaurants that Kate had missed since returning to the High Country, and then a movie or Kayla’s ballet production.  Returning to the apartment after these evenings out, it was as if they both had vigen up trying to fight the strong attraction between them as they tumbled into bed for bouts of wild love-making that left Kate’s mind fairly spinning.  For the time being, she had put all her logical arguments to the back of her mind, determined to enjoy these few days.  The Lord knew, she might never have the chance to enjoy anything like this again.  Life could become very uncomplicated if one forgot about everything. 

           “Do you miss the city?”  Crane asked, finally breaking the companionable silence.  He rubbed ineffectually at his damp hair with the towel that hung about his neck.

           “Sometimes,” she replied honestly.  “There are times when I miss the wicked pace.  You know, the late nights, the parties, all that stuff.  But then I just pop over to your house and get just about the same thing,” she grinned teasingly.  “McFadden evenings are better than a three-ring circus.”

           “I’m glad you enjoy them,” he said wryly, giving her a baleful look from under his sandy lashes.  “Would you like some more wine?”  He held out the bottle that had sat on a nearby aluminum table, and she nodded.

           “You know what I miss the most though, Crane?”  She retuned to the original subject, moving to his side to refill her glass.

           “Your dancing?”  He guessed and she laughed slightly in surprise.

           “That’s right.  How did you know?”  She looked quizzically up at him, not taken aback when he put an arm about her and pulled her to lean against him.

           “Sometimes I know more about what goes on in that pretty head of yours than you think I do,” he informed her with the gentle smile she had come to know so well in recent days.

           “That’s disturbing,” she chuckled, belying her words.

           “Just want to keep you on your toes.”  He kissed the top of her head lightly.

           “That’s Kayla’s job,” Kate told him in mock seriousness.  She settled against him, and once more, they gazed out on the spectacular view of the bay at sunset.

           “You know, Crane,” she said suddenly, struck by a thought.  “It’s really too bad that we don’t love each other.”  She sighed faintly.

           “Yup, too bad,” he echoed.

           “Let’s just sit here like this until the sun goes down, okay?”  She asked, her voice a little forlorn, as a wave of melancholy swept over her.

           “Anything you want, Katy,” he replied and held her a little bit tighter.

 

 

............. Chapter Ten

           “Crane, I have no intention of letting you sell either Gabe or Midnight!”  Kate repeated for what seemed to her the fiftieth time since supper.

           “The ranch needs the money, Kate,” he countered reasonably.  “Some of Sam’s investments didn’t turn out exactly the way he had hoped and planned.  We have to start thinking about winter feed and stuff like that.  Calls for money, you know.”  He stowed the last of the supper dishes in the cupboard and turned to regard her with a steady blue gaze.

           “I really don’t want to discuss it any further.  I will not sell those horses and that’s all there is to it.”  She told him stubbornly.  It seemed as if ever since their return from San Francisco almost two months ago, they spent more time arguing than anything else.  Of course, they usually made up in an energetic fashion that she could not deny she enjoyed.

           “Why do you and Adam insist upon irritating me with all these wonderful ideas of yours that make absolutely no sense to me?”  She demanded, stalking into the living room.

           “We like to see how red your face will get when you get upset,” he retorted sarcastically, his patience slipping away.

           “It does not!”  She protested, ready to fight over anything at this point.  She flopped down on the sofa and glared at him, chin lifted into its fighting stance.

           “Stop changing the subject.  We have to get this settled at least before the snow sets in.”  Kate knew he was angry with her.  He never got sarcastic unless his McFadden temper was beginning to boil.  Adam yelled, Brian punched walls and Crane got sarcastic, which she was certain was by far the worst.

           “The bottom line is this, Crane, as far as I’m concerned.  I am not selling Gabe.  Grandad gave him to me for my sixteenth birthday and he’ll not leave this ranch.  And as for Midnight, he’s the best piece of horseflesh on this place.  Stallions like him don’t come along every day.  If we have to get rid of some of our horses, we should keep him to build up our breeding stock.  Besides, once he’s broken, I intend to ride him.”  She lit a cigarette and gave him a pointed look.  “Case closed.”

           “You realize that there’s no way that any other two horses you own will bring the money that those two will,” Crane reminded her, bending over to light the fireplace.  Kate stifled the urge to bounce up and kick him one in the posterior, remembering the last time she had done something of that sort.  He had thrown her over his shoulder and taken her upstairs to dunk her under the cold spray of the shower.

           “So we eat a lot of hamburger this winter.  Who cares?”  She would not be moved from her decision.  Her signature was needed fro anything they chose to do and she had no intention of signing a thing.

           “It could be a little more complicated that that.  Do you understand what could happen if we fall short during the winter?”  Crane asked, settling into one of the large armchairs that flanked the fireplace.

           “Crane, if you and Adam hadn’t insisted on us having such a huge wedding, we’d have some extra money to play with right now, wouldn’t we?”  She countered sweetly.

           “And your grandfather would come back to haunt all of us.  I don’t need a ghost making me feel guilty on top of everything else.”  He sighed and sank lower into the chair, propping his feet up on the coffee table.

           “Will you stop!”  Kate exclaimed, surprised at his flippancy.   “Ghosts!  Do you think I’m totally stupid?”  She glared at him.

           “No, just damned stubborn.”  He shook his head ruefully.  “Are you that attached to those two animals?  So much so that you’re willing to jeopardize the running of the Bar C this winter?  It won’t leave us much chance for leeway should anything else go wrong.”  He rubbed his eyes tiredly.

           “Crane, let’s just take this one day at a time.  Don’t figure on something else going wrong, figure on things going right for a change.  God knows, it’s about time things went right around her.  Sell some of the others if we have to, but please, don’t touch Gabe or Midnight,” Kate said calmly.  She’d had enough of this argument to last her for a while, her head was beginning to ache.  Contrary to what her husband thought, she did not enjoy arguing with him.  Adam was a different story, she had to admit, but when she fought with Crane, it always left her so drained and she didn’t know why.

           “Whatever you want, Kate.”  He spread his hands helplessly, knowing that she was not about to change her mind.  “We’ll sell the five we mentioned, but not those two.  But let me tell you one thing, if that stallion doesn’t produce some damned nice foals, I’m going to take it out on your hide.”  He gave her a half-hearted grin.

           “Don’t worry, Brian says he’s a prime stud,” Kate laughed, relieved that the whole thing was finally finished and that she had succeeded in keeping both horses where they belonged.

           “And Brian should know.”  Kate wasn’t certain, but she thought she heard a touch of bitterness in his tone, but put it down to the fact that this volatile discussion had gone on for most of the day.

           “I’m going up to bed and read for a while,” she said, stifling a yawn.  “Kayla’s coming home tomorrow and I promised Hannah I’d take her into town for her doctor’s appointment, so it’ll be a busy day.”  She got to her feet and stretched. 

           “I’ll be up a little later,” he told her, pointing towards the pile of ledgers that lay on one end of the coffee table.  “I told Adam I’d finish those as soon as possible, and that was three days ago.”  He chuckled slightly.  “I’m having trouble balancing.”

           “Well, don’t stay up to late,” she admonished in a wifely tone before climbing the stairs.

           “Yes dear,” his wry reply floated up the stairwell after her and she grinned in amusement.

 

           Kate awoke with a start.  She must have been dreaming, she realized, for the night was quiet, no bombs or anything breaking the silence.  She snuggled down under the blankets once again, then realized that she was alone in the large double bed that had once belonged to her grandfather.    Puzzled, she cast her gaze about the darkened room, looking for the familiar shadow of her husband and finding nothing.

           “He couldn’t still be working on those stupid books,” she muttered, looking at her watch in the strong moonlight.    Curious, she got out of bed and pulled on her robe.  If he was still working, he’d probably lost track of the time, for it was well past midnight, late by their standards.

           A single light burned in the living room, its glow enhanced by that of the dying fire.  In his chair, oblivious to the world, Crane slept, ledger book opened on his lap, glasses riding down the end of his nose.  Kate could not stop the amused yet fond chuckle that welled up in her throat.  She wished she had a camera to catch the picture he made.  As quietly as she could, she took the book from him and lay it on the table, then inched the glasses from his nose.

           “Crane,” she called softly, switching off the lamp.  “C’mon Crane, wake up and get upstairs to your bed.”  She shook her head.  He was more likely than not going to have a stiff neck, sleeping in that position.  Gently, she touched his shoulder.  “Crane, wake up.”

           “I’m out by fifty-three ninety-one,” he murmured, opening his eyes a fraction and stretching.  “I have to find it.”  He passed a hand over his face in an effort to clear his sleep-filled vision and Kate sighed.

           “Not tonight, you don’t,” she disagreed.  “I’ll help you find it tomorrow,” she bargained, hands on hips, amused by his tousled, sleepy manner.

           “You’re awfully eager for me to get to bed, Kate,” he observed, a wicked glint appearing through the sleepiness in his eyes.

           “You’re tired!”  She blushed at his implication.

           “Not that tired,” he countered, pulling her down on his lap.  Why, she wondered, did it always end like this.  Fight all day, then as if nothing had occurred, at night they could barely keep their hands off each other.

           “Crane, this is not the place for…”  He put a gentle hand over her mouth.

           “Says who?”  He asked, causing her eyes to widen in surprise.  He caught her off-guard too often with these sudden bursts of impulsiveness that were so unlike him.  “Kayla comes home tomorrow, so let’s make use of what privacy we have left.”  He took his hand away from her mouth and replaced it with his lips.  With a small shrug of helplessness in the face of this onslaught to her senses, she gave in to the urges that were so easy for him to stir. 

 

           Kate’s first waking thought was that the old chair wasn’t as uncomfortable to sleep in as she had thought.  The second was that the scent of freshly brewed coffee was wonderful to wake up to.  With a sleepy smile, she stretched and opened her eyes. 

           “What time is it?”  She asked her husband who was just entering the living room with two steaming mugs of coffee.

           “Six-thirty,” he replied, setting the mugs down.  “Push over and let me back in.”  He grinned down at her and she found herself thinking that he really should walk around in only his jeans more often.  She liked the picture that it made, she told herself, moving about in the large chair so that he could return to where he had spent the night.

           “Your shirts make excellent pajamas,” she noted, once they were both settled and she could reach for her coffee.

           “Glad it could be of service,” he returned as she snuggled into the crook of his arm.

           “Do you realize that this is the time of the day that we get along the best?”  She asked suddenly.  Thinking back over the short time of their marriage, it became clear to her that the time they spent waking up was usually he happiest time.  They never fought, seemingly content just to lay together and talk in a desultory fashion about innocuous things.

           “Probably because we’re too tired for anything else,” he observed wryly, his free hand toying with a strand of her long hair.  She disagreed silently with him.  She thought it was because at this hour of the day they had yet to let the real world intrude upon their lives.  It was almost as if they could forget that they didn’t love each other, that there was no ranch to run and no tension threatening to destroy the fragile bond that had sprung up between them.

           “Katy, I’m sorry about yesterday,” he said suddenly. “I should have realized that those stupid horses meant a lot to you.  Especially Gabe.  It’s just that sometimes I tend to forget that there’s more to running a place than just profit and loss sheets.”  He smiled almost guiltily at her.

           “It’s that accountant part of you that tends to surface in awkward moments, but I guess you have to use that university degree of yours sometimes,” she chuckled, making light of the incident.  “Let’s just forget about the whole thing, okay?”  She suggested, not wanting to mar the contentment of the morning before she positively had to.  “Let’s talk about getting a dog for the ranch instead.”  She grinned.

           “Since when do you want a dog?”  He demanded in surprise.

           “Ever since I was eight years old,” she told him very seriously.  “Remember, we all went to see ‘Old Yeller’ in Sonora?”  She proceeded to explain exactly why they needed a dog and what kind of animal it should be, until he could bear it no longer and began to laugh in vast amusement.

           “Far be it from me to deny you what you’ve dreamed about for all these years,” he chuckled finally.  “You find the one that you want and we’ll get it, although I think that a cross between Lassie, Rin Tin Tin and Snoopy is going to be a bit difficult to locate.”  He began to laugh again much to her mock indignation.

           “I’ll find one, you wait and see, Crane McFadden,” she warned, and he only laughed that much harder.

 

           “Adam, it really isn’t any of our business,” Hannah observed as she and her husband began to clear the table of breakfast dishes.  The others had all disappeared to their chores, and the couple was left alone for one of the few times during the day.

           “I can’t help it if I worry about him,” Adam protested.  “Kate too.  It just doesn’t seem normal.”  He shook his dark head in uncomprehension.

           “Has anything about any of your brothers ever seemed normal?”  Hannah countered, endeavouring to keep a down-to-earth view of the whole thing. 

           “Sweetheart, they fight all the time!”  He repeated in exasperation.

           “From what you tell me, they always have,” she reminded him.  She refused to admit to her husband that she had been worrying about the very same thing.  It would only convince him that it was his duty to stick his nose into Crane and Kate’s married life, and it really wasn’t any of his business.

          “That was when they were kids.”  He would not be turned from the subject, that much was obvious, so Hannah settled in for what she thought would be a long conversation.  “And it’s not the same thing as when Kate fights with me.  It’s almost as if she enjoys that, but when she and Crane start to go at it, and he gets so sarcastic, then she gets almost wild, well, I can think of a million places I’d rather be.  I’m actually surprised that they haven’t succeeded in killing each other yet.”  He poured himself another cup of coffee and looked helplessly at his wife.  He couldn’t help being concerned about the two of them, Hannah realized.  It came from bringing up the family after his parents had passed away.  He’d always worry about his brothers, even when they were all grandfathers.

           “Adam, I think you’re exaggerating a little.”  She tried to appease him with reason.  “Besides, you can’t expect them to have a perfect marriage.  No one does, not even us,” she grinned and settled her hands on her swelling midriff.

           “You could be right, but still, I can’t help thinking that there’s something going on between them that we don’t know about.”  Adam sipped at his coffee, brown eyes clouded with worry and suspicion.

           “Adam, they’re both adults, and I think they can run their own life without us knowing every little detail,” she reminded him.

           “I still think there’s something going on,” he repeated stubbornly and she sighed.  He wasn’t about to give into her appeals, so all she could hope for was that he wouldn’t do anything to make the situation worse, however well-meaning his intentions were.  Neither Kate nor Crane would appreciate it, she was certain.

           “Look, here comes Kate now,” she said, looking out the window.  “She’s coming into town with me, so maybe I’ll try and talk to her about it.  In an obtuse way, of course.  I don’t want her to think that I’m prying, but we have gotten to be close lately, so maybe she’ll let me in on a few things.  Just try not to worry about it.”  She gave him a quick kiss on the cheek.  “And whatever you do, don’t start pumping Crane when you see him later.  You know what his reaction will be if he thinks you’re interfering,” she warned.

           “Well, I still don’t like it,” he muttered and she gave up.  He’d do exactly as he wanted and she could only hope that it wouldn’t cause a rift in the family that would be too wide to mend.  Putting that worry to the back of her mind, she went to meet her sister-in-law.

           “How are you feeling this morning?”  Kate asked as she breezed into the house.

            “Can’t complain.  Haven’t had any morning sickness for the past few weeks, which makes everyone feel better around here,” Hannah chuckled in reply.    Her mad dashes to the bathroom in the morning had set the whole household on its ear.

           Chatting companionably, the girls got on their way to Murphys, planning how to fill the time between Hannah’s appointment and Kayla’s arrival.  As they talked, Hannah watched for an opening in the conversation that would allow her to broach the subject on her mind.  She was more worried that she had let on to her husband, and was just as determined to find out what was going on.

           “Crane figures that by next summer, everything should be okay with the ranch.  You know, all of Grandad’s investments and stuff.  He’s planning a few of his own, but I don’t know, he’ll have to convince me first.”  Kate’s tone was light, but Hannah knew fighting words when she heard them.

           “Wouldn’t it be easier on everybody if you went along with him once in a while?”  Hannah asked, trying to appear nonchalant.  “I mean, he must have some good ideas sometimes.”  She shrugged, watching Kate’s reaction from the corner of her eye.

           “I’m not saying that some of them aren’t good, they’re just not for the Bar C,” the redhead explained.  “Besides, Crane would probably drop down dead if I started agreeing with him,” she added with a grin.  Hannah sighed.  This was getting her nowhere in a hurry.  Wondering if she was doing the right thing, she decided to take the bull by the horns and ask an outright question.

           “Kate, are you and Crane happy?  Are you getting along alright?”  She turned in her seat to look directly at her sister-in-law.

           “What left field did that fly out of?”  Kate seemed quite surprised by the query.  “What makes you think we aren’t?”  Was it her imagination, or did Hannah detect a slight note of panic in Kate’s tone.

           “Well, you argue so much, I just started to worry, I guess,” she admitted a little guiltily.

           “Hannah.”  Kate reached over to pat her arm.  “Don’t worry, we’re fine.  Don’t let something like our constant disagreements upset you.  If you’ll think back, we only really argue about the ranch,” she reminded.

           “I’m sorry, I guess my motherly instincts just got the better of me,” Hannah smiled, but inside, she had the feeling that Kate was not telling the whole truth.

 

............. Chapter Eleven

           “Have you guys ever tried to do anything sort of off-the-cuff?”  Kate asked the group of teenagers gathered around her.  Evan’s dancing class had somehow become hers to teach.  It had begun when his teacher had sprained her knee and needed someone to replace her for a week or two.  The week or two had grown into a month, and not it seemed that Kate’s temporary replacing had turned into outright inheritance.  Who had ever been able to resist Evan’s coercing smile?

           “What do you mean, off-the-cuff?”  A petite girl on her left asked.

           “We just put some music on and you develop your moves as the music progresses,” Kate explained.

           “We’ve never done something like that in class,” one of the boys shook his head.  “Mrs. Clayton kept us pretty much to set stuff.”

           “Can we try it?”  Evan asked, obviously intrigued by the suggestion as was the rest of the class.  Sent to the class the year before as punishment for horsing around at football practice, he was now one of the most eager students.

           “Give us an idea first,” the petite girl, whose name was Beth, urged and the others nodded.

           “Okay,” Kate agreed, turning to her young brother-in-law.  “How about you giving it a spin with me?”  He nodded, and Kate grinned.  She went over to the tape player and selected a tape, one of her favorite songs of course, it always helped.

           “We just do whatever we want?”  Evan asked, as the opening notes of the song sounded from the speakers.

          “That’s right,” Kate confirmed.  “You know this song, so it’ll be a little easier for your first time.”   She smiled reassuringly.

           The song she had chosen was ‘Come Sail Away’ by the rock group Styx, one of hers and Evan’s favorites.  It began slowly, then built to a rousing climax, giving them the chance to explore many facets of their dancing.  She moved about the floor, watching Evan, reacting to the way he moved, the emotions he presented.  It was obvious to the enthralled students that the two of them were on the same wavelength.  They never stumbled over each other, never missed a step, seemingly very sure of themselves.  At the end of the song, applause rang out through the studio, followed by a clamouring for them all to have a chance at this new way of expressing themselves.

           “Okay,” Kate gulped for breath, grinning broadly at the success of her suggestion.  “Clare, you pick out a song and all of you try it.  Just don’t get too carried away and cause pile-ups all over the place,” she chuckled, sinking into a nearby chair.  She must be out of shape, she observed to herself as the students went excitedly about the business of off-the-cuffing, as they were to call it.  Her head was spinning and she couldn’t seem to get enough air into her lungs.

           “Feeling old?”  Her husband’s voice asked from the doorway.  She turned to give him a pale smile.

           “Ancient,” she amended.  “You’re early.”  He had told her he would arrive to pick her and Evan up after the class, once he had disposed of some business at the bank, but she had not expected him for another half an hour.

           “I finished as quickly as I could, because I wanted to check out what you were doing over here,” he told her, entering the studio.  “Looks like you have a lot of fun.”  He watched the laughing students, an amused smile on his bearded face.

           “That we do,” she agreed, somewhat touched by his interest.

           “Are you okay?”  He turned his attention back to her.  “You look a little pale.”  His blue eyes were filled with concern.  “Maybe this is taking more out of you than you thought it would?”

           “Don’t be silly, Crane,” she admonished, slightly irritated.  “I did this for a living for years.  I guess I’m just a little tired.”

           “Yeah?  Well, take it easy, okay?”  He moved his gaze back to the bouncing students and she stifled an urge to hit him.  Sometimes he could be so high-handed.  Just like Adam.  She supposed that it ran in the family.

           She was learning more about the grown McFaddens every day.  Living with Crane as his wife helped, but Adam’s appearance at the Bar C at least three times a week and Brian’s constantly being underfoot now that Kayla was home was giving her more insight than she ever wanted.   She was finding the going hard, harder than she had thought it would be.  Seeing Brian almost every day was wearing her nerves to a frazzle.  How was she supposed to forget about him when he sat down on their dinner table five nights out of seven?  She had been doing so well before her twin had come home, but now that the second McFadden brother had begun t develop a healthy interest in Kayla, it was difficult to put him out of her mind.  Damned near impossible, as a matter of fact.

           “Kate, that was fun!”  One of the girls bounced up to her, a wide smile on her young face.  “Can we do it again?”  Echoes of agreement sounded from the whole class and Kate nodded.  It would suit her just fine, because to be honest, she was completely tired out.  A hot bath and a cup of tea were uppermost in her mind right now.

 

           Kate heaved a sigh of immense relief and contentment as she sank lower into the steaming tub.  She had been quite right in thinking that she needed a hot bath to make her feel better.  Even after only five minutes, the aches were beginning to leave her tired body, to be replaced by a pleasant lethargy that she was all too willing to let overtake her.  Languidly, she brushed away stray bubbles from her face and luxuriated in the fragrant heat.  At times like this, she could almost forget the mess her life was in.  Married to a man she would rather call a friend, loving his brother, yet drawn to her husband in a physical way that was almost obscene.  Her twin sister becoming involved with the very same man that she herself loved but could not have.  It was enough to drive any normal woman totally insane.  But what did she do?  She went on with her life in the only way she could, trying not to think about it.

           “So why are you?”  She asked herself aloud, slipping lower into the tub until the water lapped at her chin.  These old bathtubs were great, so deep and long, one could actually get comfortable in them.  Resolutely, she put all the disturbing thoughts from her mind and concentrated on relaxing, closing her eyes to shut out the world.

            “Don’t let yourself fall asleep, kiddo, you might drown yourself.”  Crane’s voice was amused as he entered the bathroom a while later.  She opened one eye, debating upon giving him a hard time for disturbing her privacy, but relented when she saw the cup of tea in his hand.

           “How did you know that this was what I needed?”  She asked, taking the cup from him, careful not to disturb the abundance of bubbles that hid her naked form.

           “I keep telling you that I know more about you than you think I do,” he responded maddeningly.  She glared at him, biting back a sharp comment as he leaned against the sink, appearing as if he was planning on staying.  “I’m worried about you, Katy,” he said finally.  “You didn’t look too good today at the studio, and the past week or two you haven’t seemed to be your usual energetic self.”  His eyebrows met over his nose in a concerned frown.

           “My biorhythms must be on a downswing,” she answered, her tone slightly acid.  It was disturbing to her to have him there while she sat in the bathtub, her only protection a mound of bubbles that were by this time beginning to disintegrate at a rather alarming rate.

           “I that kind of mood, are we?”  He raised one eyebrow in speculation.

           “I am, but I don’t know about you,” she retorted, not liking the sudden insecurity she was feeling, not certain if she liked the way he was looking at her with a light in his eyes that was all too familiar.

           “Are you spoiling for a fight again, Kathleen?”  He asked, coming to stand by the edge of the tub and look down at her, wickedness apparent in every line of his face.  She almost hated him when he got this way, preferring the more easy-going manner he usually displayed.

           “It seems to be what we do best.”  In dismay, she realized that her protective covering of soap bubbles was all but gone.

           “If you say so,” he agreed, but every line of his body told a different story.

           “Crane, if you don’t get out of here, I’ll do something you’ll regret,” she warned, not certain of what that would be.  All she wanted was to be free of his suddenly disturbing presence.  The desire he was stirring deep within her suddenly had the ability to frighten with its intensity.  At that moment, she wished she had never returned to Carbon County.  She must have known, deep inside that she could never be completely indifferent to this man, even if she loved another.

           “I don’t regret much,” he told her, his hand suddenly swooping down to grab one slender leg about the ankle as it rested on the edge of the bathtub.  Before she realized what was happening, he lifted her leg, and her head went under the water, drowning her angry cry. 

           “Sometimes you’re positively hateful!”  She cried out, struggling back to a sitting position, this time completely unconcerned about the lack of bubbles.

           “So you’ve mentioned on occasion,” he agreed, amusement dancing in his eyes as he took the tea cup from her unprotesting fingers.

           “Two can play at that game!” She grabbed his wrist and pulled with all her might.  Caught off balance, all that he could do was endeavor not to crack his head on the edge of the tub as he tumbled in on top of her.  Water splashed everywhere as he righted himself, laughing in vast amusement, much to her displeasure.  She had not meant for him to enjoy the dunking.  “Now get out of here or Kayla will think that we’re murdering each other,” she commanded, confused by his reaction.

           “Kayla’s gone over to the Circle Bar Seven,” he informed her, sitting between her feet, his own long legs hooked over the edge of the tub.

           “Well get out anyway!”  She splashed at him in frustration.  He grabbed her hands and shook his head negatively.

           “The last time I shared a bathtub with someone, it was my two older brothers who took turns drowning a poor three-year old.  It’s much more interesting sharing one with you.”  He moved so that he could pull her closer to him, despite her reluctance.

           “Crane, I really could hate you if I tried hard enough,” she said, her breath catching in her throat.  He knew exactly what to do to make her forget that she didn’t love him.  Her body could not resist the efforts of his roaming hands and now mouth on her soapy skin.  And she did not want it to, she realized, helping him find a more comfortable position for the both of them.  She had never dreamt that a simple caress could be so erotic as his hand slid down the silky length of her thigh.  Never had she thought to be making love in a bathtub and enjoying it immensely.

           “Think about it, do you really want me to leave?”  He asked softly, his mustache tickling her ear, sending electric shock waves throughout her whole body.  His teeth closed gently on her earlobe and her denial came out as more of a moan than a word.  She wanted him desperately, the intensity of her anger being redirected to desire.  Eagerly, she helped him divest himself of his wet clothing, reveling in the feel of his leanly muscled body under her hands.  It was a form that she was intimately familiar with, but now it seemed as if she were discovering it for the first time.

           “Crane, this is terribly obscene,” she laughed, her voice seductively throaty as she looked down into his face.  Her long hair, which she had bound up in a twist on her head prior to her bath had come loose and now hung down, framing her face.  With an abandoned chuckle, she tossed her head back, spraying them with droplets of water.

           “Katy, I…oh, Lord!”  With a groan, he tangled one hand in her hair and pulled her down to him, kissing her with a fiery passion that she was certain would engulf her totally.  Somehow, one of them managed to pull the plug to let the water drain from the tub, allowing them the freedom from worry of drowning as their slick, damp bodies entwined together with an urgency that drove all else from their minds.  Kate was conscious only of him and the wild, raw passion he was evoking from her.  She never wanted it to end, never wanted to stop the near-plundering of her mouth by his.  After a century of turbulent, swirling sensation, she could stand it no longer.  His name wrenched from her as almost a sob and she clung to him fiercely, knowing that he felt the same depth of sensual fulfillment that wracked her body.

           “Oh, Crane!”  She gasped, and collapsed into his warm, comforting arms, where she lay for a long while, tears inexplicably running down her cheeks.

           “Katy, are you crying?”  He asked, tilting her head upwards to see for himself.  “You are.”  Astonishment and worry turned his eyes to a deeper blue.  “I didn’t hurt you, did I?”  He demanded, and she shook her head mutely.  “Then what?”  He ran a gentle finger down the side of her face.

           “I just never felt like that before.  I guess I got a little overwrought,” she smiled faintly.

           “C’mon, let’s get you to bed,” he suggested, businesslike, yet concerned.  Moments later, a towel wrapped carelessly about his midriff, he hauled her from the tub and wrapped a large bath sheet about her form.  “Kate, sometimes you frighten me,” he told her with an affectionate grin as he gathered her into his arms.

           “Crane, I can walk you know,” she told him, stifling a yawn, hoping he wouldn’t ask her to.

           “I don’t want you to,” he informed her and she did not argue.  It was pleasant to be treated as if she would break once in a while.  She reached up to run a hand through his damp curls.  She was so tired, but it was a good tired, she decided as he lay her on their bed and sat beside her.  She smiled sleepily up at him, totally worn out and almost asleep.

           “You know, I wish that I could love you,” she said with a deep sigh.  “It would be so much easier.”  She snuggled down under the blankets, almost oblivious to everything now.

           “Much,” he agreed with a shake of his head and turned out the light.

 

           Kate stared at the doctor in disbelief, her hands instinctively going to her abdomen.  He nodded, a smile on his creased face and she let out a long breath.  It was true.  She was pregnant.  Crane would have his family after all.  She would have a baby; a little boy with McFadden blue eyes, or a tiny girl with red hair like she and her sister.

           “Make an appointment for next month,” the doctor reminded her as she left his office.  “We have to make sure we get the next flock of McFaddens off to a good start.”

           “Thank you,” she said, still dazed by the news.  She made the appointment with the secretary and left the medical center, her mind a million miles away from the main street of Murphys.  She was not ready to go home yet, she wanted to savour this new turn in her life on her own for a while yet.

           Crane would be happy when she told him.  His family was so important to him; to all the McFaddens.  She remembered the outburst when Hannah had made her announcement.  It was as if the McFaddens were the first family to ever have a baby born into it.  Well, she had done what she had set out to do.  Crane had fixed it so that she and Kayla could keep the ranch, and in return, she had promised a real marriage and a family.  She wondered what he would want, a boy or a girl.  A son maybe?  One that would do as his father, grow up to go to university and get a degree?  A doctor, she thought with a happy little chuckle.  But no, she decided after a while.  Crane would want a little girl.  A daughter who would grow up to be a lovely young woman, one who would be protected by her doting father; for Kate had no doubts that Crane would be such a father to a little girl.  He would adore a little imp of a daughter.  She sighed happily and hugged her middle, conscious of the life that grew within her.

 

Chapter Twelve

           Kayla leaned against the porch railing, gazing up at the night sky, marveling at the abundance of stars that twinkled down at her.  It fascinated her, the night sky, it made her want to toss off her shoes and socks and run through the damp grass, jumping into pirouettes and jettes just for the pleasure of it.  From inside the house came the sounds of music and laughter.  Evan and Ford were trying out a new song on their guitars and seemed to be having a bit of difficulty.  She heard Guthrie claime that they had better call Crane because they sounded awful.  She grinned into the darkness.  Never a dull moment at the Circle Bar Seven.

           “Penny for your thoughts.”  A voice said near her ear, causing her to jump.  She leaned back against Brian’s accommodating form and shook her head.

           “Just silly thoughts,” she told him.  She felt his hand on her hair and smiled.  He was quite unlike the Brian McFadden she had thought he would grow up to be. At least as far as she was concerned.  She had not expected the sudden turns of gentleness, the quick understanding of her sometimes silly ways and thoughts, the patience with her non-comprehension about ranch things.

           “Do you remember the night we took you girls out raccoon hunting?”  He asked suddenly, chuckling under his breath.

           “You three were so mean to us that night!”  She turned to face him, the memory bringing a blush to her cheeks.  “Taking us out into the woods and leaving us there.  We trusted you guys, you know.  We were only little!”  Her green eyes lit with merriment.  “We thought we were headed for Hansel and Gretel heaven when we realized you weren’t there anymore.  Kate kept saying that Adam would surely find us, but I wasn’t so sure because I’d gotten him into trouble the day before.  We were so scared, especially when you started making all those spooky noises.”

           “Well, as I remember, it was Adam who finally called a halt to the whole thing.  Crane and I were all for leaving the both of you out there for the whole night, but he felt sorry for you when you started to cry.”  Brian smiled in fond remembrance.

           “Kate never cried,” Kayla offered musingly.  “I always did.  See, I think I always knew that tears would get you guys to give in, but there was no way that Kate would lower herself.  She wanted to be one of the boys and was determined that none of you could make her cry.  I guess she still does, the way she goes on with Adam and Crane,” she added ruefully.  “Ooh, sometimes they rock the house with their arguments.  At least with Adam.  They yell at each other something awful.  She and Crane sort of dig at each other with words.”  She shrugged.  “I don’t know what gets into any of them.”

           “They’re all pig-headed,” Brian offered with a laugh.  “But, I guess Kate and Crane do okay other than that.”  He pulled her against his chest once again and she didn’t resist.

           “I think so, but you’d never know it sometimes,”  She sighed once again.  There was something odd about the couple she lived with.  Nothing she could put her finger on, but something was definitely not as it should be.  She worried about it at times, times when the two of them would glare at each other across the table and refuse to speak to each other.  Times when a hooded look would come over Crane’s expression and it was anyone’s guess what was going on inside his head, or when Kate would fly off the handle for no apparent reason.  Then it was over, as if it had never happened.

          “Let’s not talk about them,” Brian suggested.  “Let’s talk about me and you for a while.”  He drew her over to the porch swing, where they sat close together, his arm about her.

           “Me and you?  What about us?  I thought we were doing pretty good?”  Kayla smiled up into his blue eyes.  They were so incredibly blue, she found herself thinking.  With that dark hair and the tanned skin of his rugged face, they were quite breathtaking.

           “We’re doing fine as far as I’m concerned,” he told her. “I was just wondering if you were happy about the way we are.”  He brushed his knuckles lightly over her lips.

           “Oh yeah,” she said softly, flickers of desire kindling through her.  Unlike her twin, the strong sexual attraction she felt for her man did not scare her.  She knew she and Brian shared something special and she luxuriated in that knowledge.  Late the previous afternoon, when she and Brian had made love for the first time, down by the stream in the same woods that had so frightened her as a child, she had known it was right and unlike anything that had gone before.  She could wait for everything else.  It would come, she was certain.

           “There’s a nice little piece of land over by the boundary to your place.  You know, near that little clearing?”  Brian ran his finger along the side of her chin, his eyes drinking in the curves of her face.  “I think I’m going to build a little place there one of these days.”  His finger trailed along the side of her neck, sending delicious shivers down her spine.  “With a big bay window.”  It outlined the vee of her sweater along her sensitive skin.

           “I like bay windows,” she breathed.

           “I thought so,” he said smugly and pulled her to him once again, this time finding her lips with his and trapping then in a long, lingering kiss.

           “It’s gonna take some time,” he told her a long while later, his breathing slightly erratic as was hers.

           “It has to be done right,” she agreed, moving deeper into the curve of his arm.  She ran her hand along the muscled ridges from elbow to wrist and back again.

           “Is there any other way?”  He asked rhetorically and she smiled.  There would be no more talk of the small house for a while, this she knew, but it was a sure thing.  It was settled between them.  Brian could never live under Adam’s roof once he had taken a wife.  He was too damned proud and independent.  For the same reason, he would not think of the Bar C as home.  She agreed.  Once day, they would have their bay window and it would belong to no one but the two of them.  It was funny, she thought, but they never even had to tell one another of their love.  They knew it instinctively.

           “Hey, if you two have finished smooching, come in and have some of Hannah’s blueberry pie.”  Guthrie called out through the screen door.  “It’s hot out of the oven and does it smell good!”

           “What if we haven’t finished?”  Brian called back teasingly, causing Kayla to blush furiously.  “I don’t want to finish,” he murmured.

           “We’ll just postpone for a little while,” she laughed, feeling warm all over.  There must be something about McFadden men, she thought wryly, pulling him to his feet.  There were all so damned sexy!

 

           Kate took a long haul on her cigarette, not knowing whether she was more hurt or angry.  Confused she certainly was.  She had been so excited upon hearing the news about the baby and pleased at the thought of telling her husband of their good fortune.  She had imagined the way his eyes would open wide with a look of wonder and amazement and how his bemused chuckle would turn into outright shouts of happy laughter.  The picture had been so vivid in her mind.  It had not happened that way however.

           Upon arriving home and finding that he was not in the house, she ran to the barn, figuring correctly that he would be in the middle of the chores.  She found him in one of the stalls, checking the hooves of one of the mares they had kept.  Excitedly she had blurted out her news, certain that he would be just as thrilled, if not more so than she.  To her shocked confusion, all the colour had drained from his face, his blue eyes darkening with some violent emotion.  She had said his name in a small, bewildered voice, hoping that it was only the sudden way in which she had announced his paternity that had him reacting so strangely, but he shook his head, his mouth drawn into one thin, hard line.

           “Are you certain?”  Even his tone of voice was harsh, and she had almost cringed from it, nodding mutely.  “That’s all we damned well need around here!”  His every word cut her to the quick and she could only watch silently as he turned on his heel and stalked from the barn, his back rigid with anger.

           She had cried then.  Cried for the unfairness of it all.  Nothing was going right in her life.  She had thought that this baby might give them a better chance for a successful marriage, but it appeared to have done the exact opposite.  He was obviously regretting whatever had prompted him to enter into this stupid union of theirs, and now with a child on the way, it only made things worse.  Why had she ever agreed to marry someone who didn’t love her in the first place?  She raged at him silently for a long while, cursing him for what he had done to her.  It had been a mistake to come home to live after her grandfather’s death.  She had avoided Crane McFadden with good reason for all those years, knowing that he held the ability to turn her life into a shambles.  For what must have been the millionth time in past months, she asked herself the same question.  Why couldn’t it have been Brian instead of Crane?

           She stubbed out her cigarette, determined to feel sorry for herself no longer.  She would not let him see that she had been foolish enough to let herself think that they actually could have had something between them.  She would have left him if she could, but there were too many things holding her here.  The child needed a proper home and she was not about to give up the ranch after all she had been through.  She would remain his wife, but in name only.  She was not about to let him conquer her with his love-makiing any more.  That was what had gotten her into this mess in the first place.  He would never touch her again if she could help it!

 

           He walked along way, never noticing where he was headed until he finally came to the fence that separated McFadden from Cantrell land.  With an explosive curse, he kicked at a fence post, pleased by the pain that shot through his foot and up his leg.  He deserved much worse, he was sure.  A horsewhipping wasn’t good enough for what he had done.  How Sam would hate him for what he had done to his beloved granddaughter.  And he would deserve every ounce of hatred the old man could give.

           It had seemed such a good idea all those months again when he had made his proposal to Kate.   How could he have been so stupid as to think that their childhood friendship could be built up into something that would last through the years, giving them some measure of happiness?  Now, thanks to the fact that he couldn’t keep his hands off her, she was carrying his child.  A child she would bear out of necessity, because he had been kind enough to offer her a way to keep her beloved ranch.  It was not supposed to have happened that way at all.  If only she hadn’t crept into his bed on their wedding night, bent on seducing him because she had promised him a normal marriage, he might have been able to control the unruly, demanding side of him he had not known he possessed.  They might have been able to settle into some sort of happy marriage before having to worry about a family.  He cursed Kate’s sense of duty.  It seemed so cruel that she was not able to give all her love to the man she wished to.  Instead, she had been locked into a relationship that could never hope to fulfill even half her dreams.  She deserved to be able to love her husband totally, not as a fond childhood friend who shared her bed.  And she deserved to have that love returned.  He knew she should have taken off for parts unknown when she returned to Carbon County.  He had never been able to forget the soft sweetness he had once held in his arms, no matter how hard he had tried.  And he had certainly tried.  Even now, when they fought like cat and dog, he still couldn’t resist that sideways way of looking at him that she had.

           He had treated her abominably back in the barn.  Despite the fact that she didn’t love him, she had been so pleased to be carrying his child.  And what had he done?  Acted like a real son of a bitch.  He’d hated the hurt look in her green eyes, the stricken look on her pert features.  But he had felt so damned guilty and angry that it was him and not her beloved Brian that had done this to her, that he had let his temper get away from him.  His mother had once told him that he possessed the same, seldom seen, black side that her father had.  It compensated for his normal, level-headed, understanding side, she told him.  She had also warned him that he would hurt someone badly one day if he wasn’t careful.  Well, he certainly hadn’t been careful, and he was certain he had hurt Kate badly.

           He wished he could talk to someone about the mess he had created for the both of them, but who?  Not Adam, he’d read him the riot act over and over again, too angry with him to understand.  And not Hannah, she was too busy with the baby on the way, and he refused to upset her with his problems.  And Brian was certainly not the one to confide in.  He was a main part of the problem, and Kayla would be bound to see everything from her twin’s point of view.  Daniel was the obvious one; they were close and had always understood one another’s foibles and weaknesses, but he was off on some music gig for the next few weeks.

           “Well, Crane, you’re in this one alone,” he told himself ruefully.  He hated himself for what he had done to Kate, but for the life of him, could not figure out what to do about it.  One thing was certain.  The baby could not be the one to suffer for all of this.  The baby.  Despite his self-incriminating black mood, he smiled at the thought.  His child.  For his or her sake, he had to find a way to right the intolerable situation he had created.

           He began to walk again.  It would be a very long time before he turned his footsteps back toward the Bar C.

 

 

Chapter Thirteen

           The days following Kate’s announcement were the longest days she had ever lived through, she decided.  After Crane’s reaction to the baby, she had not found the nerve to tell anyone else, even though she knew that Kayla suspected she was keeping something from her.  Tension was tight between herself and her husband, neither one of them indulging in more that stilted conversation and only when that was necessary.  Crane had not touched her since the evening in the barn, and that suited her just fine.  She couldn’t help feeling slightly piqued however, when at night she would go up to bed and he would stay in the living room, busying himself with paperwork or his nose stuck deep in a book.  The big bed never seemed so lonely.

           “Kathleen, stop feeling sorry for yourself!”  She ordered herself aloud, one afternoon after she had dissolved into tears for not the first time that day.  Determined to draw herself out of the sorry mood she was in, she headed for the barn, intending to saddle Gabe and head out for a long ride.  The doctor had told her that as long as she took it easy, there was no reason she should give up riding.

           Feeling better than she had felt for four days, she began to whistle as she saddled the big black gelding.  She ran a hand down his powerful neck, glad that she had won the fight to keep him.  He nickered in response, almost as if he was saying thank you, she thought fancifully.

           “I’m going to have a baby, Gabe,” she told him, going to his head and offering him an apple she had brought from the house.  His large head butted her gently and she smiled.  It was the first time she had uttered the words aloud since telling Crane, and a warm, marveling feeling flowed over her.  She was going to be a mother, she realized for the first time.  The responsibility of it rather frightened her.  Anyone could have baby, but not everyone could be a good mother.  “And I’m going to be a good mother,” she promised the horse as she led him from the barn.  He tossed his head in reply, and she found herself laughing for the first time in days.

           “Kate, what are you doing?”  Crane demanded, coming around the corner of the barn, his arms filled with planks of wood.  There was an odd look on his face that she had never seen before, she noticed.

           “I’m going to play golf,” she answered in a voice thick with sarcasm.  “What does it look like I’m doing?”  She turned her back to him, preparing to climb into the saddle, ignoring the sound of the wood crashing to the ground.

           “Kate, no.”  He reached her before she could even get her foot in the stirrup.  His hands fairly dug into her shoulders.

           “What do you mean no?”  She whirled on him, eyes blazing fiercely.  “I intend to go riding, so please take your hands off of me.”  She demanded coldly.

           “Kate, it isn’t safe,” he told her, his features taut with an emotion she had never before seen on them.  An emotion she couldn’t quite place.

           “What do you mean, it isn’t safe?”  Her voice was scornful, but inside she wished he would let her go before she became too aware of the hands that held her.  It would be too easy to take two steps forward and fall on his chest for a good, soothing cry.

           “It isn’t safe for the baby,” he said, and she recognized the emotion that consumed him.  It was fear.  Her heart melted slightly at the realization.  Maybe he did care about the baby after all.

           “The doctor said…”

           “Never mind what the doctor said,” he interrupted.  “Didn’t Hannah ever tell you about what happened last summer?”  His grip on her shoulders lessened somewhat and she could easily have twisted away from him.  If she wanted to.

           “What happened?”  She asked, her eyes growing rounder.

          “She was pregnant and she lost the baby,” he said quietly and she gasped.

           “She never told me.”  She shook her head as she spoke, knowing what a terrible time it must have been for all of them.  “Because of going riding?”  She asked, her voice small with sudden fear.

           “Well, no…  She had what they call an ectopic pregnancy, but I’m certain that her riding around like a crazy fool didn’t help.”  He went on to tell her of how he and Daniel had found their sister-in-law unconscious on the front porch of their home and the race to get her to the hospital in time to save her life.  Kate knew that Crane and Hannah were close, and she saw that the incident had left a deep impression on him.  He’d had the feeling that something wasn’t right since the beginning, but she had talked him out of it, saying that her little aches and pains were the normal things that pregnant women go through.  “Katy, she almost died,” Crane finished the tale, his blue eyes haunted.  “That’s why all of us are so hovery with her this time,” he explained.

           “I thought you were all getting a little carried away,” she nodded.  “But Crane, I’ll be okay.  The doctor told me everything was going to be fine if I took it easy.”  She wanted to reach up and smooth away the worry lines from his forehead, but didn’t dare after the past days.

           “Look, give me five minutes to saddle up my horse, and I’ll go with you.  I don’t want you going out alone, just in case.”  He looked hopefully at her, and she couldn’t refuse.  Not when it was so obvious that he was worried about their baby.

           “But you were gong to do some work on the barn today,” she protested half-heartedly.

           “It can wait,” he assured her.  “I don’t want anything to happen to either you or the baby, and I’ll feel much better keeping an eye on you.”  He smiled, a slightly crooked smile, one that he used when trying to coax her.

           “Well, if it will make you feel better,” she nodded.  She couldn’t stand to see the fear cloud his eyes.

           “Wait right there,” he grinned and dashed into the barn to saddle the chestnut mare he had brought with him from the Circle Bar Seven.

           “He can talk you into almost anything,” Kate told herself ruefully, patting Gabe’s neck.  She had to admit, however, that it was much more comfortable to be in agreement with her husband than at constant loggerheads.  Smiling, she leaned against her horse and waited for him to put in a reappearance.

           The early fall day was warm and sunny, made for a long, leisurely ride, Kate decided as she and Crane rode out of the barnyard.  It became obvious to her in a short time, that he was not about to let her indulge in a wild, exhilarating gallop, but to her surprise, she didn’t mind.  It was nice just to ride along, visiting the places that brought back so many childhood memories.  The tension of the past few days had all but disappeared, to be replaced by a pleasant companionship that had not existed between them since their honeymoon.

           “I’ve got an idea to bounce off you,” Crane said suddenly, breaking the silence that had fallen between them after one fond discussion of Sam Cantrell.

           “That’s a change,” she said, without pausing to think.  He gave her a baleful glance and she giggled.  Nothing was going to mar the easy camaraderie that had sprung up between them.

           “There’s not going to be a lot of room over at the Circle Bar Seven when the baby comes.  I know that Adam and Hannah are thinking of putting him…I’m betting on a boy… in with the boys, but somehow it just doesn’t seem fair to me.”  He shrugged.  “Anyhow, I thought that if you and Kayla didn’t mind, maybe we could ask Daniel to move into the guest room?  That would leave the room we used to share empty for the baby,” he explained.  Kate grinned.  Sleeping arrangements at the Circle Bar Seven were less than ideal.

           “Feeling outnumbered by having two women in the house?”  She teased.

           “It’s not a situation that I’m used to, you have to admit,” he chuckled.  “Always dreamt of it, mind you,” he added wickedly.  She gave him a sideways glance meant to wither, but he only laughed.  “What do you think?”

           “Well, I don’t see any problem with it,” she shrugged.  “And it ought to be of a help to you when I can’t do any of my normal chores.  Besides, Daniel and I always got along, so did he and Kayla.”

           “Daniel gets along with almost everyone except Adam,” Crane observed with a rueful chuckle.  “At any rate, if his music career ever gets going, he might not be around that much anyway.”

           “Ask Kayla about it tonight, but I’m sure she’ll say yes,” Kate told him, as the turned around and headed for home.

           “I’ll even cook her favorite supper,” Crane promised with a boyish grin.  Kate shook her head in amusement.  Yes, life was definitely easier when they managed to forget what had brought them together in the first place.

 

           “Crane, I have a dance class to teach, please don’t give me a hard time about it,” Kate sighed.  It had been a pleasant two days, no arguments or harsh words between them, but she had the feeling that it was all about to end.

           “Are you sure it’s such a good thing to be doing?”  He asked, putting the last of the lunch dishes in the sink.

           “She’s been doing it for over a month,” Daniel pointed out scornfully.  He had moved into the Cantrell house the night before, all for the idea, as Kayla had been.

           “I had forgotten that you were here,” Crane said sourly.  It was obvious that he had not remembered that most marital spats in the McFadden family were not conducted in private.

           “Lighten up, you look about ready to kill,” Kayla advised, emboldened by Daniel’s remark.  When her sister and brother-in-law got going, she tended to drift to another part of the house, but since it appeared that Daniel was not about to budge, neither was she.

           “Crane, it’s perfect all right.  I have no intention of doing anything remotely dangerous,” Kate told him, ignoring both Daniel and Kayla who still sat at the table enjoying a second cup of coffee after lunch.

           “How can a dance class be dangerous?”  Kayla demanded.  “Aside from a sprained ankle or two, that is,” she chuckled.

           “Kate…” Crane began again but go no further.

           “Oh, for heaven’s sake, give me a break!”  Kate exploded.  “I do have a brain in my head.  I’m not about to go pretending that I’m one of the students.  I just have to teach, I don’t have to do any of the stuff you’re so worried about!”  With an exasperated sigh she flung the dishrag into the sink so that its splash was directed towards the nearby Crane and stalked out of the room, head held high.

           “What is your problem?”  Daniel demanded, not understanding his brother’s reluctance over the subject of teaching a simple dance class.

           “Last week she almost passed out,” his brother told him, staring at the door through which his wife had just disappeared.

           “She was probably just a little run-down,” Kayla offered helpfully.  “Too much exertion when you’re tired can cause that.”

           “She’s not run-down, she’s pregnant,” Crane retorted, blue eyes dark with anger.

           “She’s what!”  Kayla and Daniel chorused in shock, and he nodded.

           “And she refuses to take it easy.”  He cursed under his breath and left the house.

           “I’ll take him, you take her,” Daniel suggested, and Kayla agreed.

           “I’m gonna be an aunt!”  She marveled as she climbed the stairs to her sister’s room.  She could hear Kate storming about inside and quelled a small grin.  Her twin’s violent temper was not new to her.

           “Don’t you dare come in here, Crane McFadden!”  Kate yelled, hearing the footsteps in the hallway.

           “It’s me,” Kayla said, entering the room.  “Don’t throw anything, please.” She knew the dangers.

           “Did he send you up here to talk some sense into me?”  Kate demanded acidly, zipping up her jeans.  They would soon be too tight, she realized.  “I suppose he told you.”  She sank down on the bed and glared at her sister.

           “No, he did not send me, and yes, he did tell us.”  Kayla replied to the questions.  Her tone said that she would brook no nonsense from her more volatile sister.  “Now, would you care to tell me why you’ve kept it a secret?  And why the two of you were fairly jumping down each other’s throats downstairs?”  She sat on the bed beside her twin and waited expectantly.

           “I was going to tell you, but the proper time never seemed to come,” Kate explained, wishing she could share the whole story.  “I only found out myself about a week ago,” she admitted.

           “Aren’t you happy about it?”  Kayla asked in puzzlement, thinking over her sisters actions of the past week.

           “Of course I’m happy!”  Kate exclaimed.

           “What about Crane?  Isn’t he happy?”  Kayla pursued.

           “Of course he is!”  Kate hoped that she was telling the truth, but to be honest she didn’t know for certain exactly how he felt about the coming child.

           “So what’s the problem?”  Kayla refused to give up.  Kate shook her head.

           “He doesn’t think I can do anything in my supposedly delicate condition,” she said scornfully.  She understood about the horseback riding, but this business about her dance class was just too ridiculous for her to swallow.  “And when he gets in that Adam ‘I forbid you’ McFadden mood, I just see red.”

           “Give the guy a break, Kate.  He’s obviously worried about you, that’s all.  And besides, all McFaddens tend to get a little high-handed at times,” Kayla said reasonably.  “It’s in their blood, I suppose.”

           “Well, I guess I’m a little edgy right now.  I hear it’s something all pregnant women go through,” Kate sighed.  It would ease her mind no end if she could tell her twin how she really felt, and why she and Crane always seemed to be ready for a battle royale, but she knew she couldn’t.  She would be so upset at what she had done, marrying a man she didn’t love, and then bearing his child, that she probably wouldn’t speak to Kate ever again.  And she would certainly be hurt.  Kayla was so sensitive sometimes, that if she thought her sister wasn’t happy, she’d probably do something drastic, then blame herself for the whole mess.  No, she couldn’t confide in Kayla, it would destroy her.

           “Well, I think it’s the most wonderful thing, for you to be having a baby,” Kayla sighed dreamily, convinced that her sister had only been indulging in pregnancy jitters.  “And poor Crane, so concerned about you.  It’s awfully romantic, isn’t it?”  Her green eyes misted over and Kate knew she was lost in a dream world all her own.  Kayla was a dreamer, and always would be so.  If only she could lose herself in a dream world like that, she might be able to sleep better at night.

 

           “Crane, will you talk to me!”  Daniel cried in exasperation.  He knew something was gnawing at his brother and was determined to get it out of him.

           “What do you want to know?”  Crane sighed, giving up his effort to appear busy and settling down on a bale of hay.  He had been fairly certain that Daniel would follow him to the barn when he stalked out of the house.

           “Look, I haven’t been blind to the tension between you and Kate.  I know you, remember, we shared the same bedroom for quite a few years.  And I’d venture to say that you know me pretty well.  If only for your own piece of mind, tell me what’s eating at you.”  Daniel’s tone was quite earnest, and Crane realized that even if he was young in years, at times he proved to be quite perceptive.  He remembered the day Kate had told him she was pregnant.  He’d wished for someone to talk to and come up with the thought that Daniel would be the ideal person.

           “It’s a long story, and I don’t know that you’ll understand,” he warned, but Daniel motioned for him to continue.  “It started with old Sam’s will,” Crane began.

           “That’s one hell of a story.”  Daniel took a deep breath when his brother had finished his recital.  He did not want to appear as concerned as he really felt.  Of all of them, Crane was the last McFadden he would have expected to get his life into such a mess.  He was usually so level-headed.  “Do you love her, Crane?”  He asked suddenly.  He was unprepared for the confusion and uncertainty in his brother’s gaze.

           “Daniel, I don’t really believe that such a thing exists for everybody,” the older man explained.  “Mom and Dan, Hannah and Adam, they’re the lucky ones.  I learned that a long time ago, that I can’t hope for anything like that.  Like I told Kate, all I really expect out of marriage is a mutual respect and companionship. All I know is, I don’t want to see her hurt.  She doesn’t deserve that.”  He fell silent for a moment then shrugged helplessly.  “I do care about her, Daniel.”

           “Well, that helps,” his brother offered dryly.  “I don’t know what to tell you, other than if you need someone to talk to, I’m always available.” He offered with a small smile.

           “Tell me how to keep my hands off her, that would be a start in the right direction.  At least for now.”  Crane chuckled ruefully.  “ I think this attraction we have for each other just adds to the confusion.”  He couldn’t stop the slight blush that tinted his bearded cheeks.

           “Can’t help you there, brother,” Daniel grinned at his discomforture.  It was time to lighten the mood a little.  “I have enough trouble trying to figure out how to get my hands on that new waitress over at Jake’s in Sonora.”  His blue eyes twinkled merrily.  “She has a body on her that don’t stop for days, and brown eyes so big…”  His voice trailed off dreamily and Crane had to laugh.  He felt a little better having confided in his brother, it took a bit of the load off his shoulders.  Now, if he could only stop worrying about his wife and her apparent refusal to take things easy, he was certain that the rest would be simple.

 

 

Chapter Fourteen

           Kate tossed the book on the coffee table with an expression of mild disgust.  How could Crane read these things over and over again?  The classics were obviously not her style of reading, she preferred a juicy contemporary novel or a good science fiction fantasy.  Crane could keep his Dickens and Dumas, she decided.

           Alone in the Bar C ranch house for the afternoon, she had forgone housework in favour of relaxing with a good book.  Unfortunately, all she could come up with was  ‘Tale of Two Cities’, not her idea of relaxing at all.  Giving the book a final glare, she arose from her comfortable position on the sofa and headed for the kitchen to make some coffee.  Since their blow-up over her dance class, things had reached a truce between herself and Crane.  Oh, he still kept after her to take it easy and she kept giving him a hard time about it, but there was none of the anger and bitterness in their arguments now.  In retrospect, the past month had been quiet and uneventful.  Kayla had been spending much of her free time over at the Circle Bar Seven, so she was not subjected to the sight of her sister and Brian together as she often dreaded.  It still hurt to see that dark head turn to follow Kayla’s every move with an expression of possessiveness and affection that she could only wish had been directed at her.  She didn’t think she’d ever get over Brian McFadden, but it was becoming easier to live with as time went on.

           Crane still found excuses to avoid joining her in their bedroom at night.  If it wasn’t paper work, it was some job out in the barn, or a book to be finished.  Kate was certain of only one thing this past month.  The big bed got lonelier and lonelier with every passing night, and their companionable waking hour had completely disappeared.  Her husband was long gone by the time she awoke.  She had vowed to never give in to his love-making again, but it perturbed her that he didn’t even try and persuade her.  Oh, she was so mixed up these days.  The only sure thing in her life right now was the baby.  She had even spent hours thinking up names for it.  Of course, Crane would probably give her an argument, but she didn’t care.  She was getting used to his disagreeing with almost everything she said.  If he didn’t like Amanda for a girl or Joshua for a boy, that was his problem.

           “Don’t forget to tell Kate that I won’t be home for supper,” she heard Daniel’s voice say through the open kitchen window.

           “I won’t,”  came Crane’s reply.  The brothers had gone into Murphys in search of tractor parts that morning and she hadn’t seen them since.

           “Scratch one for supper,” she murmured to herself, just as Crane called her name from the back door.  “Can’t he open a door by himself anymore,” she grumbled, taking the kettle off the stove.

           “You…”  She began.

           “I found it!”  He claimed, a pleased grin lighting his face, ignoring the beginning of her tirade.  His arms were full of wriggling, yipping, licking black fur.  Kate was speechless as he reached out and placed the bundle in her arms, chuckling amusedly.  “You said you wanted a dog,” reminded her with a laugh.

           “But Crane!”  Kate protested, not knowing whether to be mad at him or pleased that he had remembered.

           “The guy where we went to get the parts had a whole litter of them, and was frantic about how he was going to get rid of them.  When this little guy came running over to us, tripping over his own feet, I knew that this was the dog you told me you wanted,” Crane explained, going to the refrigerator and taking out a can of beer.  “Besides, with the baby coming and all, it seemed to me that it was the right time to get one.  A kid needs a dog,” he told her with a smug grin.  It was obvious that he was pleased with himself.

           “Crane, his feet are so big!  He’s gonna be huge!”  Kate put the puppy on the floor and watched him gambol about in dismay.

           “Probably, he’s part Irish Wolfhound and part Newfoundland, with a bit of collie thrown in for good measure.”  Crane sat at the kitchen table and sipped at his beer, smiling as the puppy tried in vain to get Kate to play with it.  She was still shocked over the whole thing.

           “He’s going to eat us out of house and home,” she observed, giving in to the puppy’s entreaties and bending down to play.  “But, he is awfully cute and stupid looking,” she amended, the dog’s eagerness for affection making her forget all her objections.

           “I didn’t think it would take long before you fell for the little guy,” he noted when she turned towards him, smiling happily.

           “What are we going to name him?”  She asked.  She was terribly touched by his action and it flustered her slightly.  She did not know how to react to the feeling of happiness that was stealing over her.  The feeling that she wanted to go over to him and throw her arms about him in a hug that would make him yelp.

           “That’s you department,” he informed her.  “I’m not very good at naming pets.  I had a goldfish once named Ethel, which Adam and Brian told me was ridiculous, so since then, I keep my nose out of it,” he chuckled wryly.

           “Ethel!”  Kate snorted in amused disdain.  “They were right, it’s a ridiculous name for a fish.”  She took the puppy’s face between her hands and started into its large brown eyes.  “What do you want to be called?”  She wondered, not seeing the gentle smile that passed over her husband’s face, nor the tender expression in his eyes.

           “You said he was stupid looking,” he offered helpfully, taking another pull on his beer.

           “I know!”  Kate suddenly exclaimed, her afternoon activities returning to her mind.  She straightened up and gave Crane a saucy grin.  It was all his fault anyway, she figured.  “We’ll call him Dickens.  Because he is so stupid looking.”  She laughed delightedly at the puzzled look on his face.

           “Dickens is one of my favorites,” Crane said slowly, and she nodded.

           “And a stupider book than the one you gave me I have yet to read.”  She told him.

           “I’ve just been insulted.”  His blue eyes gazed at her in amazed amusement.

           “You have,” she confirmed, going over to where he sat and giving him a soft kiss on the cheek.  “Thank you,” she said, and calling to the dog, left the room whistling slightly under her breath.

 

           Two nights later, Kate lay on the sofa, her magazine forgotten as she watched the activity about her with a small smile.  Evan and Ford had come for supper, bringing their guitars, claiming they needed lessons from both their older brothers if they were ever going to have peace at home.  After disposing of the meal dishes, the four of them, Kate and Kayla had settled in the living room, Kate to read and her sister to watch the masters at work, she said.  Brian had gone into the High Country for a few days, which explained his absence, for he was never very far from Kayla’s side unless he had to be.

           “Kate, will you please get your dog out of my way?”  Crane pleaded as Dickens endeavored to climb into his lap along with the guitar.

           “He likes you,” she told him, laughing at the dog’s antics.  “Come here, Dickens,” she urged the animal.  “I don’t think your master is very thrilled with you right now,” she chuckled.

           “His master.”  Crane gave her one of his baleful blue looks.  “The day that animal listens to me will be a red letter day.”  He stated, his unsuccessful ventures of the past two days still fresh in his mind.

           Once the dog had settled himself at Kate’s side, the lesson recommenced.  As she watched, Kate’s mind drifted back to her high schooldays, when she, her sister and their grandfather would head over to the McFadden ranch for Sunday supper, and afterwards, Mrs. McFadden would give her sons the same encouragement that Crane and Daniel were now dispensing.  Those had been happy times, with all of them sprawled about the large living room at the Circle Bar Seven, singing and carrying on.  Her grandfather had treated all the boys as if they were his own grandsons, and invariably ended up with young Guthrie on his lap and Ford beside him in one of the big armchairs.  The boys had adored Sam, and in return, he loved them almost as much as his two granddaughters.

           “Katy, come back to earth now,” her husband admonished, looking down at her from behind the sofa.  He had obviously asked her something and she had not replied, being lost in the past.

           “Sorry, I was thinking about those Sundays over at your place when we were kids,” she blushed under his gaze.

           “Those were good times, weren’t they?”  Crane agreed.  “Your grandad was in his element with all us kids around,” he remembered with a fond smile.

           “Did you ask me something?”  Kate was distressed by the sudden feeling that came over her.  She wanted to reach up and brush the hair from his eyes, but quelled the desire quickly.

           “Oh, yeah,” Crane shook himself out of his reverie.  “Do you want some coffee or tea or something?  I’m headed into the kitchen to do just that.”  He grinned down at her.

           “Tea would be nice,” she responded, surprised at how close she felt to him at that moment.  It was the shared memories, she told herself brusquely.

           “Cup of tea coming up,” he said and headed off towards the kitchen, leaving her very puzzled by her inexplicable reactions towards him.

           She must have fallen off to sleep for a while soon after finishing her tea, for when she opened her eyes, the lesson was over, Kayla and Evan engaged in an intense game of cards, while Crane talked seriously with Ford.  He sat on the sofa near her feet, while his brother sprawled in the armchair opposite him.  From where she lay, she could hear their conversation clearly.

           “But, Crane, I don’t think that we’ll have the money for me to go off to school the way you did,” Ford said forlornly.  “As much as I’d like to, I just don’t think it’s possible.”

           “Listen, Adam will certainly find a way if you really want to go to college.  He doesn’t hold much hope of either Daniel or Even doing that anymore, much as he’d like them to.”  Crane ran a hand over his bearded chin, thinking deeply.

           “It’s going to cost money,” Ford reminded.  “Despite the fact that my marks are good, I don’t think I can count on a scholarship or anything at the end of the next two years.”  It was obvious to the silently watching Kate that the boy would like nothing more than to continue his studies after high school and it was eating him up to think that he might not have a chance.

           “You never know,” Crane disagreed.  “You’re nearly always at the top of your class these days.  I never was, and I managed to get a partial scholarship.”  That he felt for his brother was plain to see, and Kate hid a compassionate smile.

           “That was because you did so well on the track team,” the youth sighed heavily, not convinced that there was some hope for the future.

           “Look, Ford, you have to talk this over with Adam now.  That will give you two years to get ready.  If you’re really serious about this, and I know you are, he’ll find a way to put some money aside.”  He grinned encouragingly at the downcast face his brother presented.  “Maybe I can even find a way to  help.  Tutoring some of your classmates or something like that.”  He shrugged. “Where there’s a will there’s a way,” he quoted, and Kate decided that it was time for her to take part in the discussion.

           “Crane, I’m sure we can help.  Grandad always thought that Kayla and I would go to university, but then we started dancing and that was that.  I’m sure he wouldn’t mind if we helped Ford out.”  She smiled sleepily at the teenager.  “After all, you were the one who got to fill his pipe for him all the time.”

           “Kate, I can’t!”  Ford protested, but she could see the hope leap into his blue eyes.  Blue eyes that she had a definite weakness for, no matter whose pair it was, it seemed.

           “Yes you can,” she returned stubbornly, aware of Crane’s grin of amusement.  “Under one condition.  You have to help out over here if Crane needs it.”

           “Oh, I don’t know,”  Ford hesitated.

           “Crane, talk to him,” Kate commanded.  “Kayla will agree, so don’t worry about her.”  She yawned suddenly.  “I’m going back to sleep,” she said and closed her eyes.

           “It will be alright,” Crane assured his brother, and Kate smiled a she felt her husband’s hand give her feet a light squeeze in gratefulness, she supposed.  She smiled once again, when the hand remained curved about her ankle, and then drifted off to sleep.

 

           “Kate, I need you out in the barn!”  Crane rushed into the house, ignoring the trail of mud his boots were leaving on the clean kitchen floor.

           “What’s wrong?”  She demanded, alarmed at the look of worry on his face.

           “That cow when into labour, and it looks as if it’s gonna be a breech birth, so we’ll have to help it along,” he explained hurriedly, tossing her jacket at her.

           “I don’t know what to do!”  Kate exclaimed, drawing on her jacket and following him out the back door.  “Crane, listen to me!”  She begged urgently, afraid that anything she could do would only make matters worse.

           “Kate, I’ll tell you what to do, don’t worry.  I just need an extra pair of hands, and unfortunately, Daniel’s off in town until late tonight.”  He ignored her protests, his mind intent on one thing only, the distressed cow.

           “If you say so,” she said, unconvinced.  She was even more certain that she would do something wrong when she caught sight of the cow, laying in her side, obviously in trouble.

           “Just do what I tell you, Katy.”  Crane gave her a reassuring smile.  “Everything will turn out okay.”  He patted her cheek gently, then hunkered down next to the prostrate animal.  Bemusedly, Kate waited for instructions that were soon coming thick and fast.

           When it was finally over, she thanked the Lord that her husband hand known what to do.  She would have been totally at sea over the whole thing if not for him.  It had been touch and go for a while, but Crane had not been panicked and went expertly about the business of bringing a new, reluctant life into the world.  Now, the small brown and white calf nuzzled at his mother’s side, looking for food, oblivious to the watching couple that stood nearby.

           “Crane, he’s so very pretty!”  Kate exclaimed with pleasure.  “He’s the nicest calf I’ve ever seen,” she declared with assurance.

           “He is mighty nice looking for a cow,”  Crane agreed in wry amusement and she blushed at her silliness.  She was sounding more like her dreamy sister than her own sensible self.

           “Let’s go back in the house and get some food.  I’m starving!”  She claimed, her mind turning to more mundane things.

           “It’s way past your usual supper time,” he chuckled at her quick mood swing.  “You did alright, kiddo,” he complimented, putting an arm about her shoulders and leading her from the barn.  She didn’t turn away from his touch, finding it quite natural that his arm should be where it was.

           “I had a good boss,” she told him teasingly, laughing up at him.  Despite the mess she knew herself to be in, the way he looked down at her made her feel suddenly as if she were the most attractive thing on earth. Surprisingly, she liked the way it made her feel.  She shivered slightly, and knew it wasn’t from the coolness of the fall evening.

           Once back at the house, she quickly cleaned herself up and set about cooking some supper for the two of them.  As usual, Kayla was off with Brian somewhere, but that was somehow losing it’s ability to hurt her.  She must be getting used to the idea, she reasoned, calling Crane to the table.

           “Did you finally convince Ford that it was okay for him to accept our help if he needs it?” She asked, toying with her food.  She found that after all was said and done, she wasn’t really that hungry.

           “He was a little reluctant at first,” Crane grinned at the memory.  “Damned McFadden pride is what you’d call it.  But, he really wants to go to university, so I guess it won out.  It was good of you to offer.”  His eyes took on a deep blue hue as he spoke.

           “Crane, your brothers are the closest thing to family that Kayla and I have, and Grandad always liked Ford’s serious ways.  He really was a quiet little kid.  Besides, I could tell that you wanted to help,” she shrugged and gave him a shy, little smile.

           “He appreciates it,” he told her, his eyes never leaving her face.  “So do I,” he added in a softer voice.  Kate felt herself begin to blush under his scrutiny and lowered her eyes.

           “Eat your supper, Crane,” she urged, finding her breathing suddenly slightly impaired.  Her thoughts slipped back to the last time they had made love, and her blush heightened when she realized that it had been after she’d almost fainted in dance class.  It was a bubble bath she didn’t think she’d ever forget.  “Where’s the dog?”  She asked, looking for an innocuous subject.  She was suddenly very warm.

           “Sleeping in the living room,” Crane replied, heeding her admonishment to eat his supper, all the while keeping his gaze on her, much to her dismay.

           To Kate, it seemed like forever before he was finally finished.  She had been unable to eat no more than half of her own meal she noticed as she cleared the table.  She could feel Crane’s eyes follow her about the kitchen as she prepared coffee and realized that she had been acutely aware of him ever since they had gone out to the barn.

           “Would you like some dessert?”  She asked, her heart beating erratically under the almost physical caress of his gaze.  He had been making love to her with his eyes for over an hour and it was having a devastating affect on her.

           “Dessert?  In don’t think so,” he said slowly, getting to his feet and extending a hand towards her.  “Come here, Katy,” he commanded gently.  Uttering a small, strangled cry of helplessness, she took a step forward and was enfolded in the arms she had missed so much.

           “Crane, it’s…” she began, but got no further as he bent and claimed her with an infinitely tender kiss.  Her knees buckled and had it not been for his arms about her trembling form, she would have sunk to the floor.

           “Will you let me take you upstairs?”  He lifted his head to let his gaze wander over her features.  Unable to reply, she nodded silently.  With a smile that could have been triumphant but was not, he lifted her into his arms with seemingly no effort at all and carried her from the kitchen up to the bed that she had found so lonely.

           With the moonlight streaming through the bedroom window, he undressed her slowly, treating her as if she would break if he were not careful.  He ran a hand over the slight swell of her midriff and looked at her in surprise.

           “Already?”  He asked in wonder, and she chuckled slightly.

           “Your child is healthy,” she told him, beginning to work at the buttons of his shirt.  As impatient as she was to fall on the bed with him, she took her time divesting him of his clothes, wanting to give him the pleasure he was giving her.

           “Kate do you have any idea what you do to me?”  He asked in a choking voice, clasping her to him and taking her to the bed.  As her long hair flowed about them, he made love to her tenderly, almost reverently and she wondered why she had ever dreamt of denying herself these feelings.  His large hands were made for the express purpose of gliding over her skin and his lips had been formed to fit hers to perfection.  The way their bodies blended together must have been pre-ordained, their union was so soaringly pure.

           Much later, as Crane slept, one leg thrown possessively over hers, she gazed upon the moonlit features of his face and was overcome by a wave of tenderness that left her breathless.  This was the father of her unborn child, she realized.  The child would be lucky to have Crane as a father, she decided.  Scenes from the day he had brought home Dickens flashed through her mind, followed by the memory of his brotherly discussion with Ford and the look on his face that afternoon when the calf had finally struggled into the world with their help.  He was a special man.  Infuriating at times, but special.  She could have done worse than marry Crane McFadden, she told herself, snuggling down into the accommodating crook of his arm.

 

 

Chapter Fifteen

           “Crane, I have something to tell you.”  Kate nudged at the man who lay beside her on the edge of sleep.  He opened one eye that gazed balefully at her.

           “You’ve worn me out woman, and now you want to talk?”  The blue eye began to twinkle with amusement.  Outside the warm haven of the bedroom, a late autumn thunderstorm raged fiercely.  It was one of the worst Kate had ever experienced here in the mountains, but she had to admit to herself that it had leant an abandoned quality to their love-making of that night. 

           “Crane, this is important,” she told him.  “Listen to me.”  She ordered when he sighed in vast exaggeration.  She had wanted to wait a few days before she told him her news, but had found that there was no way she would ever get to sleep unless she shared what the doctor had told her that afternoon.

           “Alright, alright,” he grumbled good-naturedly, raising his head to rest on his hand and gaze down at her.  Her eyes were still heavy with the after-effects of their union, her lips still slightly swollen from his kisses.  She presented a beautifully desirous picture.  “What is so important?”  He asked indulgently.

           “Well, you know I went to the doctor today,” she began, and he started.

           “Everything’s alright, isn’t it?” He demanded worriedly, and she chuckled.

           “Yes, everything’s alright,” she assured him, as always, warmed by his concern.  “I had my first ultrasound test, and they’re both just fine.”  She watched for a reaction to her words, and grinned when they didn’t register with him right away.

           “That’s good.  This is what you dragged me awake…, what do you mean ‘they’re both just fine’?”  He asked slowly as he finally realized what she had said.  In reply, she held up two slender fingers, her smile widening.  “Two?”  He choked the word out, and she nodded.

           “That’s why I’m showing more than Hannah ever did at this point,” she explained, but he was not listening.

           “Two?  Twins?  Two of them?”  His eyes were wide with wonder and awe she saw in a flash of white lightning.  Softly at first, he began to chuckle in amazement, and before long, he was laughing with total delight and happiness.  Kate had to bite the inside of her lip to keep the pleased tears from spilling over and down her cheeks.  This was the reaction she had imagined he would display when first told about her pregnancy.  Better late than never, she told herself as he reached for her and gave her a hug that knocked the breath from her lungs.  “Two!  We’re gonna be twins!”  He almost shouted, and she began to giggle.

           “No, Crane,” she disagreed, laughing with joy.  “I’m a twin, Kayla’s a twin.  Our children are twins.  You are not a twin.”  She laughed harder at the dumbfounded look on his face.  She would not have traded this moment for anything on earth, she decided.

           “Oh, Katy, I…” Whatever he had been ready to say was cut off by a sudden, furious banging downstairs. 

           “Crane!  Daniel!”  Evan’s voice was frantic over the sounds of the raging storm.  “Kate!  Get up damn it!  Crane!”

           “What the hell?”  Crane shot out of bed, Kate not far behind, grabbing nearby housecoats and dragging them on.

           “Evan, what’s going on?”  Crane demanded, skidding to a stop in the hallway as he came face-to-face with his young brother.  Daniel emerged from his room, disheveled and sleepy, looking confused by all the activity.  Kayla came to stand beside her twin, their expressions one of mirrored concern.

           “Crane, you have to get home right away!  The phone lines are down!  I have to try and get into town, but I’m betting the road’s washed out!”  The boy was really frightened, Kate realized as his garbled words came out in a rush.

           “Evan!  Slow down.”  Crane commanded, grabbing his brother’s shoulders and giving him a little shake.  “Tell us exactly what’s going on.”

           “Hannah’s gone into labour!”  Evan all but yelled at the four shocked listeners.  “The storm has all the phone lines down and the electricity should be the next to go.  She can’t move, so I have to try and get into town to get the doctor.  Lightning struck that big tree by the barn and it fell into the barn.  All the horses and cattle that were in the barn are now scattered all over the countryside.  Brian and Ford are out looking for them now, and Adam’s praying that he doesn’t have to deliver the baby.”  He stopped, out of breath, his face white from fear.

           “Okay.  Daniel, you go with Evan and try to get into town any way you can.  I’ll go over to the house and help Adam if I can.  You two stay here.”  Crane took charge with ease.

           “No.”  Kate denied firmly.  She was not about to sit at home when her help was so obviously needed.

           “We’re going too.”  Kayla stated, her chin lifting into the stubborn stance that Crane knew all too well.  He looked from one sister to the other, realizing for the first time exactly how identical they were.

           “Then get yourselves dressed!”  He gave in, knowing he’d never win an argument with the two of them.

           “Crane, is Hannah going to be alright?”  Kate asked worriedly, as they frantically dressed in the nearest clothes.  It was a ridiculous feeling, but she wanted to be reassured the same way a child needed to be reassured after a nightmare.

           “We’ll make sure she is, kiddo,” he said, pausing in the donning of his oldest sweatshirt and bending over to kiss her swiftly.  Oddly, she felt much better after that.

           It was a grim-faced trio that arrived at the Circle Bar Seven, making the ten-minute trip in less than three, Kate was sure.

           “Guthrie, what’s going on?”  Crane demanded as his youngest brother dashed to the door to meet them.  His freckled face was pale and drawn, worry clouding his blue eyes.

           “You’d better get upstairs right away,” the boy said.  Crane and Kate exchanged glances before dashing up the stairs, leaving Kayla alone with the frightened twelve-year old.

           “C’mon, let’s get some coffee on,” she suggested putting her arm about his slender shoulders.

           “I’m scared, Kayla,” he admitted as they headed for the kitchen.

           “We all are, but it’s going to turn out just fine, you’ll see,” she promised, hoping that it was one promise she wouldn’t have to break.

           “Am I glad to see you guys!”  Adam exclaimed, meeting his brother and sister-in-law at the bedroom door.  He ushered them inside, his face harsh with fear and worry for his wife.  Hannah lay on the bed, deathly pale and breathing labouredly.

           “I’m doing this the McFadden way,” she said faintly, a smile curving her lips.  “Maximum amount of fuss.”  She gasped as another pain wracked her frame.  Adam was at her side in an instant, and she clung to him until the contraction passed.

           “What can we do?”  Kate asked, managing to keep the tremour of fear from her voice.  This was no calf that was coming into the world like the one she and Crane had helped deliver the month before.

           “You’re early, Mrs. McFadden.”  Crane told Hannah with a quiet smile, and Kate could not help the feeling of pride that shot through her.  He was so calm in the face of this crisis, it seemed that nothing was going to phase him.

         “Sorry.”  Hannah managed a slight laugh.  Adam pushed her sweat-drenched hair from her forehead and gave his brother a look that reminded Kate of the look Guthrie had worn downstairs.  It was obvious that he was anything but calm, and she couldn’t blame him.  He loved Hannah more than life itself and the idea of something going wrong had him totally petrified.

           “Crane, I’ve delivered a baby before.  Angelina’s baby, remember?  But, I don’t think I can do this,”  he shook his dark head.  “I…”

           “Don’t worry, Adam,” Crane reassured.  “You, me and Kate, we’ll take care of it together, that is if Hannah will let us.”  He smiled at the woman on the bed once again.

           “Fine by…” She stopped suddenly as another pain began to take a hold of her.

           “Okay, this is gonna be along night, kiddo,” Crane turned to his wife and gave her a quick smile.  “Can you handle it?”  He pulled off his sweatshirt, which had worked with him in the barn all that afternoon and was probably a storehouse of germs and bacteria.

           “Tell me what to do.”  Kate shrugged.  If he thought she could do it, she was not about to disabuse him of the notion, she told herself, despite the fact that her knees were knocking together at a fantastic rate.  She looked over at Adam and Hannah. It was clear that they trusted Crane completely, so could she do any different?

           As the storm raged itself out, the bedroom at the end of the hallway became a delivery room.  Crane had been correct in saying that it would be a long night, Kate thought, sitting next to Hannah, helping her with her breathing and her pushing.  Adam did the same on the other side, offering Crane guidance when he needed it.  That Hannah had been giving natural childbirth courses around the county for the past two years, helped immensely, and as long as Adam didn’t have to do the actual delivering of the baby, he was fine.

            “I wish that doctor would get here!”  Adam exclaimed, just as dawn began to lighten the eastern sky.

           “Too late for that!”  Crane told him, exhorting the exhausted Hannah to give one final push.

           “This is it!”  Kate gasped as Hannah’s hand crushed hers.

           “C’mon, honey,” Adam urged, brown eyes round.  His wife made her first sound of protest, groaning with effort as she tried successfully to follow the orders she had been given.

           “Here we go!  Here we go!  Han, it’s a boy!  A perfect boy!”  Crane was yelling in his excitement.

           “Thank God!”  Kate and Adam breathed at the same time, as they lay Hannah back on her pillow, exhausted but happy.  They had done it!  They had brought a new life into the world, the four of them, working together.

           “Here’s your son,” Crane smiled at the new mother as he lay the crying child in her arms.  The grin on Adam’s face threatened to break it in two as he gazed down at his wife and newborn son.

           “C’mon, let’s leave them alone,” Kate suggested quietly to her husband.  “Call us if you need anything,” she said to Adam, but doubted if her really heard her.  She slipped an arm about Crane’s waist and they left the new family to themselves.

           “It’s a good feeling, huh?”  Crane looked down at her with a wondrous smile.  She nodded, her heart too filled for words.  He bent down and kissed her, sweetly and lingeringly.  “Now let’s go downstairs and tell the others.”  His arm laxly around her shoulders, they descended the staircase.  Kate was thankful for the guidance, for in her stunned state, she had no idea where they were going.  It couldn’t be, she told herself.  Not after all this time.  It just couldn’t be.  She glanced covertly up at the face that was suddenly so dear to her.  She loved him.  She really did.

 

 

Chapter Sixteen

           Kate placed her hands on the top rail of the fence, and settled her chin upon them.  To a casual observer, it would appear that she was intently watching the activity in the paddock, where Brian was engaged in breaking the black stallion, Midnight, but in reality, her gaze was unfocused, her thoughts far from man and horse.  Ever since the morning of little Zachary’s birth, she had been given to long periods of deep thought, followed by a dark mod or even tears.  The realization that the love she had for her husband would never be returned had been the hardest thing she’d had to face in her life.  The confrontation with Brian that had taken place so long ago, paled into insignificance when compared with the despair she now felt; and the lost, forlorn feeling that plagued her upon her grandfather’s death seemed to have intensified four-fold.  Thankfully, she had remembered Crane’s logical statement that love was not for the likes of him, only for a special few, before she had a chance to tell him of her new-found feelings.  That, coupled with the fact that he was certain she was still in love with his brother denied her any chance of real happiness.  She understood now, that what she had felt for Brian had only been a teenager’s infatuation, blown out of proportion over the intervening years and re-enforced by the man’s undeniable sex appeal and charm upon her return home.  What she had run from had not been Brian, but Crane, and the subconscious knowledge that her heart could be lost to him, given half a chance.  She was so young then, afraid of the grown-up emotions that hid beneath the surface.  She should consider herself lucky, she told herself.  After all, she was married to the man she loved, and she was carrying his children.  To as that she be loved in return was probably too much to as for, especially when one looked at it the way Crane did.  Logically.  But, she had never been one to think very logically, wishing her life away instead.  As Mrs. McFadden had often quoted, ‘If wishes were fishes, pigs might fly’.  Kate would sell her soul for a wishing fish or a flying pig right about now.

           “He’s coming along pretty good.”  Brian strode over to her, dragging her from her reverie.

           “Hmmm.  What?”  She started, caught off-guard by his sudden appearance in front of her.

           “Lately I’ve been wondering who’s more of the dreamer, you or Kayla,” he smiled his lazy smile that no longer had the effect of sending her pulse into overdrive.  That was now reserved for the half-shy, half-cocky grin that her husband would flash, having no idea of how it affected her.

           “We’re interchangeable,” Kate offered with a wry smile.

           “I wouldn’t say that,” he disagreed, blue eyes dancing teasingly.  “And I’m fairly certain that Crane would notice a difference.”  He indicated her growing stomach with a raised eyebrow.

           “Anyone with two eyes could right now.”  Kate found herself laughing in spite of her gloomy frame of mind.

           “See, you can laugh!”  Brian’s face was filled with exaggerated surprise.  “Don’t like to see you mopey, Kate,” he told her, this time seriously.

           “Brian, I think it’s a fairly regular occurrence with pregnant women,” she said, falling back on the excuse that had held her in good stead for the past months.

           “C’mon, Christmas will be here in two weeks, I hear the Bar C is finally back in the black, and Midnight is well on his way to being a great riding horse for you, once the kids are born.  What more could you ask for?”  He asked, climbing effortlessly over the fence.

           “Gee, Brian, I just don’t know.”  Kate rolled her eyes at him.  “Maybe a dishwasher?”  She giggled slightly.  He shook his head in mock sorrow, and put an arm about her shoulders as they walked back to the house.  She had stopped holding him at arm’s length since the morning their nephew had been born, almost two months before, and found that they had slipped back into the older brother/younger sister relationship they once enjoyed.  There was no danger here any longer.

           “You know,” he grinned down at her affectionately.  “my little brother is pretty lucky.”

           “And why is that?”  She asked, thinking that once upon a time, all this attention would have thrown her into such a state of happiness.  Why did life have to be so complicated, she wondered.

           “’Cause he married you,” he told her simply, giving her shoulders a slight squeeze.  “You’re a special lady, Kate.”

           “Thank you.”  She smiled faintly.  How times had changed, and how they had stayed the same.

 

           “Crane, do we have to buy more cattle?”  Kate demanded in exasperation over the breakfast table.  Daniel and Kayla exchanged glances, preparing themselves for another volatile discussion.

           “We don’t have to do anything, but it is a wise idea,” he told her, stirring absently at his coffee.

           “Hmm, Adam said the same thing last night,” Kayla offered.  She was totally willing to leave the running of the ranch to those who knew better than she, namely Adam and Crane.  She could not understand why Kate felt that she had to disagree with them all the time.  They only wanted what was best.

           “That doesn’t make it gospel.”  Kate snorted, and Daniel grinned.  He agreed with his sister-in-law whole-heartedly.  His oldest brother was by no means God.

           “Katy, we should improve the breeding stock while we can.  The cattle we bought this summer was a start, but the problem still remains,” Crane explained patiently.  It was obvious that he had no intention of starting an argument over the subject.

           “Get me a couple of cribs and high chairs, and then we’ll talk,” his wife retorted.  There were priorities to be met after all.

           “Don’t worry about it.”  He exchanged a covert glance with his brother, who suddenly wore a most innocent face.

           “Don’t worry!”  Kate’s glance was incredulous.  “We have children coming that are going to need a place to sleep and stuff like that, or have you forgotten?”  Oh, but she was touchy this morning.

           “Kate, he hasn’t forgotten,” Kayla placated, reverting to her role as peacekeeper, just as she had when they were all children.

           “I’m just sick of not being consulted on anything until after the fact,” Kate explained, keeping a tight rein on her temper.  “I do know a bit about this business,” she said in a voice thick with sarcasm.

           “I know you do.”  Crane sighed heavily and rubbed his bearded chin.  “And we would have discussed it with you last night, but you went to bed early, remember?”

           “That much is true,” Daniel agreed supportively, earning a dark look from his brother.  “Only trying to help,” the younger man muttered hastily.

           “Kate, get your coat on.  We’re going out to the barn.”  Crane pushed his chair away from the table and stood up, the sternness of his expression brooking no defiance.

           “I’m going to get beaten, you watch,” Kate told the other two who were left sitting at the table, open-mouthed at Crane’s high-handedness.

           Silently, they walked to the barn, neither noticing the chill in the morning air.  One part of Kate was fuming at the way Crane and Adam still presumed to dictate the running of the ranch, while another wanted to slip an arm about her husband’s waist and apologize for being so nasty towards him back in the kitchen.  Sometimes, he confused her so much she didn’t even know her own mind.

           “Crane, I hope you don’t intend to lecture me,” she sighed, following him inside the barn.

           “I learned a long time ago that it doesn’t do any good.”  Came the short reply.  Kate felt herself shiver.  He really was upset with her this time.  Her eyes were wide as they reached the door to the tack room at the back of the barn, and he turned around to face her.  “Whatever else you believe of my, Kate, I am not about to forget that we are going to be parents in a very short while.”  There was a bleak look in his eyes that cut her to the quick.  She had been unthinkingly cruel, she realized.

           “I’m sorry,” she said in a voice that was no more than a whisper.  Appearing to ignore her apology, he opened the tack room door and motioned for her to look inside.

           “Sometimes, I don’t think you know me very well at all,” he sighed as she moved past him.

           “Oh, Crane!”  Tears filled her eyes when she saw what the room held.  All the time that he had been telling her that he had work to do on the barn, he had been secreting himself in this room, building the furniture she had just complained about the lack of.  Two finished highchairs stood in one corner, painstakingly carved along the back.  Next to them was a finished crib, created with the same care and attention to loving detail.  The second crib was only half way completed, but Kate knew that it would be identical to the first.

           “I was hoping to get them finished before Christmas, but there have been too many emergencies around the place,”  Crane told her.

           “They’re beautiful!”  Kate reached out to touch his arm, but he had already spun on his heel and was striding down the length of the barn.  Her tears finally overflowing down her cheeks, she knew she couldn’t go after him.  She just didn’t know what to say.

 

           “Daniel, if you make the slightest bit of noise, I’ll murder you right here and now.  I don’t care if it is Christmas Eve!”  Kate hissed under her breath at her brother-in-law.  “You too, you big ox,” she added as Brian smirked at her reprimand.

           “This has to be a surprise, doesn’t it?”  Daniel asked wryly, grunting as he searched for a more convenient handhold on the piano that he and Brian were endeavoring to get into the Bar C living room with a minimal amount of fuss and noise.

           “Yes.”  Kate’s reply was short and to the point.  She was petrified that Crane would awaken and come downstairs to investigate the bumps and bangs that sounded like loud rolls of thunder to her ears.  After the disastrous day in the barn, Kate had been determined that her husband was going to have the most wonderful Christmas she could provide.  It had taken some master planning, but between Daniel, Brian, Kayla and herself, they had managed to find a second-hand piano that did not cost an arm and a left and plot to get it into the house while Crane slept on Christmas Eve.

           “Kate, will you please relax?”  Kayla scolded her twin.

           “I’m trying,” she retorted.  Crane had mentioned that he missed the piano at the Circle Bar Seven more than once since their marriage.  Often, he and Daniel would be trying to put together a song, and he would declare that if he could only run it through on the piano, it would be much easier.

           “I wonder if Santa Claus ever had this much trouble?”  Brian asked, heaving a great sigh as the instrument was finally settled into place.

           “Only if Kate was ever Mrs. Claus,” Daniel informed him with a teasing grin for his sister-in-law who kept darting glances towards the staircase.  When she had slipped out of bed an hour ago, Crane had been fast asleep, showing no signs of waking, but one could never be certain.

           “If he hears any noise, he’ll only think it’s Daniel rummaging in the fridge for a late-night snack as usual.”  Kayla pointed out.

           “Hey, I meet her there more often than not!”  Daniel accused.  Kate’s growing appetite was the butt of many good-natured jokes by the whole family.

           “Just for that, you can go make me a sandwich,” she chuckled, clapping him on the shoulder.  “On second thought, I’ll go with you so that these two can have some privacy by the light of the Christmas tree.  I’m told it’s rather romantic.”  She gave a blushing Kayla an expressive glance and ushered Daniel from the living room, Brian’s chuckles echoing after them.  Now that she had realized that she did not love Brian, it was quite natural for her to tease him and her sister to death.  She was never able to do it when her husband was in the room however.  Just knowing that he believed her to still be in love with Brian, forestalled any lightheartedness on her part.

           “Kathleen!”  Once in the kitchen, Daniel turned to glare at her, sounding so much like Crane that she was startled.

           “What?”

           “It’s almost two a.m., and I want to get to bed, not have a midnight snack.”  He gave her a look of comical dismay.

           “You can keep me company for a few minutes,” she told him unsympathetically.  “Besides, I want you to tell me what to expect from this McFadden Christmas you’ve all been warning us about.  I imagine that things have changed since we were kids.”  She began to forage in the refrigerator as she spoke,  much to his amusement.

           “I don’t believe in Santa Claus anymore,” he offered.

           “Unfortunately, neither do I,” she sighed.  “And I could really use the guy right about now.”

           “Aha!  Christmas wishes a little bigger than your stocking?”  He teased, picking at the plate of left-over sandwich meats she placed on the table.

           “Just a little,” she grinned ruefully.  Over six feet too big, she added to herself, thinking of the man who slept upstairs.  All she really wanted for Christmas was his love, but that was one thing she was certain would not appear under the tree come tomorrow morning.  Fighting the melancholy that threatened, she turned all her attention to teasing her obliging brother-in-law while they demolished the plate of leftovers. 

 

 

Chapter Seventeen

            Kate lay on her side, watching the sky lighten to morning through her bedroom window.  She had been unable to sleep after getting the piano in the house and sharing a late-night snack with Daniel.  She was just too excited, she supposed.  As a child, Christmas Eve had invariably meant that she would lay awake all night, dreaming of the next morning.  It was the best part of the holiday as far as she was concerned.  She smiled in remembrance, and in spite of herself, anticipation.  One of the babies gave her a hefty kick that startled her out of her memories and she chuckled softly.

           “You’re awake awfully early this morning.”  Crane’s voice was quietly sleepy.

           “I haven’t really been to sleep,” she admitted sheepishly, turning to lay on her back.  The strain that had been apparent between them for the past two weeks was non-existent at this early hour.

           “Are you feeling okay?”  He asked, raising his head to rest on his bent arm and gazing down at her with a slight frown on his bearded face.

           “The kids are kicking up a storm, but other than that, I feel just fine,” she assured him.  “I just don’t sleep too well on Christmas Eve.  Never have, and probably never will,” she grinned.

           “You’re as bad as Guthrie,” he teased.  “Last year, Brian threatened to tie him up in the barn if he didn’t go to sleep.  They share a bed, you know.”  His teeth gleamed whitely in the faint morning light as he smiled at the memory.

           “I hope you don’t intend to tie me up in the barn!”  She looked up at him through narrowed eyes and he laughed in amusement, shaking his head.

           “The thought has crossed my mind a few times, but I figured you were too grown up for that,” he told her, twining his fingers in the strands of long auburn hair that lay across the pillow between them

           “I suppose I should be thankful,” she observed wryly and he nodded.  “Oh, Crane, they’re at it again!  Check it out, they’re going nuts!”  She urged him to feel the activity going on inside her.  Almost hesitantly, he placed a large hand on her rounded midriff, eyes widening as he realized that there was indeed life there.

           “No wonder you were awake,” he marveled, and Kate felt a wave of contented happiness flow over her.  Sometimes, she could almost forget that he didn’t love her.

           “Well, their mother is a dancer, after all,” she told him.

           “You have a point,” he agreed, bending his head to kiss her gently.  “C’mon, it’s Christmas morning.  Get up and I’ll make you some breakfast before we have to head over to the Circle Bar Seven.”  There was a flurry of blankets and pillows as he erupted out of the bed, ready to face the day.

           “Make me breakfast, and I’ll help you with the chores,” she promised, following at a more sedate pace.  “After all, we don’t want to keep Guthrie waiting, do we?”  She grinned, pulling on her robe.  She couldn’t wait for him to get downstairs and see the piano that sat so proudly in their living room.  He would be so surprised.

           “I guess we’re the first ones up,” Crane observed as they descended the staircase into a quiet house.  His harm hung loosely about her shoulders and she reveled in the gesture of affection.

           “I have the sneaking suspicion that you were often one of the first ones up on Christmas morning,” she chuckled fondly, imagining the tow-headed boy she remembered eagerly jumping out of bed to awaken the rest of the household.

           “You’d probably be…right,” his voice trailed off as they reached the bottom of the stairs and the living room was in full view.  “Katy…what…the…hell?”  There was amazement and almost shock in his tone as he caught sight of the piano standing next to the large Christmas tree, a large red bow perched on one corner of it, looking very festive.

           “Merry Christmas.”  She looked up at him, pleased by the expression of disbelief she saw on his face.  The best part of Christmas was seeing the results of her quest for just the right gift for someone she loved.

           “Katy, it’s too much,” he protested half-heartedly, moving into the room, his gaze never leaving the upright piano.  Hesitantly, he ran experimental fingers over the keys, a small smile spreading over his features.

           “So I don’t get a new winter coat and boots.  Who cares?”  She shrugged happily, going to stand beside him.

           “How did you know?”  He turned his attention away from the piano and towards her.  There was something in his gaze that she couldn’t pin down, but it was enough to know that she had made him happy.

           “It really didn’t take a genius to figure out,” she told him.  “Just how to get the damned thing in here last night without waking you up,” she grinned.  “Besides, Daniel found me a deal,” she added, certain that he would sooner or later begin to worry about the monetary aspect of it.

           “You never cease to amaze me,” he said, laying his hands on either side of her face.  “Thank you.”

           “You’re welcome,” she managed to say before his lips were moving on hers in a kiss that sent all her senses whirling.  She twined her arms around his neck, never wanting it to end.  Her fingers tangled in the curls above the collar of the work shirt he had thrown on, every inch of her body crying out to be closer to his.

           “Katy…we…I…” He began in a ragged voice that told her he wanted her as much as she wanted him.

           “And they aren’t even under the mistletoe.”  Daniel’s voice interrupted the interlude, much to Kate’s dismay.

           “I think he liked the piano,” Kayla offered, coming down the stairs behind him.  Both wore expressions of vast amusement that Kate would have taken great pleasure in physically destroying if she could have.

           “I guess I’ll get breakfast started,” Crane sighed, giving his brother a dark glance that no one  missed.

           “Merry Christmas to you too, brother,” Daniel said cheekily, not caring that he was in the doghouse once again.

           “Sometimes, Daniel.”  Kate raised her fist in exasperation.

           “Right here, Kate, right here.”  He was not impressed by her threats whatsoever.

           “Oh, go get your damned breakfast!”  She exclaimed, finally giving in to amused laughter.

           “Merry Christmas,” Kayla grinned, coming to give her a hug, and arm in arm, they followed Daniel into the kitchen.

 

           “Kate, Kayla, you two sit.  We ladies do nothing today,” Hannah told the sisters once all the excitement of the arrival of the contingent from the Bar C had decreased to a dull roar.

           “Yeah, we are at your service,” Evan grinned ruefully.  “For all day,” he added with a roll of his eyes.

           “I think I like this idea!”  Kayla rubbed her hands together in exaggerated glee.

           “Don’t get too used to it,”  Brian warned with a wag of one large finger.  In response, she stuck her tongue out at him and gave him a saucy wink.  “Woman, you try me, you really try me,” he sighed and left the room, shaking his dark head ruefully.

           Kate watched the good-natured byplay that was the normal way of life in this house and decided that she would let nothing ruin this day.  The wall of coolness that had recently sprung up between herself and Crane was not in existence this morning, and she wanted to keep it that way for as long as possible.  At least she could pretend that there was nothing lacking in their marriage when he treated her in this fashion.

           “And how are you feeling?”  Adam sat beside her on the sofa, handing her a warm mug of coffee.  She watched him warily for a moment.  The last time they had spoken, it had ended up in a shouting match that neither of them had won.

           “Fine,” she finally replied.  “A little tired, but that’s only to be expected, they tell me.”  She grinned, despite her misgivings.

           “Well, I hope you’ve been taking it easy,” he admonished and she glared at him.  “I suppose you get enough lectures about that from Crane,” he said hastily, dark eyes dancing merrily.

           “Plenty.” She confirmed primly, not wanting to respond to his good humour.  In her mind, he was still the enemy, doing his best to contradict her every thought on how to run her own ranch.

           “Kathleen Cantrell McFadden!”  He exclaimed with a burst of laughter.  “If you put half the energy you expend on hating me into trying to get along with me, we’d be the best of friends.”  His expression was one of vast amusement, and Kate could not help but begin to laugh.  What he said was really quite logical.

           “Adam, I don’t hate you,” she disagreed around her chuckles.

           “Coulda fooled me!”  His eyebrows disappeared into his bangs in shock.

           “Just think of how boring it would be if we got along,” she grinned.  “There wouldn’t be anyone left in this family to stand up to you and not worry about the consequences.”  She spread her hands in an eloquent gesture.

           “Don’t let Hannah hear you say that,” he warned.  “Listen, young lady, I’m trying to be quite serious here.”  His gaze lost some of its sparkling quality as he fixed it on her face.

           “I can see that,” she observed, her smile fading.  “Adam, I really don’t hate you,” she repeated her earlier statement, wondering why he had become so concerned about their relationship all of a sudden.  He hadn’t approved of her since her return to the mountains and had never hidden the fact.

           “Kate, I don’t thing we’ll ever be in complete agreement about much in this lifetime,” he told her after a thoughtful moment.  “We never have.  But I do think that we should stop this pitched battle we seem to have begun.”

           “You’re probably right.  I know it doesn’t make life any easier for Crane, Hannah and Kayla to say the least,” Kate admitted reluctantly.

           “It’s probably my fault that it all got started,” he confessed with a guilty little smile.  “When you and Kayla came back for Sam’s funeral, I wasn’t too thrilled with the city sophisticates that I thought you’d become.  I was certain that the both of you had turned you backs on everything we’d all grown up with.  I was wrong.  I realized that a while ago.  Crane can be stupid, but there’s no way he would marry someone who had changed into what I thought you had changed into, if you get my drift.  I guess I really understood the night Zach was born.  You were there for us, me and Hannah, and I’ll never forget that.”  His brown eyes misted over slightly at the memory.  He sighed deeply before continuing.  “What I’m trying to say in this uncommon long-winded manner, is that I’m sorry for treating you the way I have been, like a no-mind dipstick.  Do you think that we can return to the friendly antagonists we used to be when we were kids?”  He asked hopefully and with some relief that his confession was over with.  Kate blinked rapidly to clear her eyes of the tears that had gathered there.

           “Just don’t expect me to stop fighting with you,” she grinned.  “It wouldn’t be good for my image.”  She reached over to pat his knee in a gesture of affection that indicated much more than it appeared.  A hatchet had been buried, an understanding had been reached.  Oh, there would still be loud and volatile discussions between the two, but not with the regularity there was now.

           “C’mon, Adam, stop whispering with Kate and get on the job!”  Guthrie planted himself in front of his brother, an impatient look on his freckled face.  “There can’t be any more chores in the world that have to be done!  Everybody’s here!  Start handing out the presents, puh-leese!”  He pleaded with fervour.

           “I can well imagine why Brian wanted to tie you up in the barn last year,” Kate chuckled in amusement.

           “You and Adam all settled up?”  Crane asked quietly, slipping into the seat his elder brother vacated at the boy’s demand.

           “Yes.  How did you know?”  Kate stared at him in surprise.

           “I told you.  Sometimes I know you better than you think I do,” he grinned mischievously.  “Now pay attention.  Adam’s playing Santa Claus.”  Giving him an exasperated glance, she settled into the curve of his arm, ready to watch the proceedings with great interest.

 

           “Aren’t you going to play, Hannah?”  Ford asked as the family gathered around the coffee table in front of the fireplace.  The huge Christmas dinner had been duly consumed, and the dishes all washed and put away; now the family was settling in to play the game of Trivial Pursuit that Ford had received that morning.

           “Maybe later,” she smiled down from halfway up the staircase.  “I’m just going to check and see what’s taking Crane so long to put Zachary to bed,” she explained.

           “He’s probably counseling the kid on what college to choose,” Daniel chuckled.  It was a source of vast amusement, and some amazement to all concerned, that Crane and the two month old baby showed so much affinity for each other.  If the child cried, he always quieted when his uncle held him, and he always seemed to realize when Crane was in the room, perking up noticeably.  Adam claimed that it was because his brother had delivered him and in doing so had left an indelible impression on the child.  Crane said it was because Zach had remarkably good taste.  Whatever the case, he doted on the baby, and the love was obviously reciprocated.

           “It wouldn’t surprise me,” Hannah laughed, continuing on her way.  She was still smiling as she opened the door to what was not the baby’s room.  Her smile grew at the scene that greeted her.  Her brother-in-law was comfortably settled in the rocking chair she had insisted upon moving into the room, eyes closed, rocking the baby back and forth in an easy, rhythmic motion.  At a second glance, Hannah realized that her son was fast asleep in the safe haven of Crane’s arms and she could not forestall a chuckle of fond amusement.

           “What’s wrong?”  Crane’s eyes fluttered open, and she wondered if he had not been half asleep himself.

           “Nothing,” she replied, entering the room and closing the door softly.  “I just wondered what was taking you so long.”  She moved to stand beside him and look proudly down upon the first of the next McFadden generation.

           “It was nice and quiet up here, and I guess we just lost track of the time,” he grinned, following her motherly gaze.  “I suppose I’m just not used to the chaos around here any more,” he admitted with a slight shrug.

           “You’ve been spoiled, my friend,” she told him amusedly.

           “I suppose,” he agreed reluctantly, getting to his feet, taking care not to wake his nephew.  Hannah watched him closely as he tucked Zachary in for the night.  There was definitely something on his mind.  She and Crane were so close, so it wasn’t hard for her to notice that something was bothering him.

           “Wrong?  What makes you think so?”  He countered, taken by surprise.

            “Crane.”  Hannah fixed him with a steady blue gaze.  She was not going to let him off the hook until he told her exactly what was going on.  “You can probably fool your brothers and Kayla, and maybe even Kate, but you can’t fool me.  Something’s bothering you and I think you need to talk about it.”  She motioned for him to return to the rocking chair, while she curled up on the window seat.

           “Still the family psychiatrist, I see,” Crane smiled thinly, following her suggestion to sit.  She smiled as well, shrugging in response.  “Ah, Hannah, you know me all to well, don’t you?”  He sighed.

           “Well enough to know that something has been bothering you for a while now,” she said.  “Tell me about it, maybe I can help,” she urged gently.

           “I doubt that,” he disagreed with a shake of his sandy head.  “But what the hell, it’d probably be better if you knew what was going on.  But don’t let on to anyone else, okay?”  He pulled a face at her.  “One thing I don’t need is the whole family going on about my problems right now.”

           “I won’t say a word,” Hannah promised solemnly. “What’s wrong?”  She repeated.

           “Hannah, I feel like a complete and utter jerk.”  Crane stated in a strangled voice.

           “For heaven’s sake, why?”  Hannah was taken aback by the emotion he was showing.

           “Because I can’t love my wife the way she deserves to be loved!”  The  admission was shocking, to say the least, leaving Hannah speechless for a long moment.  As she gathered her scattered wits, she searched for the proper way to approach this unforeseen turn of events.  She would have sworn that Kate and Crane were amongst the happiest of couples, despite their affinity for arguing with each other.

           “Would you care to explain that?”  She finally asked in a quiet voice.  She would not get excited.  That would only serve to awaken the soundly sleeping baby.

           “It’s really not easy for me to admit, but I guess I’ll have to start from the beginning.”  He sighed heavily and ran a hand through his hair.  “It all had to do with Sam’s will, you see.  The girls would have lost the ranch to us in the very beginning, unless one of them happened to get married.  Well, Kayla showed no signs of being so obliging, and besides, only Kate knew about that little addition to the will.  And myself of course, Adam as well.  Anyhow, Kate and I talked it over and could find no other way out. So, I proposed.  It seemed the right thing to do at the time.  We had always been close friends until just before the girls left for the city, and we thought that we could build a decent marriage from that.  I still continued to think so, but then, Kate got pregnant with my children, and knowing full well that she loved another man, it just didn’t seem fair to me.  She’s given up so much, and she’s actually happy that we’re going to be parents, despite the fact that I’m not the man she loves.  Well, damn it, I feel like a total heel!  Do you understand any of what I’m saying?”  Anguish was written all over the angular lines of his face, and Hannah’s heart went out to him.

           “But, Crane, why did you marry Kate if you didn’t love her?”  She asked gently.  She endeavored not to let her inner turmoil show.  That would not help Crane at all.

           “Hannah, I don’t believe in love,” he told her flatly and she stifled a gasp of dismayed surprise.  “Look, you and Adam are special.  So were Mom and Dad.  That kind of love doesn’t exist for everybody; I realized that a long time ago.  I consider myself lucky that Kate and I get along for the most part.  We respect each other.  It’s just so unfair to her.”  He slumped down in the chair, stretching his long legs out in front of him.   He studied the toes of his boots intently and Hannah raged silently against his sense of nobility that could be quite unaccommodating at times.  But, that was Crane, she told herself ruefully.  The most disturbing part of this whole thing was his claim that he didn’t believe in love.  She couldn’t believe that!

           “Look, Crane,” she began seriously.  “Adam and I aren’t special, and neither were your parents.  Love is there for anybody who has the strength and courage to take it.”  She hugged her knees and watched for his reaction.  There was none to speak of, so she continued.  “You and Kate share something special, anyone can see that.  Why are you so sure it isn’t love?”

           “Hannah, we fight all the time for one thing, and for another, she cares about someone else.”  Crane gave his sister-in-law a skeptical glance and she sighed heavily.

           “What about you?  Don’t you care for her?”  She asked, not about to give in to his arguments to the contrary.

           “Of course I do!”  He exclaimed softly, not wanting to awaken Zachary.  “But it’s not love, Hannah.  Not like what you and Adam share.”

           “But you and Kate aren’t Adam and me!”  Hannah almost exploded with frustration.  “And you’re not your parents either.  Why should you expect it all to be the same?”

            “Han, it’s all academic anyway.  She’s in love with someone else, I’m not in love with anybody and the only reason we got married was so that she and Kayla wouldn’t lose the ranch.”  His calm was ruffled now, Hannah realized by the way his eyes flashed as he turned to face her.

           “But now you feel guilty because she’s carrying your children and is happy about it.  Crane, I’m sorry, but there’s something wrong with your reasoning, and no matter how hard you try, you’re not going to convince me that there isn’t something between you and Kate.”  Hannah refused to listen to any more of his explanations and logical thoughts.  She knew what she knew, and that was all there was to it.  She wondered fleetingly who it was that Kate was supposed to be in love with, but dismissed the person as being unimportant.  She’d felt the electricity between Kate and Crane, seen the way she looked at him at times, and after all, she was carrying his children.  There was definitely something there.

           “Look, can we drop the subject?” He asked, noting the determined set to her chin.  “The others must be wondering what we’ve been doing up here for the past hour.”  He got to his feet and gazed down at her.  Smiling secretively, knowing that it would infuriate him, she too got to her feet.

           “Crane, don’t sell yourselves short.  Remember what I told you.  You and Kate are two different people, and you can’t expect your relationship to follow any set pattern.”  She gave him a pert little grin, certain that she had made him think about what he had told her in a new light.  She knew that she would continue to worry about him, but she had faith that it would all work out for the best.  Things usually did for the McFaddens, and this should be no exception.

 

 

............. Chapter Eighteen

           Kate watched the whirling, soaring young bodies with a smile on her face.  She was proud of her dance class.  They had met every challenge that she had given them and at times had done even better than she expected.  She was thankful that Evan had turned out to be an indispensable right hand man.  She could not longer teach by example, but her brother-in-law had proven adept at translating her words into actions, enabling her to continue with the class much longer that she had thought possible.  And it was a joy to teach the class, she acknowledged silently.

           “Well, what did you think?”  Evan demanded, planting himself in front of her, trying valiantly not to appear to out of breath.

           “It was great.”  Kate assured him and the group of dancers who were quick to gather around her.  “I would venture to say that your show is going to be a big success, and I only hope that I’m going to be able to see it.”  She smiled ruefully, patting the large expanse of stomach that only seemed to get bigger with every passing day.

           “You mean you might miss it?”  One of the boys asked, dismayed at the thought.

           “I might not have a choice,” Kate chuckled.  “The doctor says that the twins can come at any time after the next couple of weeks, so I have to be prepared for anything.  Hopefully they’ll be nice and hold off until after the show.  I really don’t want to miss it.”  She thought of all the hard work the youngsters had put into the small production.  It would be a shame if she had to miss it.  The whole McFadden clan was planning on going, and she was a McFadden.

           “Kate, what’s that you have hanging around your neck?”  One of the girls, Leigh Travers, asked curiously.  Smiling, Kate held up the charm that hung from a long gold chain.

           “This?  It’s a fish.  My husband gave it to me for Christmas,” she replied, not realizing that she was blushing attractively.

           “Is it your zodiac sign or something?”  Leigh inquired.  She had quite a collection of charms herself, hence her curiosity.

           “No,” Kate shook her bright head.  “It’s a wishing fish,” she chuckled a little shyly.  “See, I’m always saying ‘I wish’, and when we were all kids, Crane’s and Evan’s mom always used to tell me, ‘If wishes were fishes, pigs might fly’.  Now, Crane quotes the same thing to me almost every day,” she explained, feeling a little silly.

           “So he gave you a wishing fish?”  Leigh laughed in pleased amazement.  The idea had obviously intrigued her.  “I think that’s neat.”  She stated.

           “So what did you wish for?”  One of the boys asked.

           “Nothing yet,” she admitted.  “I haven’t thought of anything good enough yet.”  She was not about to tell this eager group of teenagers that every night since Christmas, she had wished with all her heart that one day her husband would return her love.  It was absurd, but she had faith that one day, the little gold fish would come through and she would get her wish.  Naïve and childish it may have been, but it was the only thing that kept her going these days.

           “Well, we have a small surprise for you,” Evan announced, much to her surprise.  She watched wide-eyed as some of her students disappeared into the back room of the studio, while the others all wore grins that threatened to split their young faces from ear to ear.

           “What’s this all about?”  She demanded, this time knowing that she was blushing furiously.

           “We wanted to get you something for the newest additions to the McFadden clan,” Leigh explained, barely able to keep from hopping up and down in her excitement.  “There’s getting to be so many of you that we all want to keep on the right side of you,” she added with a wry giggle.

           “You kids are just too much!”  Kate protested, not knowing what to say in the face of all this.  Her eyes grew even rounder as four of the boys came forward, arms full of gaily wrapped packages.  “Oh my!” She exclaimed, quite shocked by the whole procedure.

           “Now you sit there, and we’ll hand the stuff to you to open,” Evan told her, taking charge of the situation in true McFadden fashion.  The students sat in a large semi-circle around the mother-to-be and urged her to begin.  She didn’t know who was more excited, herself or the teenagers.  With a helpless shrug, she accepted the first package from Leigh and set about ripping the paper off with much approved gusto.

           “It’s just like Christmas!”  She claimed, eyes sparkling.

 

           “Oh, Crane, you should have seen their faces!”  Kate turned to face her husband as they drove home after the dance class, the back seat of the red Mustang piled high with boxes.  “They were so thrilled to be able to give us all these things!  It was fantastic!”  Her eyes shone with the memory.  She had been deeply touched by her students’ gesture.  She had always felt a special closeness with the kids, but she had not realized how much they really cared for her.  It was more than the normal teacher-student relationship.  They were all friends.

           “It’s a good thing I came to pick you up,” he grinned.  “This stuff would never have fit with you, Evan and Guthrie in the jeep.”  He shook his head in slight bemusement.  He had been quite shocked at the sight that greeted him when he arrived to pick up his wife after class.  There she sat, amidst piles of boxes and wrapping paper, exclaiming over the smallest pair of running shoes he had ever seen.  It hadn’t taken much urging from the students to get him to sit in on the remainder of the gift opening, for he was quite fascinated by all the tiny pieces of clothing.  He was certain the he never had been so small, conveniently forgetting how tiny Zachary had been the day he had delivered him.

           “The kids are all certain that we’re going to have two boys,” Kate told him with a slight chuckle.  “Their reasoning being that there have been nothing but male McFaddens born for years.”

           “I should think that’s all the more reason to figure that there might be a girl coming along quite soon,” Crane observed in amusement.  It occurred to Kate that he had never voiced any speculation on the sex of their coming offspring.

           “What do you think?”  She asked curiously, suddenly determined that he would voice an opinion before they arrived at the Bar C.

           “It changes with the wind,” he told her airily.  “On days when you’re cranky, I’m sure that we’re going to have at least one daughter, and on other days, I’m convinced that they’re both boys.”  A grin tugged at the corners of his mouth, and Kate realized that she was being teased.

           “I don’t get cranky!”  She protested, ignoring the pointed glance he gave her from the corner of his eye.  “Besides, that has nothing to do with it.”

           “How do you know?”  He demanded.

           “’Cause I know.” She responded stubbornly.  “Don’t start with me please,” she glared at him.

           “And you don’t get cranky?”  He laughed in obvious amusement.

           “C’mon, Crane, what do you think the babies are going to be?”  She coaxed, returning to her original train of thought.  He sighed in capitulation, realizing that she was not about to give up.

           “Katy, I really don’t know,” he admitted.  “But it would be kind of nice if one of them was a girl.”  His smile held a trace of shyness that touched her heart.  She had known that he would want a daughter.

           “Yes, it would,” she agreed, satisfied the he had finally said something on the subject.  “If only to give Zachary a run for his money when they get a little older,” she grinned, thinking back to the troubles she and Kayla had caused the McFadden boys all those years ago.

           “I’m sure you’d give her hints on that,” Crane acknowledged wryly, his expression one of pity for his nephew.

           “I think I’ve just been insulted,” Kate noted.  Her hand crept up to touch the little gold charm that meant so much to her.  At times such as this, she felt so close to her husband, it was difficult to believe that he couldn’t love her as much as she loved him.  It was on the tip of her tongue to finally tell him of her feelings in the hope that he might suddenly confess to the same thing, but he spoke first, breaking the moment.

           “Katy, I hope it’s not going to be too hard on you with Brian and Kayla finally getting down to making plans for the future and starting to build their house,” he said quietly, and Kate’s spirits took a quick nosedive.  If he thought that she still loved Brian, there was no way he would ever thing of falling in love with her.

           “I think I can handle it,” she said, more bitterly than she had planned.  “At any rate, it’s something we’ll just have to live with, isn’t it?”  She was sharper than intended, but he had made her angry.  Despite her feelings for him, she had lost none of her temper.  She was still able to rage at him for any given reason at any given time.  “I really don’t want to discuss it, Crane,” she told him coolly.  “There’s nothing to be done about the situation except to accept it and live with it the best we know how.”  Some perverse streak within her would not allow her to tell him that his beliefs about her feelings for his brother were now unfounded.  If he wanted to think that she loved Brian, then let him.  It would serve him right.

           “I’m sorry if I upset you,” he offered sincerely, which only made her angrier.  How could he be so obtuse?

           “Crane, I don’t want to talk about it!”  She repeated through clenched teeth.

           “Fine.”  The one word came out clipped and terse.  Kate stared out the window, blinking back tears and frustration.  The remainder of the ride home was cold and silent.

 

           The twins proved to be accommodating as the night of the dance class production arrived.  The twinges that Kate had been experiencing off and on for the past days had not made themselves felt throughout the day or evening, so off to the show she and Crane went with the rest of the family.  The program was quite a success and Kate was proud of her students.  She accepted numerous compliments in their name, and returned home, tired and happy.

           Upon entering the house, she decided that she was really too tired to join Crane, Daniel and Kayla for a pot of coffee and some freshly baked muffins, and headed off to bed, assuring one and all that she felt perfectly fine and there would be no new arrivals during the night.

           Once in her bed, however, she found that sleep was being very elusive.  She could not find a position that was in the least comfortable for her ungainly form, and her thoughts refused to quiet, continuing to spin about, denying her the sleep she desired.

          Once again, coldness had crept into her marriage ever since the day Crane had picked her up at dance class.  Oh, they still continued to be the happy expectant parents on the outside, but Kate could not deny that once left on their own, no more than two sentences strung together passed between them.  More than once, she had retreated to the confines for the bedroom and given vent to hot tears of despair.  The thought of living the rest of her life in this fashion was almost unbearable.  It only wishes were fishes.

           A long while later, she heard Kayla’s soft footsteps in the hallway as her sister headed for bed.  She lay there, waiting for the heavier steps of Daniel, followed by those of her husband, but after Kayla, the hallway was silent.  Curiosity and frustration over not being able to sleep getting the better of her, she climbed out of bed and wrapped her robe about her, intending to join them men.  At the top of the stairs, she heard Daniel offer to get more coffee and Crane agree.  She paused for a moment, suddenly uncertain about joining them when she heard Crane begin to pick out notes on the piano.  Deciding to stay where she was for the moment, she eased herself down to sit on the top step, smiling when Dickens came to lay at her side.  Scratching the puppy’s ears fondly, she lay her head against the wall and listened to the song that come floating up from the living room.  She smiled once again when she realized that it was one of her current favorites.  She hadn’t known that Crane had managed to pick it up.  A slight contraction rippled through her, but she ignored it, intent on listening to the song her husband was singing.

                     “I can’t fight this feeling any longer  
                     And yet I’m still afraid to let it flow.   
                     What started out as friendship has grown stronger   
                     I only wish I had the strength to let it show.

                     I tell myself that I can’t hold out forever,  
                     I say there is no reason for my fear.   
                     ‘Cause I feel so secure when we’re together,   
                     You give my life direction, you make everything so clear.

                    And even as I wander, I’m keeping you in sight.  
                    You’re a candle in the window on a cold dark winter’s night.   
                    And I’m getting closer than I ever thought I might.

                    Then I can’t fight this feeling any more  
                    I’ve forgotten what I started fighting for.   
                    It’s time to bring this ship into the shore   
                    And throw away the oars forever.

                    ‘Cause I can’t fight this feeling any more  
                    I’ve forgotten what I started fighting for.   
                    And if I have to crawl upon the floor,   
                    Come crashing through the door,   
                    Baby, I can’t fight this feeling anymore.   
 

                    My life has been such a whirlwind since I saw you.  
                    I’ve been running around in circles in my mind.   
                   And you know it seems that I’m following you girl,   
                   ‘Cause you take me to the places that alone I’d never find.

                   And even as I wander, I’m keeping you in sight.  
                   You’re a candle in the window on a cold dark winter’s night   
                   But I’m getting closer than I ever thought I might.

                   And I can’t fight this feeling anymore  
                   I’ve forgotten what I started fighting for.   
                   It’s time to bring this ship into the shore   
                   And throw away the oars forever.

                   ‘Cause I cant’ fight this feeling anymore,  
                   I’ve forgotten what I started fighting for.   
                   And if I have to crawl upon the floor,   
                   Come crashing through your door,   
                   Baby, I can’t fight this feeling anymore.”   Crane’s voice trailed off, mingling with the final piano notes and Kate found that her eyes has misted over with tears.   There had been a wealth of feeling in the voice that had sung that song, and she couldn’t help but wonder if maybe the little gold fish was proving itself, finally.

           “That was nice.”  Daniel’s voice reached her ears.  “Any meaning behind it?”  There was a trace of amusement in his tone.

           “What do you mean?”  Crane’s voice was soft and Kate had to strain to hear it.  She knew she shouldn’t be listening to their conversation, but she couldn’t help it.

           “It sorta sounds like you may be admitting to something you’ve been denying for a long time, big brother.  Like maybe you care more for your wife that you’ve been pretending?  Don’t look so shocked.  Here’s your coffee.”  Daniel chuckled.

           “Daniel, don’t you understand?”  Crane sighed heavily.  “I can’t let myself love her.  She’s in love with Brian.  I lost her to him once and that hurt enough for one lifetime.  I don’t intend to go through that again.  There’s only so much one man can take.”  There was a helplessness in his voice that Kate had never heard before.

           “But Crane, can’t you make her love you?  I mean, she is your wife, not Brian’s, and she is going to have your babies.  I should think that gives you a fighting chance, and you know that a fighting chance is all a McFadden needs.”  Daniel endeavored to convince his brother, and Kate held her breath.  Crane would love her if only he’d let himself!

           “Daniel, there’s too much against us.  She’s loved Brian for years, and as for me, well, I’ve talked myself out of finding love.  I can’t, Daniel.  I just can’t.”  Kate choked back a sob at these words, the admission that he could not, would not ever love her.

           “Crane, sometimes you can be really dumb.”  Daniel stated, obviously fed up with the turn the conversation had taken.  “I’m going to bed.”

           “Oh, no!”  Kate whispered to herself, struggling to get to her feet.  She didn’t want to be caught on the stairs, eavesdropping like some flighty teenager.  With a great sight of relief, she closed the bedroom door before Daniel’s first footstep sounded on the stairs.  She waited to hear the sound of Crane following, but in vain.  Dashing away the tears that spilled from her eyes, she climbed back into bed, a determination growing within her.

           “I will make him love me.  If it takes years, I will make him love me!”  She vowed into the darkness, her hand cupped around the small golden fish.

 

Chapter Nineteen

           “C’mon, Kate!  Move it, will ya!”  Brian pleaded from the doorway, his impatience blatantly obvious.  “We’ve been waiting for you for at least five minutes.”

           “Oh, relax, Guthrie doesn’t finish school for another hour at least,” she told him witheringly.  She hadn’t slept well after the overheard revelations of the previous night, causing her temper to be even shorter than usual.  The occasional contractions had not helped her dark humour either, so consequently, she was shorter with Brian than she meant to be.

           “I’ll be glad when those kids of yours are born,” he remarked giving her a narrow look.  “It ought to improve your disposition at least a hundred percent.”  This was the third time that day that the two of them had locked horns over something.  The first had been early that morning when he had arrived at the back door demanding a cup of coffee in his usual brash way.  She had ripped into him quite vociferously.  His second miscue occurred when he quite accidentally stepped on Dickens’ tail, causing the puppy to yelp more in shock than any pain.  That had caused Kate to give vent to her pent up anxieties in another five-minute tirade directed at Brian.

           “You know, I don’t know what I ever saw in you,” she marveled, picking up her purse from the couch and checking inside for her wallet.  “You’re a royal pain in the backside, Brian McFadden.” She stated disparagingly.  “And you’ve caused me nothing but trouble for years!”  She accused, then suddenly realized exactly what she had said.  Her mouth formed a rouond O and she blushed furiously.

           “Just what is that supposed to mean?”  He demanded, a very interested light coming into his blue eyes.

           “Forget it.”  She said hastily, not wanting to pursue this particular subject at the moment. 

           “Are you trying to tell me, Kathleen Cantrell, that you’ve held a grudge against me all these years, ever since you so prettily confessed your undying teenage devotion to me?”  He seemed totally fascinated at the idea.

           “My undying teenage devotion!”  She exploded, incensed at the flippant way he described what had turned out to be the major stumbling block to her happiness.  “I used to think that you were the most wonderful thing to ever wear pants!” She informed him acidly.  “And it took me a long time to figure out that I was sadly mistaken.”  Her green eyes flashed angrily.

           “Why are you so upset after all this time?”  Brian demanded.  “Listen, Katy…”

           “Don’t you call me that!”  She snapped.

            “Sorry.  What I was going to say, Kathleen, is that  I’m sorry if I hurt you back then.  I tried not to.  It’s not that you weren’t one of the most attractive things to cross my path that summer, because you were, and under any other circumstances I probably would have accepted what you were offering, but the way things were, I just couldn’t.”  His explanation only served to confuse her further.

           “What way things were?”  She felt some of the anger leave her to be replaced by curiosity.  “I don’t understand.”

           “Do you expect me to believe that you had no idea that my little brother, your husband, was head over heels nuts about you even back then?  Honey, I don’t poach, especially on my brothers.”  He gave her a small lop-sided grin.

           “Oh, Brian, I didn’t know.”  Kate’s voice was no louder than a whisper.  He began to say something but was drowned out by the sound of the car horn honking impatiently.

           “C’mon, we’d better get going before Crane breaks that horn,” Brian advised, surprised at the reaction she displayed at his revelation of something he’d been certain she was aware of.  “You’ve got some grocery shopping to do, and we have to get Guthrie at school along with his over-sized science project.”

           “Lord, I’ve been so dumb!”  She moaned, more to herself than her brother-in-law as she followed him out of the house.  “I wish I could have all those days back.”

 

           “What the hell did you do to get Kate all riled up at you today?”  Crane asked his brother curiously, once they had dropped her off at the grocery store to do the weeks shopping.

           “Nothing recent,” Brian responded cryptically.  Things were beginning to fall into place in his mind, and he wasn’t sure he liked the picture they were making.  “Hey, Crane, you did such a good job on those high chairs and cribs that Kayla and I were wondering if maybe you could do some of the furniture making for us when we get the house together,” He changed the subject.

           “Sure,” Crane agreed easily.  “Just get Kayla to tell me what she wants and I’ll see what I can do.”

           “She’ll give you a list as long as your arm,” the older brother warned with a grin.  They fell to discussing the building of the little house with the big bay window until Crane turned the little red sports car into the driveway that led to Guthrie’s school.

           “He ought to be out in about ten minutes.”  Crane checked his watch and settled into his seat to wait.  Suddenly, a thunderous noise deafened them and both men bolted straight up and stared through the windshield.  Under their shocked gazes, flames of fire began to shoot through the windows of the east end of the school.

           “It’s that damned boiler.  I told James that it was gonna blow one day!”  Brian exclaimed, tugging on the door handle.

           “C’mon, we have to help get those kids out!”  Crane was out of the car before the sentence was completed.

           By the time the brothers reached the entrance to the school, children were beginning to stream out, many of them crying, all of them scared out of their wits.  Inside, chaos reigned as smoke billowed down the hallways from the damaged end of the building.  Screams and cries filled the air over the frightening noise of crackling flames.

           “Jesus, Brian, it doesn’t look good!”  Crane called out over the noise.  “You go upstairs, I’ll take this floor.”

           “Be careful, Crane.”  Brian yelled back,  taking the stairs two at a time.

           “Yeah, you too,” he returned, disappearing into the billowing smoke.

 

           “What in God’s name was that?”  The woman in front of Kate at the butcher’s counter cried as the sound of the explosion reached them.

           “I don’t know,” Kate replied, wincing at a contraction.  They had begun to come fairly regularly.

           “It’s the school!  The elementary school!”  A man dashed into the store, his face a mask of horror.

           “Crane!”  Kate gasped out, moving to the doorway as quickly as she could.  Over the tops of the houses and the trees, there could be seen clouds of black smoke and tongues of flame.  She felt a cold paralyzing fear grip at her, blanking her mind of every thought except that of her husband.

          “Kate!  Kate!  Are you okay?”  Young Leigh was at her side, appearing out of nowhere.  Kate had never been so thankful to see anyone in her life.

           “We have to get to the school!”  She told her student. “Help me, please!”

           “This way, I have my car.  It’s too far for you in your condition,” the girl said, leading Kate towards a battered station wagon parked nearby.  “Don’t worry, young Guthrie will be fine,” she soothed, certain that Kate’s worry was for her youngest brother-in-law.

           “Oh, Lord, I forgot about him and Brian!”  Kate bit down on her knuckles to choke back a sob of fear.  “Leigh, Crane and Brian went to pick Guthrie up.  They’ll both be in the thick of the whole mess!  Oh, please, hurry!”  She pleaded as the car pulled away from the curb.

           It was not a pretty sight that met their eyes as they approached the burning school.  Total chaos abounded.  Children and adults ran about, obviously panicked.  Some of the teachers who had been able to get out of the building had kept their heads however, and were in the process of helping the injured children.  Kate searched frantically for a sign of her husband, but in vain.  Her contractions were getting stronger, but she ignored them, her mind bent on finding Crane.

           “Kate!”  Guthrie suddenly appeared in front of her, streaked with soot, eyes wide in fright.  She grabbed at his shoulders, thankful to see the he was at least unharmed.

           “Where’s Crane?” She demanded.

           “Him and Brian are inside trying to get some people out,” the boy gasped.  “It’s awful in there, Kate.  Fire and smoke.  There’s a whole classroom full of kids trapped up on the second floor and the first floor has almost been destroyed!  Oh, Kate, I’m so frightened!”  Two large tears left a trail in the black on his face.

           “Me too, Guth, me too.”  She agreed, holding as close as she could.  Despite her fear, she realized that there were other people who needed attention.  Gathering her scattered wits and trying to calm herself somewhat by taking a deep breath, she moved into action.

          “Leigh, go see if you can help Mrs. Bryce with the little ones,” she ordered firmly.  “Guthrie, grab a couple of your friends who can be counted on and try and round up the kids that aren’t hurt and get them out of the way.  I hear the fire trucks coming now, and the men won’t appreciate children running rampant.  Go on.  It’s okay.”  She gave him a little push.  He’d do fine, she knew.  His brothers had seen to that.  Taking another deep breath, she headed off to where it seemed the most help was needed.  The ever-growing group of injured.

           Kate had no time to give her husband more than a passing thought over the next little while.  There were so many burnt children to be taken care of.  To be sure, most of them were injured only slightly, but they were all badly frightened.  Putting aside her own growing discomfort, she seemed to be everywhere, soothing the children, giving preliminary first-aid to those in need, all the while keeping one eye on the progress of the newly-arrived firemen.

           “Yo!  Get me a ladder up here!”  Brian’s voice boomed hoarsely over the noise.  Kate turned to see him half-hanging out of an open window on the second floor of the burning building.  “Hurry it up, there’s at least twenty kids up here, trapped.   We can’t get back into the hallway.”  He disappeared back inside for a moment.  “Hurry!”  He called back out a moment later as smoke began to billow out from behind him.  Kate’s heart was in her mouth as she watched the firemen hurry the ladder into place.  The child she held in her arms began to whimper, reminding her of where her attention should be at the moment.

           “Oh, Crane, please be alright!”  She whispered.  Pushing aside the worries that had returned stronger than before, she administered to the injured child.

           “Kate, are you okay?”  Leigh joined her, her young face a mask of contained fright.

            “No time to worry about me now,” Kate told her.  “Help me here.  This little one’s hurt pretty bad.”  Their heads bent over the little boy as they went to work.  If only there were enough paramedics to go around, Kate found herself thinking before her complete attention was focused on the small body.  She and Leigh worked, oblivious to the chaos around them.  Finally, one of the paramedics arrived to take over and both girls breathed a sigh of relief.  The boy was in good hands now.

           “Kate!  What are you doing here?”  Brian limped over to them, soot-blackened, singed, but otherwise in one piece after getting everyone out of the second floor classroom safely.

           “Brian, where’s Crane?”  Kate demanded, struggling to her feet.

           “I saw him last inside,” he told her suddenly concerned.  “Hasn’t he come out yet?  That first floor is a bloody mess,” he added, more to himself than to Kate and Leigh.

           “Oh, Brian, you don’t think…?”  All the colour drained from Kate’s face as a dreadful thought struck her.  If Brian had been on the second floor, chances were that Crane had taken the first floor.  That was how they worked.  She looked at the blazing inferno that had once been the east wing of the school.  He couldn’t be trapped in there!  He just couldn’t be!

           “Kate, get a hold of yourself!”  Brian commanded harshly, grabbing her shoulders in a vise-like grip.  “Damn, you shouldn’t be here in your condition!”

           “My husband is in there!”  She screamed at him.

           “Kate, calm down!”  He ordered, giving her a small shake.  The stark look on her face was frightening him.

            “Brian!”  Suddenly Guthrie was there, flinging his arms about his brother’s waist with the intention of never letting him go, it seemed.

           “Kate, look!  It’s Crane!”  Leigh pointed to a spot in the inferno where for the moment, the smoke cleared away to reveal a window through which a man was helping a woman who had obviously injured her leg.

           “Crane!”  Kate screamed and began to head towards him.

            “Stay here!”  Brian thundered, charging past her to aid his brother, a fireman close behind.  Leigh came to stand beside her distraught dancing instructor and keep her from going off after the men.  Guthrie flanked her other side and grasped her hand tightly.  As they watched in some horror, Crane disappeared back inside once he was certain the woman was in good hands.  Kate held her breath until he reappeared, this time holding a child in his arms.  Smoke swirled about the scene for a long moment, and she strained to see what was happening, but in vain.  A small moan escaped her as she tried to shake free from Leigh’s restraining arm, but suddenly, the smoke cleared once again and she shrieked her husband’s name.  Brian was handing the child to a nearby paramedic, his back to his brother who lay over the windowsill, unconscious.

           “Let me go!”  Kate wrenched away from the hands that held her and rushed forward.  Nothing was going to stop her from reaching the man she loved.

           “Kate, Kate, he’s alive!”  Brian told her breathlessly, struggling under the weight of his brother as he pulled him from the window.  “Let me get him over to the paramedics.”

           “Brian, is he going to be alright?”  She demanded, trying to keep up with her brother-in-law’s long strides.

           “He’d better be, or I’ll wring his neck!”  Brian vowed through clenched teeth.  They had reached the first aid station by this time and he gently lay Crane down on a spread blanket.  Kate dropped to her knees beside her husband, all eyes as a paramedic began to work on him.

           “He saved us, you know,” the woman that Crane had helped out of the building sat close by.  Kate turned to look at her, dashing the tears from her cheeks.  “Kenny and I were pinned under debris from the explosion and couldn’t get loose.  The other kids tried to help us, but they were too scared.  He came into the room, through the flames, and managed to get the others out, and then he freed us.  He was very brave.”  She smiled weakly and Kate returned it as best she could.

           “He’s a McFadden,” she explained, eyes filling with tears once again.  She turned back to the man who was tending to her husband.  “Is he going to be alright?”  She asked hesitantly, afraid of what she would hear.  He was so pale beneath the soot, and there were angry looking burns all over the exposed parts of his skin.

           “He must have been clouted on the head,” the man said, pointing to an ugly bruise on Crane’s forehead.  “And he’s inhaled a considerable amount of smoke.  We have to get him to the hospital.”  He stood up and motioned for someone to bring over a stretcher.  Numb with fear, Kate bent over her husband’s prostrate form.

            “You’d better not die, Crane McFadden!"  She told him fiercely, certain that deep inside he could hear her.  “I’m going to make sure you don’t.  I have to prove to you that I love you, not Brian.  You have to be alright!  You have to let me prove to you that you can love me back if you’ll only give it a chance!  Don’t fail me this time.  You have to come through for me and our children!”  Tears flowed from her eyes, dropping to his face, leaving trails in the soot.

           “Kate, come on, let these people do their jobs and get him to the hospital,”  Brian prodded gently, helping her to her feet as two men lifted Crane to the stretcher.  He held her tightly as they watched the unconscious man being wheeled off to the ambulance.  “He’s gonna be fine, Kate.  I promise you.”  His arm tightened around her shoulders.  “C’mon, I’ll take you to be with him.”

           “No, Brian.”  She turned her face upwards to look at him, wincing as another contraction began.  She could ignore them no longer.  “Take me to have the kids.  They’re on their way right now.”  She told him calmly, just as her water broke.

           “Damned McFadden timing!”  He cursed and swept her into his arms to carry her to the car.

 

           “Guthrie!”  Adam and Hannah raced up to the youngest McFadden.  A close friend of Hannah’s had called the Circle Bar Seven with the news of the explosion, and leaving Zachary with an anxious Kayla, they had headed quickly into town, fearful for the boy’s safety.

           “Am I glad you guys are here!”  The boy exclaimed around Hannah’s hug.  “They forgot me!”

           “What happened?”  Adam demanded, eyes scanning the scene before him.  The firemen now had things well in hand, and it appeared that his help would not be needed, so he turned his full attention back to his little brother.

           “The school blew up, Brian and Crane went into the building to help.  Brian saved a whole class of people and Crane saved another whole group of people.  Brian’s okay, but they took Crane to the hospital.  Kate was here, and she helped everybody until they got Crane out, then she left with Brian.  I think she said that the babies were coming.”  The boy’s garbled explanation was clear enough for Hannah and Adam to get an idea of what had happened.

           “We have to get to the hospital!”  Adam exclaimed worriedly, grabbing Hannah by the hand and rushing back to the jeep.

            “Hey, don’t forget me this time!”  Guthrie yelled, running to catch up.  He had no intention of being left behind again.

 

 

Chapter Twenty

           “Kathleen, you’re fighting me.”  The doctor gave her a pointed look that told her she had better start cooperating.  “This is going to be hard enough on you as it is.”  He sighed heavily at the stubborn set of her chin.

           “Haven’t you heard anything about my husband?”  She asked for at least the tenth time since they had wheeled her in.  The doctor shook his head negatively, wishing he had some news for her.  She was not about to turn her mind to the subject of child-bearing until she had found out about her husband.  Two and a half hours earlier, Brian had left her in the admitting nurses capable hands and gone off to get some information on his brother, and she had not seen him since.  How could she concentrate on all the things she had learned about natural childbirth when she didn’t even know if her husband was dead or alive?  “Please, send someone to find out,” she pleaded.  She wanted to be brave, but the truth be told, she was petrified without Crane’s quiet assurance.  If only he were there, just to hold her hand and tell her everything would be perfectly alright.

           “You can’t go in there!”  There was a commotion at the door, and a moment later, two bedraggled figures entered the delivery room followed by a red-faced, angry nurse.

           “I can and I will.”  Crane stated determinedly, his face deathly pale, beads of sweat standing out on his grimy forehead.

           “Where he goes, I go,” Brian informed the woman.  “I promised his doctor I wouldn’t leave him alone.”  He gave her a charm-filled smile.

           “Crane’!”  A great smile split Kate’s face as she realized that her husband was very much alive, if slightly damaged.

           “Gown those men!”  The doctor barked, knowing that he had no hope of getting them to leave.  He knew the McFaddens of old.

           “Should you be here?”  Kate asked her husband, grateful that he was.  He bent and kissed the top of her head before submitting to the ministrations of the nurse who was trying to help him into a surgical gown.

           “They couldn’t keep me away,” he told her with a reassuring smile.  Kate tore her gaze away from him and cocked a quizzical eyebrow at a grinning Brian.

           “He’s got a concussion and various cuts and bruises, not to mention some nasty burns, but once he knew you were in here, he wouldn’t sit still until the doctor in the emergency room gave his permission to come up here.  I promised to keep an eye on him.  They’re getting awfully swamped down there, you know.”  He smiled expansively, having succeeded in bringing his brother where he was wanted most.

           “Crane, I was so worried about you!”  Kate raised a hand to touch his cheek gently, her green eyes shining with happy tears.  “You looked so dead!”  she added, causing everyone in the room to chuckle.

            “Can we get back to the business at hand, please?”  The doctor looked at all three McFaddens, endeavoring to appear stern.  “We have a couple of babies to deliver.  That is if I can get some cooperation around here.”

           “Sure.”  Kate smiled at him, her expression changing as a particularly powerful contraction gripped her.

           “I’m sitting right here.”  Brian announced, sitting down rather heavily on a handy stool, his face suddenly pale.  “How do I get myself into these situations?”  He grumbled, not really sure that he wanted to be a part of this birth business.  It was Kate, not some cow or horse, after all.

           “Okay, kiddo, let’s get to work.”  Crane smiled down at his wife, and Kate immediately relaxed.

           The birth of the twins would always remain a mass of diverse impressions for Kate.  There was discomfort, there was pain, but it all seemed to remain part of the background.  She was much more aware of Crane’s hand holding hers, or rubbing her back to release some of the tension, his voice constantly close to her ear, murmuring the comforting words that she would never remember.  He was hoarse, thanks to all the smoke that had burned his throat that afternoon, but his voice was music to her ears.  Standing out in her memories would always be the expression on Brian’s face as he sat in his corner, not knowing whether to be enthralled by what was going on, or petrified.  Many times, the fixed grin on his face was baffled.  After what seemed an interminable amount of time and endless commands to push, her first child was born.

           “It’s a girl!”  Crane told her proudly, the colour finally coming back into his face.

           “She’s perfect,” Brian added in awe, and Kate smiled.  Crane had his daughter, the first female McFadden to be born in three generations.  There was a quick flurry of activity, and Brian somehow found himself holding his niece, his perfect niece, while Crane returned to his wife’s side.

           “Halfway there, Katy,” he said softly and she nodded.  In seemingly no time at all, he was holding their second child up for her to see.

           “Uh-oh,  Zachary’s in real trouble now,” she chuckled tiredly.  “Two girl cousins to cope with.”

           “They’re both beautiful,” Crane assured her, bending to place a butterfly-soft kiss on her lips.  “Just like their mother.”  He added with a smile.  It was on the tip of her tongue to admit how much she loved him, but he suddenly turned pale and seemed to sway on his feet.  Brian was at his brother’s side immediately.

           “Time to find you a bed, partner,” he advised, taking a hold of the younger man’s arm.  “You’ve had a busy day.”

           “Get him downstairs before he passes out.”  The doctor ordered swiftly.  “Kate and the babies will be fine, but I won’t answer for his condition if he stays here any longer.”

            “I’m fine,”  Crane protested somewhat hollowly.

            “No you’re not!”  Kate contradicted a spiritedly as she could.  She was so tired!  “Brian, get him to a bed, please.  Crane, don’t argue.  Get out of here!”  Her eyes pleaded with her brother-in-law to do something and he grinned.

           “I’ll put him over my shoulder if I have to.  He’s still my little brother,” he reassured her.  “You did great,” he added, bending over to kiss her cheek before half-carrying his brother from the delivery room.

           “You McFaddens!”  The doctor shook his head ruefully.  “Always trouble.”  He smiled at the young mother who now held her daughters for the first time.  “And you need sleep, young woman,” he told her firmly, motioning for her to be wheeled from the room.  Still chuckling over the adventures of the McFaddens, he headed off to the emergency room where he knew he was needed.

 

           The waiting room was spilling over with McFaddens and one lone Cantrell.  It had not taken long for the ‘gathering of the clan’ to take place.  Upon their arrival at the hospital, Adam and Hannah were told that Crane had not been critically injured and Kate was indeed in labour.  Of Brian there had been no sign, but the nurse on duty was quick to reassure them that he was fine.  They immediately called the Circle Bar Seven to give Kayla the news, and she insisted upon coming to the hospital herself, bringing with her Daniel and Zachary.  Ford and Evan had arrived soon after, having heard the news through the local grapevine, which as usual worked at lightning speed.  Even young Leigh Travers put in an appearance, worried dreadfully about Kate’s condition.

           “I hate this waiting!”  Adam exclaimed in frustration as he finished his third cup of coffee in a row.  He glanced over at the chair that held his son, sleeping soundly in his traveling seat.  “I wish I was six months old,” he sighed, envying Zachary’s state.

           “Adam.  Adam, how’s Crane?”  A tall, slender woman entered the room, eyes swollen from tears.

           “They tell us he’s going to be okay.  Just a concussion and stuff like that,” Adam replied.  “How’s you boy, Joan?  Was he caught in the fire?”  He asked gently and the woman nodded.

           “But he’s gong to be alright.  Crane got him out in time.  Kenny says that your brother pulled him and Mrs. Davidson out from under a pile of burning debris,” she explained.  “I just wanted to thank him.”

           “Don’t worry Joan,” Hannah said sympathetically.  “Both Kenny and Crane are going to be as right as rain.”  The woman nodded, then overcome with tears of relief, headed off to return to her son’s side.

           “They were both heroes,” Guthrie announced.  “Crane and Brian.  All the kids I talked to said they were great.”  He was so obviously proud of his adored older brothers that the others could not help but smile indulgently.  Both Crane and Brian were not going to be thrilled at being called heroes by the junior population of Murphys.

           “Hey, here comes Brian!”  Ford cried out excitedly, catching sight of his brother striding down the hall, a huge smile on his still-grimy face.

           “Well?”

           “How are they?”

           “Where the hell have you been?”

           “Brian, are you alright?” The questions came thick and fast, allowing the man no time to answer any of them.  Finally he held up his hands and waited until his family fell silent.

           “Crane’s going to be okay,” he began.  “He’s got a concussion and some nasty burns, but nothing that a few days in a hospital bed won’t cure.  He insisted on being with Kate, though.  Near punched out the doctor when he tried to keep him in the emergency room.  I thought we were going to have to tie him down until the doctor agreed he could go to her if I went along to make sure he was okay.  Kate’s just fine.  Had what the doctor called an easy delivery once she realized that Crane had not gone to meet his Maker.  And that was only once she saw him.”  He stopped, quite out of breath.  “Anybody got something wet and cold?”  He asked, peering into Kayla’s cup of coffee.

           “Well, what did she have?”  Daniel demanded.  “I presume you were there for the whole thing by the way you’re grinning like an idiot.”  He glared at his older brother.

           “Twins.”  Brian responded, eyes twinkling merrily.

           “No kidding!”  Kayla punched his arm as hard as she could.  “Don’t be provoking.”

           “Girls?  Boys?  One of each?  What?”  Adam flung his hands up in frustration.

           “Two of the most beautiful baby girls you have ever seen,” Brian finally admitted proudly, and bedlam broke loose in the waiting room.

           “Poor Zach.”  Adam sighed, picking up his son who had awakened amidst all the noise.  He winked at a speechless Kayla.  “Girl twins with Cantrell blood can only mean one thing.  Trouble for McFadden men.” 

 

           “Are you awake, Crane?”  Daniel asked, entering his brother’s hospital room that evening.

           “Yup.”  Crane responded, struggling to a sitting position in his bed.  He had slept for a couple of hours after Brian had settled him in his room and now felt much better for it.  His head still ached abominably, and every muscled of his body was making itself known.  One bad burn on his upper arm was giving him considerable discomfort, but all in all, he felt fairly decent and told his brother so with a smile.

           “Are you up for a little talk?”  Daniel asked, perching himself on the edge of the bed.

           “Sounds ominous,” Crane chuckled slightly.  “Have you seen the girls?  They’re the most beautiful little things.”  His eyes sparkled as he spoke of his newborn daughters.

           “I just came from a visit with Kate and was lucky enough to see them at close range.  Even held one of them,” Daniel smiled at the memory, then grew serious once again.  “That’s why I want to talk to you.”

           “Fire away.”  Crane wasn’t sure he liked the look in Daniel’s eyes.  Behind the determination, their was a hint of steel in the blue that foretold trouble for the older McFadden.

           “I want you to tell me again why you can’t let yourself love Kate.”  The set to Daniel’s jaw told Crane that he would not accept an evasive answer.

           “I told you, she’s in love with Brian,” he responded, the light in his eyes dimming.  “And I don’t believe I can love any woman, even Katy, ever again.”  His tone was filled with bitterness.

           “You know, Crane,” Daniel sighed heavily.  “Usually, you’re real smart about things, but this time you’re just being damned idiotic!  How can you be so certain that you can’t ever love anyone?”

           “Daniel, come off it.  You’ve lived with us long enough to know that we can’t pass a single day without arguing about something.  Anything!  That’s not any kind of love that I’ve ever heard of.”  Crane shook his head ruefully, almost enjoying the pain it caused.

           “What do you want?  Roses and soft music?”  Daniel demanded in exasperation.

           “Don’t be stupid Daniel,” Crane scowled.  “Look, Kate and I don’t expect love out of our marriage.  I can’t remember how many times she’s said she wished we could love each other.  It would make life a lot easier.  I wish we could too, don’t get me wrong, but we can’t and we have to live with that.”

           “I don’t think you really know what love is anymore, Crane,”  Daniel observed wisely.  “You expect it to be nice and homey like Mom and Dad, or like an old friendship like Hannah and Adam.  Brother, after living with you and Kate all this time, I’ve come to the conclusion that any kind of love you two would share would start with an explosion and continue along like a brush fire that never quite gets put out, flaring up every now and then.”

           “You are poetic tonight,” Crane offered sourly.  “You’re forgetting one thing.  My wife is in love with my brother and has been for years.  Why do you think she never came back after going to San Francisco?  Brian couldn’t love her back and she couldn’t face him.”  What that admission cost his brother, Daniel would never know.  He only saw frustration and anger light Crane’s blue eyes.

           “Get some clothes on an come with me.”  He ordered, not caring if Crane’s doctor had ordered complete bed rest or not.

           “Where are we going?”  Crane demanded, pulling on the bathrobe someone had conveniently thought to bring for him.

           “Just come with me.”  Daniel would say no more.  He had had enough of his brother’s absurd logic for one night, but was determined that before he left, Crane would have his eyes opened about a few things.

           “This is the nursery.  Are we allowed up here?”  Crane asked as Daniel led him down a hallway.

           “You are, I’m not, so one of the twins is mine if we get caught.”  Daniel could not resist a small chuckle, no matter how upset he was with his brother.

            “What’s the point, Daniel?”  They had reached the obligatory plate glass window by this time, and he peered into the dimly lit area, searching for his daughters and smiling paternally when he found them.

           “The point is this.  Or should I say them.”  Daniel pointed to the two babies that lay in bassinettes near the window.  “How can you not love the woman who gave you those two exquisite creatures because she knew how much you wanted a family?  I don’t care what the reasons were when you got married, but I can tell you this.  It wasn’t out of gratitude, whatever she might say.”  He searched his brother’s face for a sign that his words were having some affect, and thought that maybe they just might be.

           “Daniel, she loves Brian.  Not me!”  There was real anguish in Crane’s voice and Daniel knew it was time for his ace in the hole.

           “No way, brother mine,” he denied.  “I was talking to Leigh Travers, the girl in Evan’s dance class.  She stopped by to see how Kate was doing after the fire, and she told me about Kate’s reaction when she found out you were inside that building.  She was absolutely petrified that you might be hurt.  According to Leigh, she said she had completely forgotten that Guthrie and Brian might be in there too.  And when Brian came out, her first question was about you.  And as if that wasn’t’ enough to convince you of anything, when they brought you out, she was all over you, threatening you so you wouldn’t die before she had a chance to prove to you that she loved you.  Do you still want to persist in the belief that she loves Brian?”  Daniel stared at his brother, hands on hips, waiting for a response.

           “I thought once…no, she couldn’t. She keeps wishing that we could…oh, it’s too stupid to think about!”  Crane found himself searching for the words to match his jumbled thoughts.

           “Admit it.  You’ve been in love with her all along, haven’t you?”  His brother asked, and he nodded silently.  “Well, for the sake of your new daughters, do me a favour and go tell her right now.  I left her on the verge of tears after she poured her heart out to me.”  Daniel barely had time to get the words out before Crane was dashing off down the hallway, oblivious to his body’s aching protests.

 

           Kate heard the door to her small, private room open, but thinking it to be Daniel returning, kept her face hidden in her pillow.  She had nothing to hide from her brother-in-law anymore.   He knew the whole story now.  She had to admit, it had felt good to finally confide in someone.

           “Katy?”  Crane’s voice was soft and questioning.

           “I…I…thought you were Daniel,” she said, turning onto her back and dashing away the tell-tale tears.

           “Nope, I left him looking at the girls,” he told her, coming to sit on the edge of her bed.  “I hope you don’t mind, but I just might collapse on you if I don’t sit.”  He smiled almost shyly.

           “Oh, Crane, are you alright?”  She asked, instantly worried about him.

           “I’ve felt worse after a bar crawl with Brian and Adam,” he reassured her teasingly.  “How about you?”

           “I’m fine.”  Suddenly she felt extremely shy.  “Did you see the girls?  Aren’t they beautiful?”  Her eyes took on a luminous quality as she spoke of the two new beings they had managed to create.

            “As Daniel says, they’re quite exquisite,” the proud father agreed.  A silence fell between them, during which Kate found herself reaching for his hand, needing the comfort of holding it.  It had been a draining day with enough excitement for months in its hours.  “Katy, have you made your wish yet?”  He asked suddenly, picking up the chain and charm from the small table by the bed.

            “No, not really,” she lied, her heart suddenly pounding twice as fast as normal.  There was a speculative gleam in his eyes that set her on her guard.  He was planning something.

           “Mind if I use your wish?  I finally figured out something worth wishing for.”  His tone was light, but when he looked at her, there was blue fire in his eyes.

           “Crane, that’s silly,” she protested with a shaky laugh.

           “Now, I know you don’t believe that,” he admonished, letting go of her hand to tangle his fingers in a rope of freshly washed, long, auburn hair.  It was something he did often, he realized.  “How about it?  Care to part with your wish for a good cause?”

           “If it’s for a good cause,” she shrugged.  What was she to tell him?  That she had already wished her wish every night since Christmas?  “What are you going to wish for?”  She asked hesitantly.

           “My wish,” he began, cupping the little fish in his hand,  “is for strength.”

           “Strength?”  Kate was confused.  “What do you want to be strong for?”

            “Maybe I should have said courage,” he amended, turning to face her fully.  She quelled the desire to reach up and touch his cheek.  Despite all her vows of the past twenty-four hours, she was very unsure of herself.

           “Courage?  But Crane, you were brave enough to save all those people today!”  She shook her head.  “You don’t need courage.”

           “Oh, but I do, Katy,” he sighed.  “I need the courage to tell you something I’ve wanted to tell you for years.”

           “Years?”  Lord, she was sounding like a damned parrot!

           “Probably since the day you bloodied my nose for me,” he chuckled wryly.  He gazed steadily at her.  “Katy do you ever regret marrying me?”  he asked suddenly and her heart jumped into her throat.

           “Crane, you probably won’t believe me, but even in the midst of all our more wicked fights, I never did.”  She admitted in a voice that was barely above a whisper.  Smiling, he bent to kiss her lingeringly.

           “Sweetheart, I love you,” he said simply, his lips lifting from hers but barely.  Her eyes flew open to stare wildly into his.

           “You’re only saying that because of the twins!”  She protested, not daring to believe him, even though her heart ached to acknowledge his words as truth.

           “No, Katy!  Don’t ever think that!”  He cupped her chin in his hand.  “I lied to you and myself when I said I could never love anybody.  That I didn’t believe in it.  The truth was, I saw the only woman I could ever love fall for someone else, so I talked myself into believing that love could never exist for me.  When you left to go to the city, it only confirmed my belief.  Damn it, Katy, why are you making me explain all this?”  He brushed his knuckles along the line of her cheek.  “All I want to do is hold you and tell you how much I love you.”

           “But you think I love your brother!”  She argued.  “You can’t love me!”  This was not the way she had dreamt of it at all.

           “I can and I do,” he disagreed.   “Oh, Daniel was right, we’re going to argue until we’re in our graves,” he sighed.

           “Don’t tease me, Crane,” Kate warned, her eyes filling with tears.  “I thought I loved Brian, I really did, but I was wrong.  Once I grew up, I grew out of it and realized that I had been blind all those years.  I didn’t know what to do, because you’d said that you could never love anybody, and you knew how I felt about Brian, and we fought all the time.  I didn’t know until today that you cared about me until Brian told me about when we were kids.  Well, not kids, because you were twenty, and …oh, dear!  I can’t stop crying!”  She burst into full-fledged sobs.

           “Sssh, sssh,” he endeavored to calm her.  “Katy did all that mangle of words mean that you might love me?”  He asked gently, and she nodded.  “Then why the hell are you crying?”

           “Because I’m a woman!”  She retorted, finishing with an inelegant sniff.  “And because I didn’t expect the fish to work quite so well.”

           “The fish?”  He looked puzzled around the joyful smile that had begun when she nodded.  “Ah, the fish.  You wished.”  He surmised.  “Katy, sweetheart, I really do love you,” he chuckled, pulling her into his arms and kissing her tenderly.

           “And I love you,” she returned, feeling as if the sun had just broken through five days of rainstorms.  “Isn’t it wonderful!”  She kissed him rapturously.  “We’ll never fight again.”

           “Oh, Kate, shut up!”  He commanded, exasperated.  “Let me kiss you properly.”  He suited action to words.

           “My, my, isn’t this cozy?”  Daniel’s amused voice broke into their embrace.  “I just stopped by to see if anyone needed anything and to find out for the folk back home if you’ve thought of names for those babies of yours.”  He completely ignored the situation he’d caught them in.

           “Yes we have,” Kate told him, her face shining with the love she could finally admit.  “Maggie and  Amanda.”

           “Kelly and Megan!”  Crane disagreed, happier than his brother had seen him in months.

           “Maggie and Amanda!”  Kate repeated firmly.

           “Kelly and Megan.”  He stated, his eyebrows beginning to knit together over his sparkling blue eyes.

           “Maggie and Amanda!”  Kate glared at him.

           “Kelly and Megan.”  Crane’s tone became menacing.

          “I like Maggie and Kelly if anyone cares,” Daniel offered laughingly.  “See you tomorrow.”  He closed the door behind him

          “Crane McFadden, if you think that for one instant, I’m going to call any daughter of mine after that snit of a Megan Cummings who chased you all through high school, you have another thing coming.”  Kate’s eyes flashed angrily.

           “We’ll never fight again?  Wasn’t that what you said?”  Crane grinned in vast amusement.  “Oh, Katy, I love you.” He laughed.

           “Daniel’s right.  Maggie and Kelly.”  She smiled at her husband.  “Shock the nurses and stay here with me,” she suggested, twining her arms about his neck.

           “Try and move me.”

 

 

Epilogue

           “Just you try and make me, Zachary McFadden!”  Maggie McFadden, first girl-child in the family for three generations glared at her older cousin, green eyes spitting fire.  At ten years of age, she was the image of her mother.

           “With one hand behind my back!”  The boy retorted with a toss of his dark brown head.  “You’re just a girl,” he scoffed.

           “Do you two always have to fight?”  Kelly asked calmly.  As usual, she wore the peacekeepers robes.

           “Mummy says it’s in their blood.”  The twins’ nine-year old sister, Samantha claimed dryly with a roll of the blue eyes that she had inherited from her father.  “Let them fight it out, it might be fun,” she suggested.

           “Dad says he’ll tan Zach’s hide if he ever hits Maggie again.”  Seven year old Josh reminded one and all.

           “Uncle Adam tans Zach’s hide almost every week,”  Samantha observed.   “And Daddy threatens Maggie the same.”

           “And it never works,” the middle of Adam and Hannah’s boys, Sean, sighed, never lifting his nose out of his ever-present book.

           “Sean, what are you reading about?”  Five year old Jenna, Brian and Kayla’s only child asked, curling up beside her favorite cousin on the bottom step. She was a quiet child, delicate, spoiled by the whole family.

          “Tom Sawyer,” he replied, slipping an arm about her waist.  “Would you like to hear some, Jen?”

           “Why don’t you all listen for a while?”  Crane strode through the sea of children in his front yard, noting the battle stance of his favorite daughter and oldest nephew.  “It’s a good story.”

           “You think they’re all good stories, Uncle Crane,” Adam’s only daughter, Jessie noted, her dark braids bobbing as she shook her head.

           “Hi Dad.”  Seven year old Michael sauntered out of the house, reminding Crane so much of his brother Evan that he grinned.

           “No bloodshed,” he warned, knowing this gang all too well.  Why they ended up at the Bar C so often, the Lord only knew.  Shaking his head, he entered the house, hoping for some late lunch.

           “Katy, I’m home,” he called out once through the door.

           “In the kitchen,” she called back.  Smiling, he went to join her.  As always, the sight of his wife brought a sparkle to his eyes.  She hadn’t changed in the ten years since the twins’ birth.  She was still slender and willowy and wore her fiery hair long and hanging down her back in shining cascades.  She was still his Katy.

           “Oh, I wish Michael would learn to put things back,” she sighed turning to greet him with a smile.  In her hands, she held a large jar of peanut butter which she held up for his inspection.

           “Peenup budder!”  Crane’s youngest daughter, two-year old Robin, crawled out from under the table and grinned at her parents.

          “Well, hello there, Poppet,” Crane grinned as he bent down to pick her up.  She giggled appreciatively as he began to tickle her.  She was the true McFadden-Cantrell mixture, with her dark eyes so like her Uncle Adam’s and her bright red curls.

           “What’s going on out front?”  Kate asked curiously.  There were always adventures in the offing with the younger McFaddens.

           “Your daughter was about to bash Zach when I came in,” Crane chuckled, sitting at the table with a pleased Robin on his lap.  She didn’t get her father to herself too oftern.

           “How come when she’s fighting with Zach, she’s my daughter, but when she brings home A’s in math she’s yours?”  Kate voiced the age-old question.

           “’Cause you used to fight with Adam, and I used to bring home A’s in math,” her husband responded smugly.  She shook her head in amusement and began to prepare his lunch for him while he entertained their daughter.

           She watched them for a moment, noting fondly that he had a little more grey in his hair than when she’d married him.  Probably got it from her, or Maggie, she reflected wryly.  The laugh lines around his blue eyes were deeper and the planes of his face more angular, but he was still as whipcord lean at thirty-seven as he had been at twenty-seven.  And he could still ignite her passionate nature with just one look.

           “Oh, Crane, guess what?”  She prompted, setting two large sandwiches in front of him and sitting down with her own mug of coffee.

           “What?”  He reached around Robin’s bright head for a sandwich.

           “Kayla’s going to have another baby.  Finally.”  Kate flashed him a gamin grin.  “Don’t you know by now that when I say ‘guess what’ another one of us is pregnant?”

           “She must be over the moon,” her husband acknowledged.  “When’s she due?”

           “Early spring.  End of March, beginning of April.  Robin, don’t put Daddy’s watch in your mouth, please.  Crane, why do you let her play with it?”  She sighed.  He’d never change.

           “I like to annoy you,” he retorted smugly.

           “I know,” she said wryly.  “Guess what else.”  She watched his eyes narrow with satisfaction.

           “You or Hannah?”  He set Robin back onto the floor and waited for her response.

           “How do you feel about Travis for a boy?”  She asked happily.

           “Katy!  Again!”  Crane whooped joyously, much to the amusement of his watching womenfolk.  How his reactions had changed since the first time she had told him she was pregnant.

           “Mom!  Daddy!” Maggie’s voice called to them from the front of the house, breaking up the celebration.

           “Heavens, what catastrophe now?”  Kate wondered, following Crane to the front door.  “What are you yelling about, Maggie?”  She asked her daughter who was hopping up and down in excitement.

           “A mystery!”  The child responded eagerly, and both Crane and Kate let out sighs of relief.

           “What mystery?”  Crane asked, sitting on the top step of the porch, all the children gathering around him.

           “Well, it’s not a real mystery, Daddy,” Kelly admitted.  In looks, she was almost identical to her twin, but that was where the similarity stopped.  Whereas Maggie was definitely Kate’s daughter, Kelly was Crane’s, always calm and level-headed unless really riled which was seldom.

           “This fell out of the Tom Sawyer book you lent me, Uncle Crane,” Sean said solemnly, handing over a long white envelope.  “It has Auntie Kate’s name on it,” he added.

           “Imagine that!”  Crane rolled his eyes for the benefit of his audience as he gave Kate the envelope.

           “Maybe it’s a treasure map!”  Jessie exclaimed excitedly.  “To a gold mine!”

           “I hear echoes of a young Guthrie,” Kate laughed, reminded of her youngest brother-in-law’s affinity for lost gold mines.  She looked at the envelope closely.  Katy Cantrell, in her grandfather’s handwriting.  “No treasure map kids, just an old letter.”  A chorus of disappointed oh’s greeted her announcement.

           “C’mon, let’s go over to the Circle Bar Seven,” Maggie suggested.

           “Yeah, we can play Indians up in the hayloft!”  Zachary agreed.  With loud whoops and yells, the  children dashed off, a new interest on the horizon.

           “Look how Sam and Sean take care of Jenna,” Crane pointed out to his wife.  “We must all be doing something right with them.”

           “I suppose,” Kate agreed absently, turning over the letter, speculating on it’s contents.  “Honey, keep an eye on Robin, will you?”  She bent over and kissed the top of his head.  “I love you.” She told him the words he never grew tired of hearing.

           “I love you too, kiddo,” he returned with an amused smile.  He had lost her attention for a short while at least.

           Kate wandered into the house and settled on the sofa, looking at the envelope for the longest time.  She was almost afraid to open it.  It had been written so long ago.  Finally, fed up with her own shilly-shallying, she ripped open the envelope and began to read the pages inside.

My dearest Katy,

      I am sitting here at my desk looking at one of the more gorgeous sunsets of the year, and it reminds me of you.  The moon reminds me of your sister, but you are definitely the fiery sunset type, my girl.  I have just returned from the doctor, and he has advised me that it might be a good time to think about writing up a will.  Seems my ticker is getting low on gas.

      I thought for along time before I wrote the will, and made some decisions that probably won’t be too popular with you should the need for this will arise.  Please don’t think too harshly of me, and remember the old saying, ‘I’m doing this all for you’. 

      Should you decide to return to the Bar C and take over the running of the place, you will no doubt be furious with me for putting you under the discerning eye of Adam.  Understand, Katy, you are like your father, headstrong and impulsive, and Kayla is like your mother, too innocent and trusting for her own good.  That is why I have entrusted the McFadden lads with this very important job of watching over the two of you.  You’ll come to understand in time, I hope.

      There is a reason as well for the codicil which I added only after much serious thought.  I know of your infatuation with young Brian, but my dear, I must confide in you that he is not the man for you.  You are too much alike to ever have a successful marriage.  I also know of your indiscretion with his brother.  The poor lad appeared at my door the week after you left, guilty as hell, offering to do the right thing and marry you.  That certainly set me for a loop, young lady.  I soon managed to talk him out of such foolishness, but I also realized that the boy is quite smitten with you.  God knows why, you can be such a bad-tempered hellion when he’s around.

     At any rate, Katy, if something were to happen to me before the year is out, you would not be able to keep the ranch in the black.  In that eventuality, assuming that you have returned, think seriously about marrying young Crane.  He’s a good lad, and really does love you, although he’ll probably deny it today.  And you care for him, of that I’m certain.  Once you get rid of the stardust in your eyes where his brother is concerned, you’ll realize this too.  I have a feeling, Katy.  Maybe it’s because my time is coming near, or maybe I’m just getting senile.  Whatever the case, I have a premonition.  You’ll marry that McFadden boy, and he’ll never know another moments peace in his lifetime.

      Well, my problem granddaughter, the evening chores await me.  I’ll enclose this letter with my will, and if it should come to pass that you have need of the one, the other will be there.  Please do not think too harshly of an old man who only wants to do the best thing for his loved ones.  I know you’ll take care of Kayla, but someone has to take care of you, whether you like it or not.  And you won’t like it, that I know.  Should my senile thoughts prove truth, and you do marry that McFadden lad, and should you have a little girl, think of naming her after your old granddad.  I’ve always thought Samantha was a pretty name for a girl.

      Remember always the love I have for you and Kayla.  It will always be there in some special way.

                                 Grandad.

           Kate sat a long while as the silent tears dripped onto the yellowing pages of her grandfather’s letter.  Her little Samantha, named for Sam Cantrell, possessed the same wry humour as her grandfather, as well as his infinite love of the land.  It was just too incredible!  And that he should have known everything about herself, Crane and Brian that had happened all those years ago.  That he should have set up his will with the express purpose of seeing her married to Crane, knowing she loved him years before she realized it herself.  It was just too fantastic!  A wily old fox didn’t begin to describe him.

           “Crane!  Crane!  You’re not going to believe this!”  She jumped off the sofa, intending to dash out to the porch and share the letter with her husband, but skidded to a stop as she caught sight of the picture of Sam Cantrell on the mantle piece.  Was it her imagination, or did the smile on his face seem to grow wider?  No, it couldn’t be.  Damn!  The smile was turning into an outright grin!  With a helpless shrug, she grinned back.  “It worked, Grandad.  It really worked.”

 

 

 


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